I never stay on the trails. That’s why they want me dead

Mistook my shiny forehead for a glimmer of hope

Farewell and Thank You, Stephen Colbert open.substack.com/pub/robertre...

Scattered t storm predicted turned into 100 kph wind & t storm warning. Whoever is putting out a saucer of Adderall for t storms should definitely stop.

Jimmy Kimmel on Stephen Miller.

I can tell the stalkers by their hacking. Do stalkers get a good celery? Do they walk around in stawkings, or can they wear shoes? #joke

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down. #joke Anti-gravity is fiction, right? So, what is Dark Energy? And... we still don't know.

Book titles Rhythm & Blues for Wasps by Aaron Bee #joke 59 of n

PROTOLOL jokes The best thing about symmetric cryptography jokes is, um. it's a secret. #protolol #joke

Busy at the Bar Today: A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?" His nervous anticipation to the answer was pulpable. So then the bartender says, "We don't see many termites in here." The termite says, "At these prices I am not surprised." #joke 81 of n

I thought necrophilia was dead, but i was dead wrong. #joke

Redneck jokes: You might be a redneck if... your brother-in-law is also your uncle. #joke 18 of n

Friendly Reminder : When I go grocery shopping this afternoon, if I see you stealing…no I didn’t.

May the 4th be with you on Earth and in Heaven. #MayThe4th #StarWars #StarWarsDay #filmsky #moviesky 🎬🔄

The writing life.

The United States is the only country in the world in which a majority of the people believe their fellow citizens to be immoral, Pew Research suggests.

Happy Anniversary - en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mount_S...

Gemma Correll, contemporary British cartoonist who currently lives and works in the US #WomensArt

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed. #joke

Book titles Animal Illnesses by Ann Thrax #joke 58 of n

PROTOLOL jokes The best thing about NP jokes is that you can assume they exist; someone else decides if they're funny #protolol #joke

Busy at the Bar Today: An astronaut walks into a bar and says "ouch!" #joke 80 of n

A physicist installed a very accurate speedometer in his car. Now he never knows where he is. #joke

Redneck jokes: You might be a redneck if... you think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie. #joke 17 of n

I have a warning label on my back: Caution, emissions may be hazardous. Stay back. #joke

I saw Dr. Strange but, it turns out he's out-of-network, so my insurance isn't going to cover it. What I THOUGHT was going to be a $12 ticket ended up costing me $14,605. #joke

Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first? Patient: Good news, i guess. Doctor: We're naming a new disease after you! #joke

Book titles Summer in the South by A. Z. N. Hott #joke 57 of n

PROTOLOL jokes The bad thing about mono jokes is you know them ahead of time #protolol #joke

Busy at the Bar Today: An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a pint. The second one, a cup. Then 4 oz, then 2 oz, and so on. The barman hands over a quart and says, "You mathematicians, you don't know your limits." #joke 79 of n

Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper. #joke

Redneck jokes: You might be a redneck if... there are more than five McDonald's bags in your car. #joke 16 of n

the six genders are: F-14, F-15, F-16, F-18, F-22, F-35

Procrastination is the one thing you can't put off.

Book titles National Songs by Ann Them #joke 56 of n

PROTOLOL jokes At least Ruby jokes have class. #protolol #joke

Busy at the Bar Today: A man walks into a bar. He asks for ten times more drinks than everyone else. The barman says, "Now that is an order of magnitude." #joke 78 of n

My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work. #joke

Redneck jokes: Q: How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same? A: In both cases, somebody's gonna lose a trailer! #joke 15 of n

A million years ago the house came with a stand of Arbor Vidie trees that provided separation from the neighbor. 10 meters high. Some had dead limbs here & there. SO looked it up & got "diseased". That's it. Have just cut down 4 of them. SO has an idea how to restore privacy. Got to yell "timber!".

There aren't enough "Sure, Jan"s in the meme warehouse to adequately respond to the foolish denials and lies of Donald Trump.

Local air quality index is a number. Recall thinking it went up to 100. Was clear that bigger is worse. Then saw 150. This morning it was 748. Put on a covid mask to let the dogs out. But an hour later it's 30. Other sources show local meters around 30. My weather got hacked? Other conspiracy? WTF.

A secretary indented her car after leaving too narrow a margin.

What I Just Heard About the Plot To Oust Trump open.substack.com/pub/robertre...

Book titles Who Cares? by A. Y. Nott #joke 55 of n

PROTOLOL jokes the good thing about bitcoin jokes is you can mine them yourself #protolol #joke

Busy at the Bar Today: A man walks into a bar & says, "Give me a beer before problems start!" This repeats 3 more times with the same wording. After the 5th beer the bartender is confused & asks "When are you going to pay for these beers?" The man answers, "Now the problems start!" #joke 76 of n

Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can & the friends to post my bail when I finally snap! #joke

Redneck jokes: Q: How did the redneck find the sheep in the tall grass? A: Satisfying #joke 14 of n