It's not impossible, I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home...

One of my favorite animal videos, probably taken at Disney's Animal Kingdom: four asian small-clawed otters racing back and forth across the grass like a troop of predatory socks, hopping up to try and snatch a butterfly out of the air.

How to give GenX an earworm

She is very lonely

BRB, just sending this to all the Irish people I know, to be sure...

Buying new underpants two sizes too big. So the ballroom can protect my family...

Is my memory dodgy, or do we have the Ardern Labour government to thank for this Mondayised Anzac holiday?

Do ya fancy a shag?

Apparently it's tiny spider pride week at the park

What is One.dafone up to now?

Shane Jones made comments quite barmy About a "Butter Chicken Tsunami" His racist dog-whistle Made people say this'll Lose votes, they love Tikka in Palmy

The sudden sensation that you've been knocked out by this martial arts move before: the French call it déjà fu.

Note from my notebook (2017).

Phillipa, if you need someone to help out with the pheasant thing, I know a guy. Not me, though: I'm not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's son. I'm only plucking pheasants til the pheasant plucker comes.

Science-folks: If we run 100 experiments, we might find 1 or 2 of them may have results that can make many dollars. NZ Govt: Excellent. We will fund those 1 or 2 experiments.

This Is Just To Say I have turned off the AI features that were in the update and which you were probably hoping to monetize Fuck you they were stupid so unnecessary and so annoying

Repost if your account is a safe place for the trans community! 💙🩷🤍

I feel for all you dog people who have their hairy babies quivering under the bed because of all the thunder. My 8kg hellbeast is, however, out in the back yard yelling back at the noisy clouds telling them exactly who the boss is.

And the award for this year's most obvious "pump & dump" scam not involving a member of the Trump family goes to...

Marcel Marceau reportedly weak on mime

Gordon Ramsay reportedly weak on thyme

Enemy reportedly weak on Mine

Beastie Boys reportedly weak on rhyme

Doctor Who reportedly weak on time

Ghostbusters reportedly weak on slime

this is an absolute ✨ cultural moment ✨

It's just science, innit

Why has nobody from the game industry protested the imprisonment of this brave and innovative game designer

Any government that isn't right now accelerating plans to transition to 100% clean, renewable energy is either: a. Incompetent b. In the pockets of people who'd rather they didn't c. a & b

OK, so we've had, like, six 1-in-100 years weather events in the last six months. So, by my calculations, that means we can all relax now until about 2626...

Darth Vader, on his day off, pops into a boulangerie in Paris to grab some lunch for his fam. He orders three loaves of bread and two caramel apple pastries. Pain, pain, pain, tarte tartin, tarte tartin...

Wind has switched direction in Hamilton. Took the dogs for a run while it wasn't raining much. Milo enjoyed it very much.

me: "my hairy friend. hairy daughter. whiskery large white mouse thing. the long girl. my one true love. darling creature with gob frills. fish breath" [rustling noises] colleague: "are you ok?" me: oh yes sorry I thought I hung up colleague: I'm gonna need a photo of this hairy daughter

Just told the cat on the sofa that it's international pet day. It looked at me with a disdainful "you disturbed me to tell me that" look, & went back to sleep. We haven't owned a cat for years, but we do still have a catflap.

Simple solution to low birth rates is to learn from history. The baby boom was founded on delivering a welfare state in a unionised society with taxes effective on the wealthy, preceded by five years killing fascists and their leaders.

Everybody loves taco Tuesday!

Prequel to a popular Swedish crime series...

Apropos of absolutely nothing... (40 minutes "radio silence" my arse) j.aufbix.org/plif/archive...

my parents on the moon launch mom: why are they going to the moon dad: same reason we go to your brother in Australia- some people like going very far away to a place where you die if you go outside

I dont know why, but I feel @grumpyyetamusin.bsky.social needs too see this.

Add a food to a movie title Men In Black-Eyed Peas & Rice

Lock, Chicken Stock & Two Smoking Barrels

Add a food to a movie title Mars Bars Attacks

Add a food to a movie title There Will Be Blood Pudding

For Kiwis

Show us your Good Dogs Aotearoa #KuriKlub

The horse op-ed is an instant classic. I can't tell you how much joy this piece gives me. It should be taught in every introductory writing class in no small part because the horse arguments are so compelling. "I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children."