My favorite places for media that aren’t terrible streaming services: 1. LIBRARY. Seriously, you have access to more stuff than you think through your library card. At my library, you can get DVDs and have access to streaming services like Hoopla and Kanopy. See what your library offers!

I think about this from time to time.

No way could ChatGPT jerk off a bull to completion and then shoot it with a laser - @kathebooks.com

agriculture is the original sin

Me at the 9am software team standup meeting.

Fun how it's always "selfish" for cyclists to use roads if that might slow drivers somewhat but not selfish for drivers to make roads functionally unusable for cyclists.

Why yes, Mr Netanyahu. I TOTALLY agree with you. It IS really fucked up to strike a hospital.

The horn: $5k The fix: 5 cents

i cant ruin my sleep schedule if i dont have one in the first place

It all started going downhill when we found out you could just plant grain and it'd grow.

BREAKING: A federal judge ruled all transgender and intersex people can obtain passports that align with their gender identity while the case against President Trump's executive order proceeds. While this is good news, we will continue fighting until this executive order is blocked permanently.

Just paid $60 to have someone tell me what Instagram tells me for free: I need to practice my scales 🙃

This has got to be a sign that the wheels are really coming off

Love to work, hate to be an unwitting pawn of capital.

Looking for someone who pronounces "takis" with a short "i"

I bet my life would be way different if I just practiced my scales as much as my high school saxophone teacher told me to

Honestly all I wanna do is smoke half a joint and watch surfs up (2007)

The Onion does not use AI in any way. Our newspaper is proudly made by actual living people. AI makes bad, boring shit, and people make art. Subscribe to us instead: membership.theonion.com

It's been nine years since Elon Musk said that Teslas could "drive autonomously with greater safety than a person, right now". In that time Waymo has delivered over 10 million paid driverless rides, Tesla has not delivered a single one.

Can someone explain why people will voluntarily line up get on a plane ahead of other people? I'm tryna be last in line.

Watch this Tesla #FSD v13.2.9 fail to recognize a barrier, forcing the driver to disengage to avoid a crash. "The vehicle is not stopping at a horizontal gate which is exceptionally dangerous!" Elon Musk your defective software should be banned now. youtu.be/0zdzIeE37nc?...

ICYMI I play with Kelly Romo now

One shot at life and I had to get addicted to scrolling on my phone instead of something cool like heroin.

Babe don't go to school today it's autism inspection day.

Boys cum and go. Men ejaculate and evacuate.

I dont think id ever even heard of trans people until i was 21 or 22. When I was an undergrad at the university of Michigan, professors would leave old textbooks they wanted to get rid of outside their office, and students would grab them. That's how I ended up with this timeless gem.

Today at work we decided on 2 sets of the 2 genders -swan -worm on a string -coffee -energy drink

God I wish Kurt vonnegut was like my great uncle or something.

So president Trump is apparently an incredible golfer because he keeps winning these golf tourneys but I can't find official results about these things ANYWHERE. WHAT NUMBER DID HE SCORE????

I like every single one of @kathebooks.com's posts not out of obligation but instead because, in fact, they're all bangers.

It's important to have different piano sizes available.

lol

Guys did you know Chik Fil'a's full name is Chicken Fillet?

Whenever Google serves up a terrible GenAI result, I make sure to tell it that it did a good job.

Omg babe make a wish

🇺🇲 for all Americans who are ashamed: instead of saying sorry, just donate 1$, 5$ or 10$ to Ukrainian Foundations. like, any trusted one. literally any. your words are important, but it doesn't make a direct impact. #UkrainianView #StandWithUkraine my strong suggestion: savelife.in.ua/en/

Guys help. I lied and said I knew COBOL and now I'm writing financial code for the US treasury. Get ready for a hot q3 budget.

The biblical "tree of the knowledge of good and evil" was agriculture. I'll fight u.

Who up getting they beam split

@mkdit.to's response to finding 2 modelos in his fridge is only what I can describe as an erotic moan.

how far down the rabbithole the corporate erasure of trans-people goes: Clearly, Amazon Prime uses GPT for movie summaries,but someone has recently CHANGED THE GUIDELINES TO NEVER MENTION TRANSGENDER PLOTS OR CHARACTERS in summaries.The bank robbery was to pay for his lover's sex change operation.

Thinking that LLMs are intelligent is a lot like thinking that Shazam knows a lot about music.

Tired: "software engineers are cooked because AI is too useful" Wired: "software engineers are cooked because AI is useless but their employers bet multiple trillions of dollars on it not being useless"

What's that thing called where you wanna shut your eyes and then open them again and it's like 7 hours later

If any of you have had your passport seized for gender marker changes I can put you in touch with a lawyer willing to help

Good morning. Some morning reading for yall, Excerpt from pages 166-73 of They Thought They Were Free: The Germans, 1933-45 by Milton Mayer press.uchicago.edu/Misc/Chicago...