Thunder lost, and will continue to lose, because of that “we’re just like Israel, hard lucky underdogs” horseshit

Way ahead of you, sandwich board

As a guy with half a trillion dollars, I have lots of options: 1. Enjoy a 100% stress-free life doing whatever I please in unfathomable luxury all over the world with people of my choosing 2. Have 87 meltdowns a day on a website

US hard power (forcing compliance) is going to remain formidable. US soft power (attracting collaboration) is withering before our eyes. The challenge for the US is going to be how expensive, dangerous, and exhausting it is to extort everything from everyone, everywhere, all the time.

me too, local diner

if the Jays don't win this one for Dylan Cease, I'll.. well I won't really do anything. But I won't like it.

They’re saying it’s the most Swanboys we’ve ever seen. They say it’s never been this fast, we’ve never had this many Swanboys, it’s incredible.. and they say his neck shouldn’t go like that, “How can he swallow??”.. with a neck like that.. but we don’t care, don’t care just give us the Swanboys..

You have GOT to be fucking kidding me

oh Trey Yesavage is BACK back

just received a verification code. Thinking I might share it with a few people.

Before Keanu Reeves became a Hollywood star, he worked as a reporter for CBC and covered a teddy bear 🧸 convention in 1984.

Man vs man, man vs himself, man vs the environment. Wow, I am sick and tired of all three of those.

One of the Canes, Flyers, Habs or Sabres will be in the Stanley Cup Finals. Three of those four would be fun and novel. Naturally it’s going to be the Canes

cheering for Manchester City because of Arsenal must be what it feels like to vote for Democrats because of Republicans

We are Super Tottenham Hotspur, from the lane!

Tired: touching grass Wired: planting trees

art should disturb the jagoffs and jack off the disturbed

This can’t be good for Tim Heidecker’s vocal chords

I agree, that was perfect

I’m in this and he actually makes a good point

What more does this man have to do before his mind can be described as "twisted"

Regret to inform that I have become “finally found a career I’m passionate about” guy..

Current status: touching grass Grass status: good

Some of the movie artwork that goes viral can come from the world of ALTERNATIVE MOVIE POSTERS. It’s INTERNATIONAL DESIGN DAY, so here's a selection and their creators - none of these are AI... First up, Inception (2010) by Grzegorz Domaradzki 1/61

they say they third time’s the charm. funny expression. anyways

Google Maps. Show me the nearest casinos. You got it boss. Here’s a bunch of shit that isn’t casinos. Plus one casino. Perfect.

TRIP REPORT wearing the mask from The Mask 00:00 Putting on the mask 00:01 Already hitting. Playing honky tonk piano with 5 arms. 00:12 Bouncing around like flubber […] 03:50 Omg finally saw a mirror. Why is my head so big. Kids are yelling "John Fetterman" 03:51 it won't come off it won't come OFF

maxie-world's largest goose, sumner, missouri, 1988

I used to be an adventurer like you.. then I took an arrow to the anus

As a bald I can wear any style hat without ridicule. You wouldn’t make fun of a wheelchair

One thing about Kash Patel eventually being fired is there’s no way to imagine what his face will look like upon hearing the news.

Straw Man Fallacy: when you pitch to Miles Straw thinking "This dude doesn't have the pop to take go yard."

patsy the whale mini golf, west main, hyannis port, massachusetts, [between 1972 and 2008]

Now that’s what I call British Columbia!

Oh no! That was one of my favourite venues!!

possibly an even worse day for Hungarian football fans than when Ireland knocked them out of World Cup contention

We’re all waiting for It to happen obviously, but imagine how funny it would be if Vance went first. The obvious disinterest in his voice as he says what a “great” VP he was. Falling asleep at his funeral. Referring to him as “JB” like a week later.

It’s April baby. My kind of month.

remembered a good tweet

Absolutely love putting golf on for 4 days and basically ignoring it for 3.5-3.75 of those days

"Program can not fast forward beyond the live point" well why not

I know no one was saying anything about me being a close associate of Jeffrey Epstein or saying I dated him and that I knew Ghislaine Maxwell and was gifted by them to the president. But just in case anyone was going to, here's an address about it at the White House

I may not live in your city, or indeed your country, but thank you anyway Mr Mayor. You are right to praise me, in my opinion.

do not say “clavicular” to me

I am weary of being jerked around by the American President.

Please. My hockey team sucks. My soccer team sucks. I can’t have my baseball team suck too. Please don’t let this be the Hell Season for the Jays that it is clearly shaping up to be.