i’ll be your wish i’ll be your dream i’ll be your fantasy

do you think Hyrule Herb can get you high

got so locked in to a little game on my phone that i didn’t get on my bus

oh, what a tangled weavened web

I'm very happy for Sacramento Kings' ownership and management that they will get another fresh crop for their favorite activity: squandering young talent that just needs some time to develop and letting other teams reap the benefits

This is honestly what it feels like watching the US/Iran news on a daily basis.

ah another day of being beautiful and strong and knowing i am a normal person who is good at their job and is doing enough even tho it really feels bad all the time

Matt Johnson gets distracted remembering a bubble tea he had almost a decade ago and tells a lengthy anecdote about it

went to the OR for the first time yesterday and the surgeons were listening to the Pussycat Doll’s “Don’t Cha”

Saint Bernard and the Virgin, by Alonso Cano, 1645-52, 📸 by @MilesKennedy

What a fucking shot holy shit

Artemis II primary mission status: SUCCESS (escaped Florida)

started hailing while i was in a cemetery, what kinda omen is that

just started using fb marketplace and i could get addicted to being on the receiving end of the crazy stuff people say

had a dream that lived in a studio apartment with two bathrooms

reporter: tell us a story that encapsulates NBA great Dwyane Wade as a leader Bibby: i know just the one

i keep forgetting which one of the 30’s i am. pretty sure it’s 31 but i’ll never be certain

this joke is very funny if you are a serif font enthusiast or use a screen reader, and not really funny for anyone else (except me, who wrote it and falls in neither category)

fans of Iondon are about to be so disappointed

ask not for whom the pussy pops, it pops for thee

Pretty crazy how important the blockade of a trade route is right now

Mad Men as a show has so many incredible performances by the cast. it’s basically everyone except Glen

can’t convince myself to do anything so instead i sit around thinking about how much i could do if i just would

they wrapped the old toilet in a garbage bag and carried it out together like a dead body from a crime scene

we’ve had a handyman at the apartment trying to figure out how to fix our toilet, and after 3 hours they went down to their truck and grabbed a brand new toilet

So there's a war starting in the Middle East, started by a right wing government headed by a guy that's famous for being kind of stupid, and there's a new GTA coming out soon

EAT YOUR VEGATABLES, YUGI-BOY

i still love this meme so much because im like 80% sure whoever made it was really mad when they did but i'll never be certain because it's just unironically correct

trimming my beard to feel handsome again

keep feeling nostalgic for times in my life that were objectively worse than now. what’s up with that

if i were reading a realistic fiction in which the bad guys decided to murder people named Good and Pretti, i would probably put that book down for being too on the nose the feds are openly Evil and the number of martyrs grows by the hour

yeah sex is fun, but have you ever seen your best friend get the offer for a job they really want

pooing doorly (me when my roommate is home and i have to poo with the door closed)

is there anyone willing to give me a login for HBO and/or Paramount? i don’t have a lot to offer in return, except the love in my heart and the occasional venmo

not me saying “not me saying ‘not me saying “not me saying ‘not me saying “not me saying ‘not me saying “not me saying ‘not me saying “not me saying ‘not me saying “not me saying ‘not me saying “not me saying ‘not me saying “not me saying ‘not me saying “not me saying ‘not me saying “not me saying ‘

watching Star Trek again, as is my seasonal duty

Picard morality tip: If one side of a conflict preaches purity of bloodline above communal benefit for all, join the other side.

he looks like he’s gonna sell me a used Matterhorn bobsled

Endless Column, by Constantin Brâncuși, 1938, 📸 by @stephenmally

there’s no jobs available for people like me :(

shopping for glasses is really just me trying to find a frame that looks exactly like my old ones

is there an artistic stylistic choice for all the center framing in movies now that isn’t just “we can show clips on tiktok”

do you think the Muppets have ever met the puppet Yoda

Glad I saved this by @longwall26.bsky.social

Tarantino was also quoted as saying “Uncut Gems wouldn’t stand a good chance at being no. 1 or 2 if it didn’t have a big, giant gem in it … and the gem is Kevin Garnett.”

if you look like this, call me

i’ve been struggling with dandruff (gross) for the better part of 4 years now. i tried a bunch of remedies with varying success, but like 2 weeks ago i finally bought dandruff shampoo, and it’s fucking eliminated it fully. yay