I need to make sure certain people know about this account, so they scroll through the posts and go oooohhhh! And those people are @floregonian.com @mementomorty.bsky.social @traumasoapboxes.bsky.social

Hi everybody make sure and overcook your turkey tomorrow so nobody talks about how moist it is

Eating “medium” Pad Thai the color of Hot Cheetos before lifting because my body is a temple (a beautiful structure that should be preserved)

Old McDonald had no veins,

If this doesn’t win an Academy Award I riot this is actual art

Me: Alexa, remind me to get to the gym. Alexa: Gin has now been added to your shopping list. Me: Meh, close enough.

The sexual tension between me and this paper plate of Thanksgiving food

Gravy is self-care 😊

Those drippings need to be in your dressing. Trust me.

Also be smooth adding the liquid, don't panic. Go slowly and smoothly and you'll end up with a nice gravy w/o the lumps. Gravy should be fun, it's the last step before plating up the meal - enjoy the process.

In Gravy We Trust. Honestly, I could get behind a country that fully embraced that motto…

gravy is healthcare

Pro tip: 2 tbsp fat + 2 tbsp flour per 1C of broth.

For my peeps panicking about making gravy this year: Make a roux with the turkey fat from your drippings and some butter. Don’t shy away. Eff the cholesterol. This is gravy. This is important. Use the fat. Embrace the fat. Gravy is the light and the way. I believe in gravy. Trust me.

Drinks that double as a charcuterie board 🤌🏻

Doing my part for the environment by flipping off every cybertruck I see

Marching through the house WHERES MY SUPERSUIT *stretchy pants and a hoodie

I'm screenshotting to avoid giving her the engagement she so craves, but did y'all see this All Skeets Matter headassery chdjx

Half the country starting to learn what kind of Temu government they ordered

Optimist: The cup is half full Pessimist: The cup is half empty @traumasoapboxes.bsky.social: The cup is completely empty and needs blood, not saline

And lo It beginneth

It's probably out there helping provide additional context to the main part of a book somewhere.

It’s effing friday

No notes, happy Friday babes

Treat the trolls that are popping up here like you would invasive spotted lanternflies -- stomp on them (with a quick block or report) and then just keep walking, with a little spring in your step because you're helping protect our ecosystem

Wait wait wait one of them just called themselves Magalicious in my replies is this real are they calling themselves magalicious DEAR GOD THE CRINGE

more users are joining and the hog grows longer

The appendix is all “it’s not you it’s me”

Hey guys someone left a full baby diaper in the grocery store parking lot right where someone would step when they get out of their car AND GUESS WHO WAS THE LUCKY WINNER

I miss my appendix. I hope it’s doing OK.

Patients have no reason to trust us until we earn their trust Outward, visible, loud signs of allyship along with actual action & support are vital in healthcare spaces where our pts are exceptionally vulnerable Ordered a new badge reel today @clairezagorski.bsky.social

Post a perfect album from the 90s (And if y’all don’t know this album whew you have homework)

Convinced people learned to drive through the parking deck on this bad boy

DO NOT FLUSH

It’s good to see this acknowledgment—this kind of surveillance of trans women is sexual harassment. It has a deeply sexual character and is built on a long history of sexual exploitation

Much like how the most loudly “prolife” states also have the highest rates of child poverty, the most virulently anti-trans states also have high rates of violence toward women. Because their goal isn’t to preserve life or keep vulnerable people safe, it’s to enforce conservative gender norms.

Whenever we make ourselves smaller for them, they just shrink our box again.

This Trans Day of Remembrance, the only message I have is: It's not enough to remember us, you need to support us while we're still here.

Patients have no reason to trust us until we earn their trust Outward, visible, loud signs of allyship along with actual action & support are vital in healthcare spaces where our pts are exceptionally vulnerable Ordered a new badge reel today @clairezagorski.bsky.social

I see the necrotic goat sacks are getting lonely over in bot land

Every time a right winger complains about BlueSky I will invent a new gender

New thread since the white supremacists thought they'd slide in here under the guise of "harmless queerphobes." The two are not so far apart.

Lift heavy stone. Make sad brain quiet.

Blood over pasta water.

Guys i have been informed it is Wednesday that was a surprise to me