The FBI says there was insufficient evidence to charge Tom Homan with bribery because in the video of undercover agents handing him a bag of cash he did not say “Thank you for this bribe.”

Border Czar Tom Homan, deeply embarrassed by the revelation of his bribery scandal, announces that henceforth his going rate will be twice as much: “I was criminally undercharging.”

Tom Homan is now officially qualified to join the Cabinet.

President Trump doling out mortgage fraud charges:

Comedy is illegal again.

The best way to get people to stop calling you a fascist is to amp up being a fascist.

"America is the hottest country anywhere in the world." Well yes, that is the consequence of the country going to Hell.

RIP Charlie Kirk you would have liked sensible gun control measures.

President Trump issues statement condemning political violence against Republicans.

Breaking: President Trump plans to recognize the anniversary of 9/11 by launching a surprise attack on an American city.

The emperor has no clothes, and Republicans have declared that that's the hot new look for the season.

House Speaker Mike Johnson says he and his son are FBI informants when they watch porn.

Eric Adams announces he is staying in the NYC mayoral race, pleasing his supporter.

Breaking: White smoke above the White House indicates that a new fascist has been selected.

JD Vance: “If God forbid someone has suffocated the President while he slept and made it appear like he died of natural causes, I can't think of better on-the-job training than what I've gotten over the last 200 days.”

In honor of Ashli Babbitt, during her funeral the U.S. Air Force will strafe the U.S. Capitol. https://thehill.com/policy/defense/5474030-air-force-to-provide-funeral-honors-to-ashli-babbitt/

Sandwich Thrower Felony Charge Thrown Out by Grand Jury

“America’s favorite logo” to return, ushering in a new age of peace and prosperity. https://apnews.com/article/cracker-barrel-logo-trump-8b496da282deef3d8d0618c3f9f4db46

I wish the future Mr. and Mrs. Swift the best of luck.

Breaking: Andrew Cuomo launches his own scavenger hunt, which will have participants visit the various locations around New York City at which he sexually assaulted women.

Ghislaine Maxwell must have been sneezing a lot at the end of her interview because she kept saying “pardon me.”

Breaking: The Department of Justice turns over to the House Oversight Committee the Epstein document that does not mention President Trump.

Breaking: President Trump announces that the most equitable way to approach the Ukraine land swap is for Ukraine to divide the country into two parts and have Russia decide which one it wants.

Breaking: RFK Jr. rules out 2028 presidential bid, satisfied with the number of people he can kill in his current role. https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2025/08/15/rfk-trump-president-2028/

To distract from President Trump’s humiliation at the Alaska summit with Putin perhaps Trump should agree to release the Epstein files.

When you haven’t seen your best friend in forever.

80's AI girlfriend

My AI boyfriend is a beta.

Breaking: Ramping up federal control of Washington DC, the Department of Justice has dispatched over 100 Epstein File clerks to assist with police efforts.

Breaking: President Trump federalizes the town of West Tisbury on Martha’s Vineyard to ensure the continuation of pierogi service to Alan Dershowitz.

“Driving to the golf course I was offended by the sight of homeless people and so have ordered their removal from the city” should honestly be getting more play.

Washington DC should change the tagline on its license plates from “No Taxation Without Representation” to “Release the Epstein Files.”

"Violent crime is up in Washington, DC" says man who pardoned the largest group in history that committed violent crimes in Washington, DC.

If the National Guard and FBI wants to reduce crime in DC there’s a child sex ring participant on the loose I can tell them about.

Breaking: GPT-5 files the necessary paperwork to register as a 2028 candidate for U.S. president.

President Trump: “Jeffrey Epstein seemed like a totally normal guy to me.” Me, entering Jeffrey Epstein’s residence: “What the fuckity fuck.” https://www.nytimes.com/2025/08/05/us/jeffrey-epstein-mansion-photos.html

Donald Trump was planted in the Epstein files by Jeffrey Epstein when he was writing down all of the fucked up things that Donald Trump did.

Trump: “I never should have said ‘I never had the privilege of going to his island.’ What I should have said is ‘I really, really wanted to go to my friend Jeffrey’s island because I bet it would have been even better than when he brought girls to me at Mar-a-Lago but he never invited me.’”

Preventing cancer is woke. https://www.wsj.com/health/healthcare/rfk-health-screening-panel-members-c308cbb0?st=VLq3Vf

Breaking: Hulk Hogan sent ahead to tell Jeffrey Epstein to reserve a seat next to him for President Trump.

Pretty devious of Ghislaine Maxwell in 2003 to plant a fake letter from Donald Trump in a leather-bound album of letters from Epstein friends, an album made by a bookbinder who in 2003 acknowledged Epstein as a client, knowing that the fake letter would be used against Trump in 2025. Devious indeed.

Trump's approval rating on his handling of the Epstein files is net -42%, by far the worst issue of his presidency other than Trump’s approval rating on his handling of young girls.

Maybe the guy who told subordinates to say “fuck you” to judges and now wants to be a judge should be told to go fuck himself.

Man who spends time with a prominent member of a child sex ring warns others about who to associate with. https://www.mediaite.com/politics/senator-tuberville-tells-u-s-citizens-swept-up-in-immigration-raids-dont-hang-around-illegals/

Breaking: Trump administration says it is ending deployment of 2,000 National Guard troops in Los Angeles, will redeploy troops to Washington, DC to guard the Epstein files.

Breaking: As a trusted intermediary between the DoJ and MAGA Matt Gaetz offers to review the Epstein files, "especially the video evidence."

Breaking: The Supreme Court provides the Trump Administration with a stack of pre-signed, blank orders.

With the MAGA movement roiled by dissension over the Epstein files, President Trump floats him and his remaining followers relocating to the new Trumptown settlement in Guyana.

Indiana Jones and the Files of Epstein.