FUCKING THIS RIGHT HERE

PEAR DRAMA PEAR DRAMA

MEESA PROUD TO BE ACCEPTIN THE NOMINATION OF DE GREEN PARTY FOR PRESIDENT OF THESE-A UNITED STATES

"also, the Zionist Cabal made me do it" She shouldn't be in public office but the bare minimum a human being would do would repent the bigotry she's perpetrated, a thing she has not even begun to do.

SNL WENT FOR IT

I don't like the bit about "you listen to Black people about racism" because frankly people who are part of this problem don't do that either, but otherwise... yes.

The two funniest things to happen to Donald Trump are: 1. Four Seasons Landscaping 2. Epstein emails seemingly exonerate Bill while also having the implication that Donald showed him a great time.

Me sowing: ZIONISTS CONTROLLING THE WEATHER! MOSSAD DID THIS! AIPAC ARE BEHIND MY ENEMIES Me reaping:

Crash out-In-Chief

This account (not Lux, to be clear) fucking sucks. I'm sick of seeing their shit everywhere.

you: it probably is not actually true that donald trump blew bill clinton me: it depends on what your definition of is is

It is 1998. I am at the kitchen table writing Batman fanfic but I keep getting distracted by breaking news about a Bill Clinton sex scandal It is 2025. I am at the kitchen table writing a canonical Bat-book but I keep getting distracted by breaking news about a Bill Clinton sex scandal

Jake from Animorphs 🤝 Katniss from Hunger Games * forced to become a child soldier to save their sibling * won the war, but failed to save the sibling * looked to as a leader but doesn't want to be * has a wholesome cinnamon roll love interest * PTSD as far as the eye can see

This isn't as bad as other NYT bullshit, but it's pretty fucking awful.

The new thing about Trump giving oral sex to Bill Clinton is obviously bullshit, it's not like there's footage out there of Donald Trump motorboating Rudy Giuliani or something.

Nobody talks about Matt Gaetz's work helping young Americans get healthcare.

The American people voted in 2024 under the understanding they were bringing Epstein back

Amazing news for Benny Gantz

This judgment of how people can find an obvious twerp impressive is a little funny from Chris Hayes

This year being as fuck stupid as it is I don't know if I should have expected "The Epstein files exonerate Clinton" but that is immensely 2025 coded in its stupidity.

The number one question you should ask on social media is "would this joke be funny if a man in a suit and sunglasses was reading this to me while I am held in a dimly lit room"

Apparently the CDPR CEO regrets making Witcher 2 a structurally insane game, but I'm looking at the Cyberpunk 2077 where people are discussing what the plot of the game actually *was* and having an intelligent conversation about it, so I hope CDPR never stop getting experimental.

I want Sarah McBride and Pete Buttigieg to do a video where they cook something. I feel like that would be the single greatest event in getting people to fedpost in history. I do mean cooking, I'm sure one of the two of them knows at least one recipe. Just have them do an inoffensive activity.

The thing about the current crisis which Trinity pointed out perfectly is that none of it had to happen. Not a single one of these awful things would happen if people had voted better.

Me when dating

This is basically what I've been saying. It's hard to negotiate when the other side is just gunning people down because lol lmao. There is no real lever of pressure to apply in the face of sheer nihilism.

I have never seen the vibes as rancid as they've been today. I'm going to go on r/thewitcher and talk about how much I like the show to detox

What in the actual fuck is wrong with you, dude? Do you get off on being this dishonest? If someone says "when I was growing up, I had suicidal thoughts, thank god I never acted on them" you'd respond "HOLY SHIT YOU HATE YOURSELF TO THIS DAY" Fix your soul.

If you're queer and never struggled with the hope of maybe not dealing with the amount of shit that comes with it, you have lived a wondrous life but please recognize that is not the rest of us.

Theres a joke here about a bookshop saying this and I am not smart enough to figure it out

1/6 A new standard for public accountability is here. GLOW—Government Lawyers Oversight Watchdog—is officially launching today to hold government lawyers accountable. We're unveiling The Government Lawyers Database at glowlaw.org. #RuleOfLaw #Accountability

For the past few months I and others have been bugging you about holding government lawyers to account. Well, this is what we have been working on. Welcome to GLOW - Government Lawyers Oversight Watchdog!

Schumer just dog walked both GOP and you, and both you and they are mad about it. Now Democrats get another round of news stories about how Republicans refuse to negotiate and are making everything worse, *and* can now safely retreat to better asks. An unmitigated win. But you're still mad.

I genuinely hate "it's not left or right" rhetoric. The right did this. The left didn't try to push a wannabe dictator on America. The left isn't currently trying to starve poor Americans

JCO strikes at the heart of what truly bothers me about these billionaires, more than anything else. When is the last time we saw joy from Elon Musk, JKR, or any of them? George RR Martin, a wealthy non-billionaire, makes his weird train sets and loves football and travels, but them?

Misread this, thought "I don't know *anyone* this old, all the rabbis I know are from the current era" and my brain just did not question the premise it had come up with for way too long.

Rewatching 30 Rock and I feel like Tracy Morgan and Jack McBrayer are an absolutely underrated comedic duo. That is some all-timer comic chemistry that just sorta got forgotten.

oh so these people do pay attention to who politicians follow on social media, they just don’t care that the vice president follows a bunch of actual neo-nazis

It's not ok to put a spotlight on such truths. Let the horrors remain in the shadows.

Nothing makes you feel as old as realizing that zoomers now work for NATO

You fucking people will let anyone off the hook for their violent hateful beliefs and all they have to do is say shiny words you like You’re all a bunch of Nazi tattoo forgiving, Jewish space lasers forgetting gullible marks getting played for fools As a Jew I suggest you all go fuck yourselves.

Bugs Bunny just got Daffy Duck to yell “No, it’s duck season!” and insist on hanging up a big DUCK SEASON sign, but because it’s Chuck Schumer y’all are livid over how he did it by first putting up a RABBIT SEASON sign.

Political reporters and commentators have an understanding of tactics at least matching the level of the average Looney Tunes protagonist challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)

This article is about something deeply horrifying but also Israelis are the funniest people in the world. www.timesofisrael.com/ex-idf-legal...

Simple point. Couldn't be simpler. TRANS RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS, MOTHERF**KERS. Umkay?

Me when my distraction works and I know I have five minutes where no one is watching the vault.

This question hits different when you've had legit enmities with creators whose work you like. But I can't imagine getting along with most actors I like except for maybe Alan Tudyk who seems to be easy to get along with. I feel like Tarantino would lose patience with me quickly.

Kanye West met with Rabbi Pinto, a famously corrupt rabbi. I've got nothing.