Trump Join The DSA challenge

I'm afraid everyone is going to find out I don't actually have Impostor Syndrome.

time to apply

what didn’t kill me made me annoying

[Catfighting] 1) DON'T FIGHT A CAT 2) USE YOUR BRAIN 3) USE DRUGS

Crazy that Cloudflare went down because several of their lava lamp bulbs burnt out at the same time #fakenews

I only watch Shōben anime

Reactionaries have done a lot of reprehensible things lately But giving Marjorie Taylor Greene a sexy alt lesbian AI makeover has to be among the worst so far

Whenever one of these backbone services goes down there's always a fedi post about how it didn't affect us here on our digital tincan and string network of treehouses And then there's inevitably a reply guy going "just you wait until Hetzner goes down" My brother in piss, if Hetzner goes down […]

Most people think Jorts dot Horse started in late 2018 but that's not exactly true It all began back in April 20th 1969 when Rezubian Horse Stables merged with Shōben Jorts Manufacturing Concern It took them nearly half a century to eventually realize the big money was in shitposting Their […]

Can we just pick one day out of the year for all of the centralized services the internet unfortunately relies on to fail at once?

Pronouncing polycules like Hercules just to feel something

Driving towards the border with a Mexican cow in the backseat Propped up and dressed in American flag pants, a bald eagle shirt, and a MAGA hat Me: "Look, I got you some quality forged documents so just act cool okay?" Cow: "Mu" Me: "Fuck"

If Karl Marx were alive today he would be a chaser

pissing on portuguese man o' wars to assert dominance

Hold up

[Trump Epstein Earnest Ramble] Proof of Trump being a rapist isn't going to change the minds of the MAGAs Expecting it to will disappoint you and eat at your sanity There could be clear video of him going "LOOK AT ME, I'M IAN WATKINS!" and his camp will claim the toddler was asking for it […]

DIY HRT by regularly consuming just the right types of micro plastics

on bluesky there has been controversy over someone getting suspended over saying that they want to throw someone else into a wood chipper. that's why here on the fediverse we are adding a button that throws people into a woodchipper

The puppygirl in your phone is real and is trapped inside. Smash your screen to set her free. #feditips

Hiring a polling firm to call up a representative sample of Americans during dinner time and ask them which Looney Tunes character would most likely have been an Epstein client

Do not follow me if you're unwilling to name your next child Florbus

Steam Machine or something idk

I’m sure there are perfectly innocent reasons why Donald Trump would spend several hours alone with an underage girl in Pedophile Mansion.

Okay, but hear me out, what if we produce an entire generation of students who are *all* the ones who did nothing in the group project?

Urgent: Please call your local representative's office and tell the staffer _"seven days"_ in a creepy voice

Saw Aurora and I don't get what all the fuss is about, to be honest

MTA TRANSGENDER?

When it comes to "And this surprises you?" style reply guys, I'm a centrist I do think it's annoyingly overused But I also think there's times, like now, where its use is appropriate That's why I think every American should get one "And this surprises you?" a year to use as they see fit But […]

We can't stop here This is cow tools country

Was gonna shitpost about a collaborative infinite year mortgage You and 365 other people can purchase your own house, for one day a year Just put in a down payment then only pay a small monthly cost for the rest of your life and the lives of all your offspring, into perpetuity Anyways yes I […]

Everyone has a Price Mine is Vincent He narrates my steady descent into madness Only I can hear him

_In my restless dreams,_ _I see that town._ _Noisy Valley_

You're a horror fan because you like blood and gore I'm a horror fan because I like two hour long films about a single person being slowly driven insane We are not the same

Happy Circulatory System Walking Through The Kitchen Day to those who celebrate

The rumors about me taking money for appearing at the Riyadh shitposting festival are blatantly false

women can do anything . jus like the gizmondo ..... i bet women can take 0.3 megapixel photos, sms text on 2G and play wmv videos

Scientists have discovered that it is possible to just do something, without making a podcast about it

I don't know anything about Gary Larson's personal life or even what he looks like But in my mind he's a PG version of Hunter S Thompson

He's a ten but he repeats YIMBY propaganda about rent control

Good morning

The bizarro world Ogdo would be called the Odgo All the content would be exactly the same