Okay this isn’t really happening anymore so I can tell you how l had “internal ICE sources”: the 3000 very stir-crazy ICE agents were all going wild on Minneapolis Tinder. Local girls would match with them and string them along for intel. They loved to brag about what they were doing all day

Take a moment to remember how weird it is our president communicates with us through a bottom-tier social media site called Truth Social. It’s like if he governed from the comment section of a porn site.

The Great God-King Negotiator fucked us all. Great job!

Imagine watching this if your own mayor is garbage. Or, if your city council and mayor are fighting.

“But there has to be a path to redemption for people like Louis CK..” Let me stop you right there: no there doesn’t. You made that up.

Once again i am BEGGING #gothcon26 pin-makers to do "cat dad" pins. Plenty of "cat mom" and "cat lady" pins but never any "cat dad". Anyway. Thread of initial purchases. Starting with my pin for today. (WARNING: Contains dice) /1

Fucker Has Nerve To Be 22 Years Old

if you try to ride a lime scooter around the tidal basin I get to push you in, those are the rules

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DC should be a State.

Please donate if you can.

He looks mad. And like he can’t stand up. And like he has no neck. And he never combed his hair like that. Not even when he still had most of it.

Other men are weird.

This guy thinks everyone gets mogged by the fat guy with a combover, lifts, bronzer and makeup on his bruises.

What the fuck?

Fucking pigs. I had a teacher in college that slept with my ex. I often wondered if he had any concept of the damage he had done. He was known to be “dating” students. “They’re all adults”, 🤨. Class of 2002.

shoutout to @underalls.bsky.social for getting me into Twin Peaks after having not seen it ever despite being on this wretched earth for centuries. immediately hooked. downloaded Julee Cruise songs. just really good shit. if you haven’t seen it either, DO IT NOW AND THANK HER TOO I HAVE SPOKEN

Why is it all so dumb?

Motherfucker was more mad about the commercials than the sex jet.

It’s a tactic. I’m sure it’s trained and coached. If they say that they were rammed, they were not.

MPD are criminals.

The entire world is deeply involved in a vanity project for one old man that knows he’s dying.

It's wild that that quote gets even worse after the "I guess."

Jacobs: The Trump administration doesn’t give a shit about the Iranian people… They are literally deporting people back to Iran who fled the brutal Iranian regime. He doesn’t care about human rights anywhere — not here in the United States, not in Iran, not anywhere else.

Sorry I know the world is in a terrible fix but I've been laughing at this for ten minutes now

Yup. It’s the same story. This came out years ago, I read it in a publication, but I can no longer remember which one. When I tried to search for it a few days later it was gone.

The Alibi club in DC is wide open right now.

I wonder why it’s that way in CHINA.😬

This is fucking sick. Get the fuck out of the military. These guys guy really believe there will be a rapture.

I wish people would have understood the Pompeo Evangelical rapture nonsense years ago. These guys will start wars to kick off the rapture. They really fucking believe this shit. When they start deporting Jewish people to Israel maybe we’ll finally wake up.

Just saw a commercial for “Republicans” and deportation where the president called “these people” “crazy”, speaking of Democrats. Seems like a weird approach to anything.

Operation Old Man Shaking His Cane at the Sky.

Fuck these genocidal fuck heads. Fucking clowns running’s military.

FUCK

democrats should internalize that this is what their colleagues think of them and act accordingly

After pointing at Democrats and saying they are "crazy," Trump says, "We’re lucky we have a country, with people like this. Democrats are destroying our country, but we stopped it, just in the nick of time." Just insanely destructive. Indefensible — but Republicans stood and clapped.

President Grandpa Word-A-Day learned affordability and thinks it’s a hoax. Imagine not knowing what “affordable” means. That’s honestly where he’s coming from.

The State of the “Union” seems to be divided.

Pay us all back now.

BREAKING: I read the new version of the “Save America Act” (S. 1383) so u don’t have to. Here’s my summary. Point 1 is new. It requires that all 50 states send their voter rolls to the DHS to run thru DHS’s faulty “SAVE” voter purge program. Points 6 & 7 are new too. Tell ur Senators #NoOnSAVE 1/

Jim Vandehei about to do his “I don’t understand it’s anti-American” schtick.

After Colbert leaves I’m not watching CBS.

The door of the Alibi Club in DC has been open in the last few weeks. Today I saw contractors coming out. #alibiclubdc

Xeni Jardin said all of this years ago. They were using female tech writers to spread their ideas.

I have a really hard time liking people. I expect people to be terrible even though I would like to find the decency in everyone. I cannot believe how inhumane and cruel other human beings can be. These bastards have obviously been fantasizing about punishing their neighbors.

⚠️ Rep. Thomas Massie: “I am not suicidal. I eat healthy food. The brakes on my car and truck are in good shape. I practice good trigger discipline and never point a gun at anyone, including myself. There are no deep pools of water on my farm and I'm a pretty good swimmer.”

Every young person sentence online reads like this to me now: "Bro entered low-stim flow state doing a 10 min grocery rotation and got mogged by a friendly neighborhood cat 💀 Is proximity-maxxing essentials while touch-grass-pilled more optimal than suburb-meta carbrained bulk errands?"

Why don’t we have this in the US? Is it gross?

NEWS: As expected, the Senate has approved a resolution repealing the D.C. tax decoupling bill, following the House's lead earlier this week. The Senate vote was 49-47, fully along party lines. There's a wrinkle, though...

Senate is currently voting on canceling DC laws that DC voted for. #dcstatehood