One time in university I got blitzed on St. Patrick’s Day and threw up on the dance floor into a pitcher of green beer that was being held by my friend‘s hot roommate, and it was still less embarrassing than whatever Poilievre is doing here:

1/2. He took the greatest military force in history, lost a war to a middle power in a week, begged the world to save him, & demanded the media lie about this & everything else. I try, but at a simple human level I do not see how anyone mistakes this man’s almost supernatural weakness for strength.

FBI Agents Watch In Silence As Kash Patel Gets Ass Kicked By UFC Fighter https://theonion.com/fbi-agents-watch-in-silence-as-kash-patel-gets-ass-kicked-by-ufc-fighter/

Surely this glued-together monstrosity that can't haul loads or drive up hills will fare better in active combat.

To listen in on the next Hulu earnings call and hear this development exec justify himself for deliberately antagonizing a beloved genre star who clearly has zero compunctions about calling him out publicly.

Remember: any time politicians say "the economy is doing well" they mean stocks and assets, not your consumer butt

News In Photo:

Trump to allies: “Which of you fucking losers wants to secure the Strait of Hormuz?”

Selfishly I’m relieved, as the teen horror script my reps are currently shopping was almost certain to be scooped by a new-Buffy episode. Still, I really woulda loved to watch that reboot, and I also can’t imagine the quality not being there given Gellar and Zhao.

Iran has unveiled their new Nepo-Ayatollah! Luke, Ian, @clareblackwood.bsky.social and @mmmegan.bsky.social dig into his thirst traps.

Sam Altman makes a pretty compelling case for nationalizing OpenAI.

"You're the richest man in the world but it's impossible to find a group of 12 people who don't hate you" is like a Biblical curse.

The military personnel were found on sites including No-JDate, OKKKCupid, and Plenty Of Fash

Not sure if this is a joke for anybody but me, but here we are.

NS budget shortfalls force Tim Houston to eliminate ocean

This conversation with Reza Aslan was one of the most illuminating and comprehensive explainers on Iran I've heard - namely their political structure, and particularly how the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps runs the country. Worth a listen.

FT comments section this morning - saying what everyone else is thinking, right?

Surely nothing bad has ever happened when a critical mass of the population feel that their future has been ripped out from under them and that the only thing they have to look forward to is the steady erosion of their standard of living. Surely that always turns out fine.

Carney puts rules-based international order sign back in window

Trump urges Americans to just remember whatever bullshit let them support Iraq War

Heated Rivalry fans unfamiliar with concept hockey players might be gross

Always fun to repost this old story about the actual high school I attended.

Come for the fun podcast with our first remote journalist guest! Stay for me revealing that I only remember "Wittgenstein" as a Simpsons reference, and don't actually know who the man is!

So this weekend TikTok removed our video about Elon Musk showing up in the Epstein files for "promoting misinformation", which we're sure has nothing at all to do with billionaire Trump megadonor Larry Ellison taking over control of TikTok's algorithm.

Billionaires who lobbied Trump to halt Canadian bridge praise EZ-Bribe App

Trump is actively making our goods more expensive by blocking a piece of key infrastructure - apparently all because his most Epstein-linked Cabinet Secretary conveyed a request from a billionaire GOP donor. America does not have to tolerate this kind of corruption.

JD Vance unable to discern booing at Winter Olympics from booing every other day of his life

Epstein is the most garish and harrowing manifestation of this but oligarchy makes life miserable in a thousand other ways. A core point of democracy is that no one should have so much power that they can make themselves everybody's problem. We should have a political party that believes that

It's me, I just shovelled out ice under our car.

Couples pregnancy app carefully dumbs down information sent to father

Really nuts how many men were like "Me Too went too far, and I need to email Jeffrey Epstein about it."

Amazon, Washington Post, the games industry - the goal of venture capital is to capture and eliminate vast employment sectors to hoard shareholder profits. Once everything is rubble, they'll force us all to "make do" with inferior AI versions of everything we used to take for granted.

worth noting that the second rich people stopped being afraid of mobs tearing them limb from limb, they stopped building libraries and opera houses and stuff and started ripping the copper wiring out of the walls of society instead

Not gonna lie, this put a smile on my face.

I have never said this out loud unironically… but this thing has somehow actually destroyed my childhood.

Report: Even Grok grossed out by how much Elon Musk is in Epstein Files

Translated "it's fine if they're slaves or indentured servants"

This is a really nice sentiment, but I cannot think of a better time for Canada to invest MORE in our film/TV sector. We’ve shown we can make international hits for a fraction of US budgets, but that’s not the hard part…

every epstein file drop underscores how elite power operates through shared socio-economic networks, regardless of people's ideological differences, populist posturing, or public feuds

This popped up in my Discover tab and I was curious what the business was and is it weird to say that this is the first time I’ve thought “America might turn out alright?”

Movie review from Guardian on Melania.

I see a lot of people dunking on various Trump-aligned failure projects: The Melania doc; Musk's Tesla and Twitter; Bari Weiss' 60 Minutes; AI in general. And sure, those things suck and we should mock them. But the thing is - they're not designed to succeed as projects.

Just finished this and it 100% sticks the landing. Kingsley and Abdul-Mateen are maybe the most charming duo act Marvel has ever put on screen. The ending is perfect, and now I gotta go watch Midnight Cowboy.

"If we have to hunt you down, the way they hunted down Nazis for decades, we will find your identities. We will find you. We will achieve justice."

Report: Craziest politician in America makes excellent suggestion

Watched the first 3 eps of Wonder Man tonight, and it’s my favorite Marvel thing in a minute. It’s giving dryly hilarious FX series about Hollywood struggles that only occasionally mentions superpowers. Also reminds me a bit of Slings & Arrows (a huge compliment).

So now Trump and Michael Jackson have two things in common.

I think we can all agree that a government agency executing two lawfully-abiding citizens live on camera is too much. Luke, Ian, and @clareblackwood.bsky.social debate whether to abolish ICE, or abolish it and salt the earth. (posting the TikTok link to see if this gets taken down)