lip filler changed my life

at least i can still watch housewives

i wanted to have nachos for dinner after work but i came home to my bathtub completely filled up from back flow and now i have to wait for maintenance !!!!

yes i eat a plate of nachos for dinner every night yes im doing fine

bleached my hair, it did exactly what i needed it to do which was make me even more handsome and boyish and beautiful and charming

me and my wonderful pathetic son

i wish i had another day off dang

oh but what if i go back to bed?? what about that hmm?? hmmmm??????? goodd night

mercury is retrograde now so maybe i shouldnt just impulsively bleach out my hair but also,, im a professional so

oh i just remembered i could dye my own hair.. oh

went out with a hot girl, texting her the next day concussed from hitting myself over the head with a comically big hammer after my eyeballs popped out my head shaped like hearts

huh hmmm should i try to go blonde again please sound off i just dont know

i want every room in my home to feel like a scene from an I SPY book of picture riddles

pop•tarts review: girl scouts frosted thin mints pretty tasty (eaten frozen, the only way for this one). immediately turned to chocolate dust in the first bite which was alarming but ultimately fine. absolutely unsuitable as a breakfast item but perfect summer night snack 8/10

pop•tarts review: girl scouts frosted coconut caramel strangely tastes more banana than coconut?? but somehow still evokes the idea of the famous girl scout cookie. the filling is definitely more like brown sugar. overall a pleasant & tasty pop•tarts 8/10 cuz it did taste "inspired" by the cookie

pop•tarts review: frosted strawberry milkshake these eluded me for almost a year & as u can see, embarrassing sprinkle distribution. icing is nothing to write home about, filling is reminiscent of those strawberry shortcake ice cream bars but doesnt hold a candle to those tbh. it's fine, 6/10

pop•tarts review: frosted strawberry! classic flavor, cute pink and green sprinkles but inconsistent frosting distribution from pastry to pastry. if i didnt already know, i maybe wouldnt be able to identify the filling as strawberry. 6/10

pop•tarts review: frosted raspberry!! delicious pop•tarts. perfectly executed, generous icing. no notes 10/10

pop•tarts review: frosted banana bread!! i LOVE this pop•tarts. pastry is giving major graham cracker vibes, definitely not too sweet and the banana flavor is actually like banana bread. nice and cinnamony, 9/10 for weak icing distribution

pop•tarts review: frosted strawberry cheesecake definitely not a favorite, cheesecake flavoring evokes fake butter like they went for the cheapest extract. nothing special about the pastry. icing was consistent 6/10

hmmmm 80s pastel guest room...

my hair is at the perfect length to curl away at my neck which makes me feel like a damn frilled lizard NOT in a cool way

why have i never seen a crewneck sweatshirt with a big front pocket

ah ok, choices have been made tonight, ive been reflecting on my feelings recently and my conclusion is clear: im going to have to get gayer.

monday scaries lololol

strawberry micromoon, a celestial snack

pasta with butter, hello,

i have some wuckas

tired of feeling like a horrible weird lump, not sure how to remedy that but we'll try

Nothing better than a glass of #BLOOD 🩸... Except maybe #Men 🧛‍♂️ #Yep #ImGayDracula

airport tex-mex bar smells lowkey like vom, nice

the call of a $20 airport sweatshirt... hmm

managed 2 get a selfie with a major gay icon today!! happy pride 🌈

im in new york looking around at all the gay people and nodding

balleyball

it actually feels so nice to wear a mask in the airport im so anonymous and aloof

i love to nail a client's hairstyle and then have them say "oh now you are never getting rid of me" GOOD I WILL DO YOUR HAIR FOREVER

acting a little bit off the cusp

im GOING to be horny postinf this weekend so go ahead and mute me now if yr a coward

come to new york if u want an ass kicking (im not there but someone over there is probably willing to do it)

hot delicious pizza!!

drinking old fashioned, no straw have to tilt cup back, big ice cube hits my nose, swag or no

girls with big arms i love you

c'est cool lol

Me when I ate a BBQ chip at midnight on a full moon and turned country: Awe heyll

would love to listen to bluegrass at work today but unfortunately im working with cowards who dont appreciate good music

deep melancholy this morning unfortch but ok it will b fine

hey guys remember labubus wow

i look so beautiful when my face is freshly clean and hydrated right before i go to bed and unfortunately no one but my cat is around to witness is but thats ok cuz he appreciates it

wearing the perfume i got from my ex and it smells so damn good but it is so confusing im like who is that why are they here oh it me