pretty unfortunate that this person’s name has all the letters of “shit hole” in close succession of each other and now that’s all i wanna call them

being a descendant of colonized people, i’m 100000% for decolonization, but if “decolonize your table etiquette” means my autistic ass gets to listen to you eat loudly with your mouth wide open and then have particles of your fucking fish sticks fly into my eye, then no, keep them table manners […]

horts jorse made me more :100_gay:

i have a lot of pins but this one is my favorite and indeed the season for holding your mug with two hands

*ludacris voice* maaah peee-nassss

new shirt, viva chicago

usa wants us to commemorate charlie kirk today so happy dead nazi christofascist day

every maga man views themselves as maximus in the movie gladiator as everyone is chanting his name lol nah bitch you’re one of the extras that pees on himself at the gate then dies first

recalling my teens being invited to catholic get-togethers, then walking around the house eating pork rinds and saying “body of christ, amen” before eating one. i stopped getting invited to them after a while. too bad because the pork rinds were fire

imagine thinking you defeated all of mesoamerica due to military might when really all you did was spread your germs with your stinky ass body you weren’t powerful you were just filthy

whatever crystalball colon you didn’t discover shit you were just lost

🎶 the hills are alive with the sound of ur mom

such beautiful weather. i love the fall. of empires.

🦶

“last name, first name” me: 🌮, 🚽

:bloody_f: :bloody_i: :bloody_n: :bloody_d: :bloody_a: :bloody_r: :bloody_o: :bloody_u: :bloody_n: :bloody_d: :bloody_a: :bloody_n: :bloody_d: :bloody_f: :bloody_u: :bloody_c: :bloody_k: :bloody_o: :bloody_u: :bloody_t:

hey horts jorse

“dinna fash, sassenach, for i ken you fancy my wee bonnie 🐔” — every episode of outlander

nobel :bloody_p: :bloody_i: :bloody_s: :bloody_s: prize

the old school chicagoan urge to say “alla yuzz” instead of “all of you”

first day of italian class we conjugated boopity boppity

hope you have a great colonizer weekend

las vegas sun editorial called trump a “communist” lmaooo ok it’s almost like we need to invent buildings that we go inside of in order to learn meanings of words and other things. or is that too “communist?”

:bloody_y: :bloody_o: :bloody_u: :bloody_d: :bloody_i: :bloody_e: :bloody_d: :angry_laugh:​:angry_laugh:​:angry_laugh:​

my favorite season is :bloody_a: :bloody_u: :bloody_t: :bloody_i: :bloody_s: :bloody_m:

good morning my mfs, mfettes, and fellow mfxs 🫶

rip wesley willis

so many ppl saying bad things on bluesky about mastodon and i laugh and laugh bc clearly they haven’t heard of the horse with the jorts

:bloody_c: ops :bloody_r: uin :bloody_e: verything :bloody_a: round :bloody_m: e

so, non-tech person here. is there a messaging app that's more secure than texting, whatsapp, signal, telegram, etc? or maybe something on a laptop? at this point im willing to go pre-internet and meet face to face with mfs to say important stuff lol

all i ask is to just wait till all of us anti-maga get to a safe place before we kill the u.s. dollar ok

@Myst01 that archery shot if you: 🔥🔥🔥🔥

love my home feed but when you click that local jorts feed it’s magical ✨✨✨

My _"The Fediverse sucks but is still miles better than any for profit social media platform"_ T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by the shirt

oooh yeah baybeh give it to mehhh (me, when ur mom offers me more rice for my chicken adobo)

“still punk as fuck” as i stir my metamucil and fire up my cpap machine

yabba dabba do or yabba dabba do not, there is no yabba dabba try

singing “i’ve got ur mom on my thing” to the sinatra tune “ive got the world on a string”

if shrimps is bugs and shrimps is dicks then dicks is bugs

lady at the bus stop is arguing with herself i hope she wins

"low-information voters" is my favorite euphemism rn

"you should engage in conversations with right wing people" lol what in the "hug everyone till morale improves" bullshit are you on about there shipmate

best tattoo i've seen in a while is a tramp stamp in courier new font that says "unforgettable hoe"

just yelling from the top of the mountain here, but i’m pretty fucking tired of non-chicagoans thinking they got an opinion on the ICE/national guard situation. no one’s showing the atrocities on mainstream media because they’ve manufactured consent to do this to my city for years. yes we are […]

inside of u there are two 🐔s

watching outlander again and i’m reminded that the entire show is just jamie saying “aye, sassenach. i dinna ken what you mean, but here’s my 🐔”

sports parents wearing shirts like “my kid is a(n) ______ athlete” makes me want a shirt that says “fuck you and your kid” :angry_laugh:

holy shit. being around rich private school sports parents is bad, guys. very, very bad.

ugh never mind i can never word my jokes correctly

mmmm SoCo on the rocks literally all i drank in my 20s