I have a friend in America who has 2 young kids and I’ve been the person they call every Christmas Eve their time to confirm santa came here and is on his way to them and it is randomly making me sad that one day they will stop believing and I won’t have that job anymore 😭

The GBM got me vday flowers today because “I wanted you to have them from the beginning of the day cause you never know what time they are gonna arrive on the day when you order them” 🥹🥹

I was about to buy something from this kiwi owned business and never hit purchase and they have sent me emails asking why including one from the owner asking what went wrong. Tempted to respond and be like I HAVE ADHD AND A TODDLER AND MY WALLET WASNT NEAR ME AND I FORGOT LEAVE ME ALONE

I hope David Seymour is renaming school lunches to SLOP so it’s completely clear exactly what we are giving to the kids.

I’ve needed to post about something but haven’t been able to but anyway here goes. Some of you knew Paula Harris from the other place and before her passing she reached out to me on Instagram asking if I wanted to take some dessert plates off her. Her death was such a shock and last month someone…

@sassypolitico.bsky.social @kyledchurch.bsky.social If you guys know any independent reporters that want to do a story of the surveillance in Kainga ora housing I'd really appreciate it. Please read the thread

The first thing the tiny hobbit said to me this morning when I got him up was: What should we do today? Bro why are you speaking grammatically correct full sentences with 5 words? What the hellyonce?!

Every single day I wake up and I’m like “what’s happening? Am I dead? Is this my wake? Am I in hell?” because there’s literally only bad things happening now. Someone truly horrible needs to die soon I swear to god we need something joyful to happen soon or we will all go mad.

All the people trying to educate me about voter suppression like I was born yesterday 🙄 take your arguments to the weird right wingers pls I know how things work do y’all think I have 3 brain cells why do you even follow me.

This weird obsession right wingers have about how long it takes to count votes in NZ is so weird man what difference does it make? We are globally insignificant our election results don’t move the markets. You got something important to do that hinges on election results just go live your life 🙄

In my head I pronounce bluesky like brewski and I accidentally said it out loud to someone and they looked at me like I had lost my goddamned mind

I’m unsure if the Muslim community asked for this so apologies in advance but I truly don’t get the obsession with not naming the chch terrorist when every other terrorist gets named. I find it dumb sorry.

Kind of weird to illustrate this using a hacker-like figure as opposed to, say, a photo of Shane Jones

The Canadians, unsurprisingly, are being completely unhinged on tik tok about their Bad Bunny shoutout 😂

A reminder for $2.7b you could put solar and batteries into every home in Aotearoa with enough money left over to put solar and batteries into every factory in South Auckland. Now that is called an investment.

Not a single thing we were told about #COVID turned out to be correct. A long thread 🧵

I did something high risk on Sunday so I took a surveillance Covid test tonight just in case anyway I would 100% rather get a Pap smear than do this dear lord.

About 45% of gas produced in this country goes to Methanex, the Canadian multinational. Fonterra is another significant gas user. Just in case you are wondering who stands to benefit most from the planned LNG plant which is to be paid for by me, thee and every other individual user of power.

Classic lamia opinion: it should have been Pitbull instead of Lady Gaga

Fact: The only person to ever make the name “Canada” sound sexy is Bad Bunny.

Reasons why RNZ will never have me back on: -said landlords being MPs was a conflict of interest -called ACT a far right political party -declined to gossip and speculate about Golriz

oversize vehicle levy

Me, buying pine nuts: I’VE MADE IT! I’m rich!! Billionaires murdering people, destroying the earth’s ecosystems, and also eating people: Same!!!

Emissions levy?

Capital gains Levy

This is just to say I have dumped into the south cost the poo that was untreated and which you were probably reserving for the marine creatures Forgive me I hate 3 waters It was pro māori So I was told

Time for a wealth levy it’s not a tax it’s fine don’t worry about it

I like how the Nats are constantly accusing Labour of putting up taxes and then putting up taxes themselves! And of course no one cares.

WTAF?! I don’t want to pay for this. I don’t want to contribute to climate change. We don’t need LNG. We need more renewables and battery storage. This makes me so mad, I cannot describe how stupid & short sighted it is because I will just end up rage-ranting. www.stuff.co.nz/nz-news/3609...

Why do all the people like my tiny pathetic tomato 😭🥹

A marine biologist says the Moa Point sewage spill could be a massive ecological disaster that would take many years to reverse. Millions of liters of raw sewage now pour into the sea, following a catastrophic sewage treatment plant failure in NZ’s capital city. www.thepost.co.nz/politics/360...

Please take a look at this tiny useless tomato that I, a notorious plant killer, grew. Thank you.

Authorities say that steps are being taken to contain the virus and that a risk of global spread remains low.

This is why labour laws are important

Is there anyway we can harness the energy of 2 year olds right before bedtime to run the world? I guess it would be child labour but lord it feels like the energy of a thousand suns.

people are either unemployed, underemployed (not making enough to meet the cost of living), or living in fear of being laid off/losing their jobs and the noise is birth rates, AI, and billionaires complaining about something or other NON STOP. It’s ridiculous.

Not tik tok showing me this amazing waterpark that’s opened in Wellington only for me to check the caption closely and it’s Wellington, Florida 🥴

Had the most wonderful dining experience at Khao Soi today. The people were so lovely and so accommodating of us with a toddler. Food was really good and the tiny hobbit gobbled it up too. We chatted with a family next to us randomly. Outdoor seating. Just like 10/10 felt like old days for a sec.

When I went to the Hamilton gardens last month I bought a couple of postcards at the gift shop and I sent one to my bff in London and one my my mum in America. They both were so happy to get them! Send postcards to your people. People love it! It’s a cute surprise and the world needs more of this.

The royal family are disgusting for real and I hate them. And the fact that they are our head of state too. Yuck.

Do not understand this 4 episodes at a time malarkey with Bridgerton. So annoying I know it’s some kind of dumb money making scheme but it’s a dumb experience.

The GBM walking in on me and the tiny hobbit chatting: Me: can you say FRESH POO IN THE BAY? Tiny hobbit: FESH POO EHHHH BAY Me: yeah!!! Yay 👏🏽 The GBM: *shakes head*

The more I think about it, if we *must* have a parliament, then a Māori Upper House would be a good shout. That would be actual te Tiriti Partnership.

Met the lovely @captcaffiend.bsky.social today and unfortunately ranted at her in real life like I do with all of you on here. No one is safe from rants 😅😂

Good luck with that I’m sure it will help 🙄

Every once in a while I think about one of Colm’s stories (from Derry Girls) and it immediately lowers my blood pressure and brings zen to my soul.

I dunno if prison conditions were terrible, I’d be more inclined to plead not guilty cause I wouldn’t want to be there. The motherfucker pleaded guilty cause he wanted to be a hero for mass killing Muslims and is finding out the hard way that no one gives a flying fuck about him.

Elon Musk tweeting money doesn’t buy happiness is so funny bro give it away then. A billion dollars might not bring happiness but $250k definitely would. They aren’t happy cause they aren’t the only ones happy. They aren’t happy cause too many people can go for walks, take vacations, and buy food.

The idea that the Clintons are gonna throw all these rich and powerful people under the bus is a fantasy IMO.