listening to This Heat and thinking every thirty seconds, “that’s a cool sound; someone should try putting it in a good song”

installing a chess clock in the bedroom to prove a point that’s made irrelevant by the fact that you never fuck me again, even a tiny bit

Girls just want to eat & be eaten

incredible recommendations

[slicking back hair] so is there a MRS mime? MR. MIME [disgusted]: mister mime

SCORPION: take me across the river FROG: if I do that, you'll sting me S: if I sting you, we'll both drown F: ok, that makes sense *halfway across the river* F: so? S: so what? F: sting me S: what? F: sting me, like you promised S: no F: sting me so we'll both drown S: *crying* what is happening?

THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT (2004) was a sci-fi movie that dared to ask the question: what if ashton kutcher could read

can all my mutuals switch to apple music rq? when you post a YouTube link I can't do anything else while I listennnnnn

never fall asleep first at boys’ night

well i’m not into guys, but i want to get fucked by you i wanna try out dudes, because you seem so chill

lavender one-night stand

suicidal ideation is an intelligence indicator

i eat a fruit-dense diet and have naturally glucose-rich B+ type blood, btw

oral phlebotomist near me

my insurance doesn’t cover bloodletting even though my humors need it

0-10, you feel detached from your behavior as you “go through the motions” of daily life FOOOOOOOOUR TY FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS

where are my girls and pups at tonight?

i’d just pay what the pricemaster tells me, but i take this money shit less seriously than y’all

in retrospect it's incredibly funny how pretty much every trans person I know tried to reassure the people around them that they were still the same person and nothing was going to change outside of their genders early transition only to end up completely unrecognizable a few years in

sorry for bleeding out all over your living room floor do you still want to kiss me

eepmoder

yeah your mom calls me and my boy the super smash bros. calls us master hand snd crazy hand. calls us uhhhh fuckin metsl msrio and regular mario. i’m the metal one btw

sick rips

://3 love uuuu @snuff-stunt-double.bsky.social art by @spookyfoxinc.com 💜💜

i just held the constitution under a uv light and it says you gotta make out with me

1-1 with vanilla UB tempo in the rcq. beat Elementals and lost to Hidetsugu's Second Rite 😄

hallmark should have exactly one card for girlfriend’s husband so i can buy the same one for every occasion

my body? a weapon. my mind? a weapon. my 32” damascus steel wakizashi? heh.. that’s a toy.

fuck fuck fucj i’m running out of time

i would like to extend my best wishes to all, even the haters and losers, on this special date, february 14th.

wife and i like to pick a porno out for each other and then swap laptops

Momir is just this tweet in video game form

perfect bait post for bsky girls to chime in by tagging their cuck girlfriends in response. godspeed u freaky gals

picture of yourebein gay, and it’s about a painting that fucks men so you can court women without all the nagging, intrusive thoughts

if these eight (and counting?) Starry Cat singles become an album, it’ll be my aoty

that’s one hell of a system

i coast faster than these guys skate. maybe we are better at sports

THURSDAY ZOOMIES

genuis dot com kokomo beach boys meaning explained

hey girl, wanna come over and listen to four hours of lex walton demos, covers, and side projects?

gonna turn this housewrecker into a homewrecker

No son, they are not "magically delicious." The workers made them delicious. This is a slogan meant to mystify the social conditions of labor

working on accumulating enough social capital to start an interview series for non-celebrities so i can spend an hour with a het man of Montreal fan and figure out what his whole deal is