The Democrats invented the files but they accidentally put a bunch of stuff about Bill Clinton in there so they kept the files secret but the files are real except the part about Trump which they faked but didn’t release because there’s nothing incriminating in the files. Obviously.

Colbert will be all right, maybe even better off. The world's his oyster and I'm sure MSNBC and Netflix will come calling. He could stand up the biggest late night YouTube channel in days. But they are just torching the Late Show, an institution, solely to appease a dictator. And that fucking sucks.

Democrats have a chance to do the funniest thing ever - make every Congressional race in 2026 about releasing the Epstein files.

He didn't "broker" a ceasefire. He invented a ceasefire in his head and then got mad when reality intruded because he's not well. Report on that honestly, you sycophantic failures.

For a nazi, Elon sure sucks at building rockets.

if people had voted for the nice Black lady, the gays would be dancing with the First Gentleman on the white house lawn today while President Harris worked to get Medicare to cover home Healthcare aides for our aging parents. but this is fun, too, i guess.

this is like drake and kendrick lamar but they're both drake

wow -- @lawrenceodonnell.msnbc.com chokes up while talking about how the Trump administration is killing kids who relied on USAID to get life-saving medicine

Historians will look at the things that Donald Trump and Elon Musk posted on the Internet every single day and they will ask themselves: “how the actual fuck did the American people not notice that these guys were bizarre weirdos & dangerously insane?”

i remember white south africans being stupid and evil but maybe that’s just the mandela effect

Wanna see something cool? At the Grammy's in 1976, Ella Fitzgerald and Mel Torme explained what jazz is. The result? The crowd losing its mind. 🔥

Hot off the presses: people don’t wanna buy a car from a fascist twerp.

Personally, I think it should be front page news for at least a month if a sitting US President is using falsified evidence to try and deny due process to a man who has committed no crime, but that’s just me

Shout out to all the finance bros who didn’t give a shit about democracy, human rights, racism, homophobia, misogyny, the future of the planet or basic human decency and voted for the conman they thought was gonna be good for the economy. You guys are geniuses.

Just accidentally texted Steve Harvey the plans for my invasion of France. I'd appreciate privacy during this difficult time and whatnot.

Jeffrey Goldberg thinking he was being pranked and then realizing he was actually just in the war plans group chat is such a good microcosm of how it feels to be alive right now, everything seems fake until you realize it’s actually real and incredibly stupid

I will never understand how the media doesn’t report on the fact that the guy currently in charge of dismantling our entire system of government posts stuff every day of the week that demonstrates deeply bizarre mental illness.

In MAGA world you can do everything Donald Trump wants for years but if you go against him once you’re a deep state communist who hates freedom, forever. Just ask Mike Pence.

the sound of all my English professors crying out at once

Republicans during a Democratic administration: “the rest of the world doesn’t respect us anymore.” Republicans during a Republican administration: “who cares what a bunch of dumb foreigners think?”

My favorite part of the Constitution is where it says “everybody who works for the USA is beholden to the drug-addled whims of richest person in the planet. Because freedom.”

Whose bright idea was this?

I have long believed that not enough has been written about how GOP members have felt physically intimidated by Trump supporters. It doesn’t excuse their cowardice, but it still deserves more attention.

Your outie understands when someone is making a joke on the internet and doesn't embarrass themselves in people's replies

Elect criminal clown expect criminal circus.

“VOTING FOR THE MAYOR WHO PROMISED TO BLOW UP THE CITY DOESN’T MEAN I APPROVE OF THE MAYOR BLOWING UP THE CITY” A masterclass from @mikedrucker.bsky.social

Because they’re not. And they won’t. When you elect a criminal president, expect crime.

Random thought: has the NYT or any other major newspaper read Elon’s Twitter feed lately? Because the guy is clearly insane & constantly spouting deeply weird nonsense. Seems worth reporting on.

Americans have confused “being really good at one thing” with “being smarter than everyone else.” Donald Trump is good at TV. Joe Rogan is good at podcasting. Elon is good at making money. Aaron Rodgers is good at football. And they’re all complete morons about everything else.

Can’t believe they haven’t blamed DEI yet. I’m sure they’ll get around to it by morning.

I'm old enough to remember when putting baby chickens in a blender would disqualify you from cabinet level positions in the US government. Those were the days.

The story behind RFK Jr. in Samoa's measles crisis has never been reported. He wasn't there to spread misinformation about vaccines (though he did). He wanted to study a "natural experiment" of unvaccinated kids. “I can’t imagine anything less ethical or more cruel.” www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news...

for the potato fears not death

Please don’t even talk to me in the morning until I’ve had my coffee, 27 hours of alone time, several months by the seaside to ease my agonies, and many decades to wander the earth until the fabled blade of my ancestors can finally be reforged

Fun fact: Trumpism has no ideology. It’s a nihilistic cult that believes whatever Donald Trump says on any given day. OK, maybe that’s not a fun fact. But it’s a fact.

This is literally China trying to make Trump look good because they know his stupid presidency will weaken the USA.

Merrick Garland’s inaction may have ended democracy in the United States. But at least he’ll always have his norms.

The largest wildfire in Texas history just happened eleven months ago and destroyed thirty times more area than the one in Los Angeles

ME: who lurks in the shadows of my bedroom? NOSFERATU: it’s Nosferatu ME: who? NOSFERATU: Nosferatu ME: I don’t understand what you’re saying NOSFERATU: I’m Nosferatu ME: NOSFERATU: *sighs* it’s Dracula ME: eek