Certified Nats bullpen moment

Me in 1768: I dislike the new Prime Minister and the Steam Machine is still too expensive. Me in 2026: I dislike the new Prime Minister and the Steam Machine is still too expensive.

This is the guy that pitched a hissy fit when the Pirates yanked him from the rotation? Lol. Lmao, even

Damn, I thought Cheetos were healthy. TIL

Bart, I don’t mean to alarm you, but the Nats have a functional player dev department for maybe the first time ever

*bravely* I might do my job now

The O’s could use some outfield help I guess

Thank you Spurs for distracting people from the Nats’ bullpen implosion

🎶Rikuu don’t lose that number🎵 🎵It’s the only one you own🎶

New test of ceasefire

Good to know that even in the ABS era, the umps will still blow a call every so often that massively affects the outcome of the game.

The Nats won the Christopher Sanchez trade

Just as we all expected, the best second basemen in the NL are: -a slapdick prospect -a kid -noted power hitter Brice Turang -a slapper who entered the season as a 1B/DH -a masher who entered the season as a LF/DH

Saw this with my girlfriend while my other friends went to see Obsession. Can confirm it’s a tearjerker and way better than it has any right to be.

You come to me, on the day of my son's wedding, which I am not attending

Got an extra key for the Horizon Hunters Gathering (wtf is that title, Sony) beta test, DM if interested!

They didn’t Let Billy Cook

So, Mike Elias is definitely losing his job this year, right?

Tired: the AL Central sucks Wired: the AL West sucks Inspired: the AL sucks

José Ramírez already has 20 steals this season, matching his 2022 total. I need this man to win an MVP before he retires 🙏

Ah now that i know this crucial context I've changed my opinion: they should've booed him so forcefully that he deuced himself and then laughed until he cried

On the left is an Onion headline from March. On the right is Reuters, today.

Rangers’ broadcast is having a moment after Evan Carter’s 2-run HR

If Jacob Young is “only” a great defender and not the best defensive center fielder in baseball, he’s not a starting outfielder. After a hot start he’s really cooled off with the bat (62 wRC+ on the season) so he really needs to be a standout defender. Think he loses his job when Crews is ready.

The Orioles are 29th in run differential. At what point does Mike Elias lose his job? The momentum from 2023-2024 is completely gone. If we’re judging based on playoff wins, the rebuild has beared no fruit. The pitching is a mess. The young core behind Adley and Gunnar has stalled out (Cowser, Mayo)

wow, to think, if you spend dozens of billions of dollars and evaporate a watershed, you too can have a search engine that requires 1400 words of prelude and warning before you can trust it to answer the question "when will The Odyssey be available for streaming"

For the immaculate grid sickos out there: Austin Voth Pedro Severino Jeremy Guthrie Nate McLouth Jorge Lopez And of course, the grid king himself, Edwin Jackson

The Nats are currently 2nd in MLB in runs scored, sandwiched between the Braves and Cubs. This is what happens when you fire Darnell Coles.

It’s been a disappointing start to the season for the O’s overall, but their catching tandem of Rutschman and Basallo is one of the best in MLB. Both are raking right now.

Just as we all suspected, the NL leaders in pitching WAR are: 2 Rockies, a 30-year-old lefty who hadn’t pitched in MLB since 2022, and a guy with a K% in the 6th percentile

Does Kevin McGonigle know baseball is supposed to be hard?

If I were trying to sell AI to the public I would be saying “it’s a useful way to write code faster and automate some tedious tasks that couldn’t be automated well before” and instead they’re running with “get on board or get left behind” and “we WILL eliminate your job.”

xDAWG off the charts for this dude

I think Parker Messick is my new favorite starting pitcher. Funky lefty, built like a country ox, stuff and command.

2 Nats pitchers in the bottom 10 of WPA… sounds about right

My rule 4 is confirming a lot of questions raised by Rules 1-3.

Finally doing something about the affordability crisis.

The Seattle Mariners' statue reveal for Ichiro Suzuki had, well, one of the more inauspicious mishaps imaginable.

Man Forced To Come Up With 45 Seconds Of Facial Expressions While Waitress Lists Off Specials https://theonion.com/man-forced-to-come-up-with-45-seconds-of-facial-express-1819577896/

Another Democratic candidate who thinks appealing to the center is a winning strategy. Can’t wait to see how this goes, we’ve never tried this before.

James Wood has arrived.

Another strongly worded letter oughta do it.

In Korea, when the president declared martial law after midnight and erected barricades in Seoul, congressional reps from all parties ran into the streets, yanked ak47s from the army at the barricades, broke down the locked door to Congress, repealed the martial law order, and arrested the president

Not specifying which civilization has big Monkey's Paw energy

None of those "here's what it will be like" warnings from 2016 went far enough

Until we start charging $7.99 a month to look at it, we will never unlock the full potential of The Moon

“I am a Jedi, like my father before me.” “So be it, Jedi.”

I am tired of all this winning