[Guy who runs FIFA's design shop gets to work retroactively 3D printing four more FIFA peace prizes to represent Trump's first term. Black Rifle Coffee creates "Lifetime Award for Peace and Other Shit" shaped like a grenade]

We’re 24 hours from someone launching something called “tactical milk” that comes in a camo carton shaped like an ammo container.

the best antidote to blackpilling is remembering that every video you see of an ICE thug abusing their power was recorded by an American who volunteered to put themselves in harm's way for the sake of people they've likely never met and never will

Timeline cleanser. Spoiler alert, there's a clip of the two of them singing later on in the thread.

Glad Ken put this together -- the Trump administration is clearly trying to shut the Minnesota Bureau of Criminal Apprehension out of doing their own investigation and it's going to take a ton of time to put together a case and get a conviction.

Not helping someone who got stuck in snow or ice is the Minnesota equivalent of taking a shit on their car hood.

Governor I was not familiar with your game

Absolutely hating that this is now twice this year that she's been on the right side of something.

no I will not be hopping on a quick call to circle back

Agree with Jamelle completely and would like to add that the potentially larger issue is reining in CBP, which is rotten to the core and needs to be dissolved and that's more difficult because it does contain some necessary government functions.

checking in on elon musk, the guy who absolutely did not give a nazi salute last year

better way to think of this is “20,000 of the dumbest, most violent people in the country currently receive government subsidies for their stupidity and violence. should we continue doing that?”

SEAN EVANS: kojima-san, you once said that "just like the human body is 70% water, i'm 70% percent film" what advice you have for seeing the world through the eyes of other generations and ideologies HIDEO KOJIMA: [lowering Da Bomb sauce flavored wing] does something like a "self" exist within you?

I was away when this was supposed to air and finally watched it today. My hat's off to the journalism of the 60 Minutes team and I absolutely hate that Bari Weiss decided to kill this story.

What's the Na'vi phrase for "effectively hide my thunder?"

I hope this hotel sues Hilton for canceling their franchise and they make corporate fucking squeal.

me every single day

this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier

Swalwell: He couldn't run a casino, and now he's going to run a country in South America while he fails to run a country in North America?

It’s hard to believe a president would time an illegal military attack to distract the public’s attention, but today is the statutory deadline for DOJ to release its report on the Epstein file production. Maybe it is just a coincidence.

Read this thread, thank me later.

@govpritzker.illinois.gov Can we get something like this in Illinois? I don't see the federal government moving on this any time soon.

What will poor Eric Adams do for work? That’s nbody’s business but the Turks!

Absolutely stupid to change this -- how much time does it take to actually verify the postage and put the postmark on when they get it?

Marked safe from whatever nonsense this is. 🫠

NYDN: Times Square Trashed Under Mamdani’s Leadership

'South Park' alum Toby Morton responds to unnamed lawyers regarding his registering the Trump-Kennedy Center domain names: "Satire is protected speech... I'll proceed accordingly while you go f^ck yourselves."

Man, it’s bad enough with Alexa. You’re here to be my on-demand jukebox (a job you suck at) and tell me the weather. Our relationship ends there. I don’t want a “morning routine”, hydration alerts or for you to pipe up every time it rains (I own another more effective device called a window.)

Canada is not treacherous. Canada is the nice upstairs neighbor who turned us on to Rush, dropped off Nanaimo bars and is doing its best to talk us out of Trump’s worst impulses

Thoroughly proud of everyone at 60 Minutes for refusing to abandon their journalistic ethics, doing the story and releasing it after CBS tried to kill it, knowing there’s a good chance they would get fired for doing so.

Whe @theonion.com nails it boy do they nail it

Funny how none of these newly-conservative actors and musicians are ever on the rise. I’m sure that must be a coincidence.

Guessing there’s going to be a lot of this, including people getting confidential information just by asking for it.

Throwback to the best Weekend Update skit ever. www.youtube.com/watch?v=qP5b...

Just ran out into the yard to chase off some Gen Xers drinking out of my hose, but when I went back inside I discovered it had just been a distraction to let Cameron Crowe sneak through the window and fuck my cassette player

Happy 100th birthday Dick Van Dyke!

Spot on.

Just going to point out that I appreciate that a Federal org is using Bluesky (and pretty much every other platform) to get the word out about these recalls to as many people as possible. Just great to see an agency still doing their work as intended without injecting politics into it.

Honestly wondering why people bought this thing in the first place.

Best jump scare in history.

Modest proposal: Make ALL the road salt the pet-safe stuff that's pelletized into round balls so everyone's dog doesn't have to navigate a minefield of sharp saline Legos.

It flopped, but the core idea (give me something small and mobile that's electric, rechargeable and faster than walking) has definitely found purchase in scooters and e-bikes and I'm kind of surprised someone hasn't adapted the gyroscope balancing thing onto the smaller form factor of a scooter.

every time

Favorite thing about this weather: taking a long walk with Maggie, who is absolutely built for it and loves playing in snow.

oscar the couch

This week’s xkcd. Wow. It’s incredible and I have nothing I can add to it. xkcd.com/3172

Absolutely every business is going for broke with the emails now but still, having stayed in a few hotels this month, the post-stay emails are like OUT OF CONTROL. It was FINE. There was a BED and WALLS. leave me ALONE

If you use GMail, AI (Gemini) was turned on yesterday by default and now scans all of your content for machine learning. To turn off, go to Settings>General and scroll down. Uncheck the box for "Smart features." There's other "Smart" add-ons as well, but that's the one that reads your content.