Happiest of birthdays to Stephen King, who kinda-sorta helped raise me, at a distance, & who I got to meet & thank in 2013. 10 year old me, with his key around his neck, reading CHRISTINE in an empty house, scared shitless by a haunted car, was screaming inside me the whole time.

I saw this on a Saturday in 1979, on channel 5 WNEW, and I was SO SCARED every moment the gargoyle was on screen. I was **such a wuss.**

🎶I'd walk a million miles 🎶for one of your smiiiiiiiiiles......

This floors me. I am older than all of them.

I'm only turning Disney+ & Hulu, & ESPN on after I see he's back on & not muzzled.

This psychotic fuck making my kid's autism a political football is gonna get me arrested in the future for what I am so willing to do.

I was raised fiercely proud to be Jewish, but culturally moreso than strict practice. On High Holidays, I'd skip school & my dad would take me to the movies & the arcade & to get bacon cheeseburgers & milkshakes. He'd say, "Josh, 2000 years of oppression have earned you a day of playing hookey."

43!

I think a lot about how incredulous Vincent Vega was about the existence of a FIVE DOLLAR MILKSHAKE at a lavishly themed restaurant with fully costumed celebrity-lookalike waitstaff and dance contests.

I judge ANYONE who actively uses Threads. It's like the fake social media app that they'd use on SVU.

GUYS, LITTLE MAN TATE IS 43. HE IS MIDDLE AGED MAN TATE.

cursed to carry this for the rest of my days

The tusked lizard-dragon is one of many predators living in Strangehollow, so be very careful if you decide to adventure in this vast forest! My book is now live on Kickstarter and you can find it here: buff.ly/MtZUyIc #kickstarter #artbook #dragon #watercolour #painting #aquarelle

🎶 I'm so off-label 🎶movies on cable & myths & fables 🎶 can't be able to define how I'm selling this coffee table

If I was s Starbuck's barista & one of these Kirk chucklefucks ordered that froofy mint tea & gave the name Charlie Kirk, I'd poke a hole with a pen on the side of cup & hold it with my thumb as I called back the name & handed it to him.

Jake Tapper is promoting his "fighting Al Quieda" novel, with the (I kid you not) Threat Level: Midnight style title RACE AGAINST TERROR. Please, go tell him what you think.

Wednesday would be a good day for an abductor to secretly abduct someone from an Evangelical family; they wouldn't go to the police or go looking for them themselves.

Technologically advance a band: Huey Lewis and the Newsfeed Ultrasoundgarden The Thompson Clones Satellite-radiohead OLED Zeppelin The Alan Parsons Manhattan Project

he must be defeated and his eventual grave must be a place where generations come to piss

My buddy.

*mournfully shooting off a tshirt cannon into the sadly cheering funeral crowd*

holy shit this guy is GOOD

A wonderful "Easter Egg" of SINNERS, which may be my 3rd favorite movie of all time (gotta sit on it for a bit) is the casting of Saul Williams as the preacher-father who would call the music sinful, & shackle it. He's a poet/rapper & this song of his could be the thesis of the movie:

🎯🎯🎯🎯

What movie do you consider "perfect"?

❤️❤️

she's SO talented. I

Time is a raging, raging river, my friends.

“We’re grateful to RFK Jr.—otherwise we might put something unnatural into our bodies, like vaccines.”

why is Trump wearing the tux version of the David Byrne "Once In A Lifetime" suit?

So glad I set my kinda normie nephew on a "fuck Charlie Kirk" path BEFORE this current moment. Hopefully it planted a seed and can counteract the social norms of his awful town as the hagiographies continue.

one of my all-time-favorites in the world

this exists it is called thinking

Mock me all you want call me a dude with the soul of a "basic-white-girl," I don't now & will never care: I EXULT IN THE GLORY OF THIS LIMITED TIME ONLY AT THE GROCERY STORE, and I am here for *all of it.*

it kinda makes his assassination seem like a favor from a time-traveler

When people say that cliche joke "that aged like fine milk," about some prediction that didn't pan out or something you thought was cool but is now embarrassing, I always think, "Isn't that just cheese? Like, delicious cheese?"

🎶Now he knows how Joan of Arc felt

Dave's parents must be so upset that the man who murdered their son brazenly markets a line of bread products off of the celebrity he gained from the crime.

This was what being a teen in the 80s was like

Water is the Stuart Sutcliffe of Earth, Wind and Fire.

SURVEY SAYS: Dumbest timeline!!

she's gonna try to kill Ogami Itto in SHOGUN ASSASSIN

There is no world in which it is normal for the president to publicly call upon his attorney general to hurry up and prosecute his political foes. It’s like the Watergate tapes but posted on social media. Let’s get a grip on what’s happening here.

Disney adults & juggalos: allies I never expected to fight evil with

🎯🎯🎯

I am 6 years older than Brendan Carr. Wtf?

A game I keep on coming back to? FRUIT NINJA VR. It's infinitely replayable & weirdly meditative in virtual reality, holding two swords and just getting into the groove of acting without overthinking.

When authoritarianism is on the rise, you can count on the richest, least vulnerable men on the planet to be the biggest cowards.

Just a reminder that the guy who submitted this picture and poem to the birthday book of the most notorious child sex trafficker in history has now blown up 4 boats in international waters and killed more than 14 people

at my kid's request, I figured out how to make homemade Dubai chocolate. This 1.0 attempt: delicious, but too thick on the chocolate; needs more filling.