The best & most cost efficient way to solve the illegal immigration problem is fining employers & landlords to the point it's no longer profitable to house and employ them, but then we'd have to admit how much of our economy runs on cheap undocumented labor. So we treat the symptom, not the cause.

If democrats are not matching their potential voters’ anger, they’re not making them feel seen. It’s the one thing Trump was politically good at on day one.

The only good thing about ICE Is that future video games/movies will have new bad guy characters we can kill en masse without guilt.

Non-protesting dad just trying to hustle his kids, as young as 6mo, out of the neighborhood. ICE threw a flash-bang INTO HIS car, all 6 kids in the hospital now. If anyone wondered how things turn against occupying armies there's a case study playing out in front of you.

Hey Edmonton, the Beaverton is coming to YOU! We're doing a LIVE SHOW as part of @winterruptionyeg.com Saturday January 24th! We'll have newsdesk jokes plus a live podcast taping with a SPECIAL SURPRISE GUEST! Feat. Luke, Ian, and @clareblackwood.bsky.social! Tickets going fast!

I will stop talking about Heated Rivalry, but one of the reasons it has become such a big thing is this is the way Hollywood is supposed to work! Two actors working as waiters who get a shot and made the most of it and now are going to be stars! It feels like that never happens anymore.

These aren't normal times for politics, but even if they were, it's so clear that Democrats either don't know how to do politics or don't want to. Their position on the board is "the president is hated and his goon forces are despised" and they seem at wit's end how to message from that position.

White House insists ICE shooter had passed mandatory escalation training

filed under “headlines you hear being read off in a chipper voice in an abandoned bunker in a Fallout game”

I just found out last night that the $50k enrollment bonus only pays out after 5 years of service, and reader, the laugh I let out when I read that woke the dog from across the house. These absolute fucking grapes aren't seeing a dime of that money. No way they can ride out 5 years of this job.

This looks like the bad guy in an early Cronenberg movie telling America they gotta start eating bugs

Furious Trump demands to know why Minneapolis shooting hasn’t sparked civil war yet

-We’re finally giving Canadians what they want -More affordability? -Not that -Cheaper housing? -Or that -High speed rail? -You know how crime rates have been falling for years? Well what if… they weren’t?

Best TikTok thing going is the two dudes trying food from every country without leaving NYC. If you haven’t seen them yet, it’s incredible. My favorite so far is last week’s. Legit got me emotional.

I'm guessing ICE agents don't understand how the Trump Admin views them as disposable canon fodder who they hope get killed in order to justify harsher state violence crackdowns - if they understood that, they'd be overqualified to be ICE agents.

The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.

this is small comfort given he has state power and i don’t but i am struck by what an obviously weak and fragile man miller is. a blubbering piss baby whose entire affect and personality is an attempt to make up for his profound feelings of inadequacy

Trump has spent all year either checked out or sundowning while Stephen Miller has been directing most White House policy, so it’s likely this very real plan was overheard by Katie from the pit he keeps her in.

I’ve been very hard on Rubio, which he deserves because he sucks, but it appears that he has eaten shit all year to maneuver into a position to trick Trump into letting him invade Venezuela in order to get personal revenge on Cuba. That‘s quality villainy.

2026 is already an exhausting tire fire. Here's my favourite movies I saw for the first time in 2025 (no particular order):

Poilievre lights emergency flares to beg Trump to invade Canada

Mark Carney turns off geolocation on phone just in case

88% of Canadians want a wealth tax. Funny how that public concern never gets a response.

Breaking:

Yeah, this dum dum is talking about chicken pox. Anyway, it's very cool and awesome that he has so much cultural and political influence.

This has been the autocrat’s playbook for a decade or two: have friendly oligarchs buy up independent media and then they impose government-friendly editorial policies so the autocrat doesn’t have to get their hand directly dirty killing the free press.

Carney, Zelensky meet in Halifax to boost Ukraine defence by enlisting Barrett’s Privateers

“This is totally the World Juniors” says woman trying to trick her boyfriend into watching Heated Rivalry

The person on staff at CBS News who could have warned Bari Weiss about this got fired a few months ago because they weren’t white

American media’s cowardice no match for Canadian media’s incompetence

News In Photo:

Canadian economy rallies as #1 export now Heated Rivalry

A while back I got to speak to @grahamisador.bsky.social at the Globe & Mail about that time a @thebeaverton.com article got accidentally quoted by Time. Here's that!!

“Am I invading Venezuela for oil or to distract from Epstein?” Trump asks coatrack

Words escape me.

“Hello, Child Protective Services…”

It's time for us to admit that food trucks are not equipped for events. They work well parked out on the street when people can walk by and order throughout the day, but they are not suited for big crowds. They don't have the capacity. We've been waiting 30 minutes in the cold for fries

One upside to Canada's tech stagnation over the last couple decades is that our government isn't infested with psychopathic AI billionaires who aim to control our daily lives.

I can’t get over how Barbie succeeded because it offered tangible ways for women and girls to celebrate each other (and dress up and go to the movies together) but studios thought it worked because it’s about toys so now they’re making like Bananagrams the movie

IMO, the "male loneliness epidemic" is a confluence of a lot of things (mostly late stage capitalism). But a big piece is prior generations of men didn't need to try very hard to have a comfortable middle class life. Now it's much harder, but a lot of guys are being left adrift to figure it out.

But wait a second, the only way this would automatically spit out porn is if that’s what everyone who claims it’s for productivity was secretly using it for

It’s not just bribes, but favours. For years a lot of America’s shadiest millionaires are gonna “owe one“ to the Trump family.

Yes, that "John A. MacDonald Memorial Shot Glass" is 16oz.

OPINION: The AI Crash will all be worth it if I just get to lay just a few thousand people off

This is actually quite brilliant, up to and including the final sentence 🔥

Our pretend facts are just as good as the real thing. If not better.

RIP Tom Stoppard, a true genius who could write both iconic artistic masterworks (Rosencrantz, Arcadia) and enduring pop entertainment (Last Crusade). My favourite Stoppard will forever be On The Razzle, a lesser known adaptation of a 19th century German farce. Back in theatre school...

The Beaverton speaks with CBC News about how Time Magazine mistook a fake quote for real facts!