We need to all agree to stop interviewing executives like they’re celebrities. You’re just someone’s boss. Go run your dumb company and stop subjecting us all to your inner thoughts. We don’t care

A new twist on a classic

Huh. I thought we won? And that this isn’t a war? But that’s cool, a Senator comparing this to a World War is probably just a metaphor and shouldn’t be taken literally I guess

and not a single fucking thing is going to happen

There are now two very good reasons to mask up in stores.

Have you ever not eaten an apple in a while and then you eat one and you’re like holy FUCK this is good, were they always this good? damn

If he means the “people who don’t belong here” are billionaires, then this is extremely accurate

Phil Collins stands in the forest clearing, one hand on his sword, eyes closed, deep in thought. He can feel the presence of his oldest, most dangerous enemy. David Lee Roth appears in the clearing. Phil says “I see you’ve returned to face me.” David replies, “Bozay-de-bozay-de-bop. Diddly bop.”

What’s it called when we do it

The only correct answer is 1.) Eggplant 2.) Chicken 3.) Meatball

making connections

It rules that everyone in our govt has an actual job that they are paid to do but instead they are busy posting AI videos of themselves wrestling a giant twinkie on X You or I would be fired immediately but the ruling class can keep making their silly videos on the clock as everything burns

Lolllllllllllllll fuck you Cran Denshaw

and they’re still not happy

I was just telling someone how half the shows on tv are about cops and the other half are about working

Happening now! #CovidCautious

Steven Segal-ass looking pic 😒

This is one of those sentences that starts great and gets more awesome with every word

This is the reward you get for bending the knee. Every single time

Nobody wants this

Phil Collins stands in the forest clearing, one hand on his sword, eyes closed, deep in thought. He can feel the presence of his oldest, most dangerous enemy. David Lee Roth appears in the clearing. Phil says “I see you’ve returned to face me.” David replies, “Bozay-de-bozay-de-bop. Diddly bop.”

WOLVERINE: [unsheathing claws] watch it, bub, I'm the best there is at what I do SAMURAI PHIL COLLINS: oh yeah? [chops him up to the exact cadence of the In The Air Tonight drum fill]

Minecraft lookin ass dog

yes yes we've all seen the proposals to dig a canal around the strait, to transport the barrels by land, to turn invisible and sneak through. but have you considered: Cargo Zeppelins

Some of you are out here Holiday In Cambodia gooning when you should be Nazi Punks Fuck Off maxxing, and it shows

Why Do Some People Still Wear Masks In 2026 And On A Completely Unrelated Note Why Is Everyone In The Office Sick Right Now Apart From The Guy In The Mask?

Mussolini his ass

*astronaut with gun meme* “You mean this new technology is just slavery?” “Always has been”

You cannot convince me that Kash Patel does not sleep in a bed that is shaped like a race car

the worst part is we actually made good progress on a lot of the right lessons (given congressional resource constraints) and then it all got blown to hell by the worst people you know

I used to be a financial advisor for school systems and had to walk around college campuses all day. In a full suit and tie. In Texas. And I’m fat as shit. I still didn’t sweat this much

The immune system is not a muscle. It is a cleansing fire. It causes collateral damage. It has a limited supply of fuel. It can get out of control. Don’t burn your whole house down every time by catching every disease without caution.

if phantom menace had included a sleazy politician called marco rubio, we'd all have been like "yeah, that sounds like a typical star wars name"

the most thoroughly vindicated man in hollywood. trade disputes and conspiracies ✔️ republic subverted over sex hangups ✔️ “sand people” killed, royalty indifferent ✔️ naive idiot casts vote for tyranny ✔️ villains with silly names like “dooku” ✔️ powerful clerical order screwing up ✔️ list goes on

Pretty crazy how important the blockade of a trade route is right now

Why are they like this. Why are they all like this

when you just can’t shit your pants fast enough, Buffalo Wild Wings has got you covered

forthwith

yeah I’m sure SHE’S the one not experienced at navigating the real world also this definitely happened and he definitely didn’t just make up a person to be mad about

Bro he is SO WEIRD OH MY GOD

One of the greatest verses in punk rock: I come from the land of Ben Franklin, Twain and Poe and Walt Whitman Otis Redding, Ellington, the country that I love But it’s the land of the slaves and the Ku Klux Klan, Haymarket Riot and the Great Depression Joe McCarthy, Vietnam; sickest joke I know

Every day of life under Trump is waking up to a headline like, “Wyoming is missing”

They get mad when people on SNAP want to buy soda

pro tip for AI enthusiasts who want people to stop being mean to them: maybe stop talking about how it's going to take everybody's jobs all the time (and if you really do believe that, then 1. consider how that'll come off to the people whose jobs will be lost and 2. become a UBI stan)

gotta be another way to do this

Hi, Starbucks? I'd like to order 1000 salted caramel mocha lattes to go

Oh cool this should help

Worth noting that San Van Hollen, Sen Alsobrooks, and Rep Mfume all said that a surge is coming to Baltimore, they have seen the signs to confirm it, and the people of Baltimore need to be ready.