I love my two blackout drunk Minnesota sons

welcome home to your parents house, the channels are History, outdoor survival reality TV, and the stock market, btw your mom has a “new” health issue that’s actually been going on for 12 years and you’ve just been served expired food

I really hope we have the guts to The Hague the shit out of this *gestures to everything*

I frew up

Read this. Then read it again.

Ahmed al Ahmed, the man who tackled one of the Bondi killers, became an Australian citizen 3 years ago. His deed was "his way of conveying his gratitude for staying in Australia, for being granted citizenship." He took 5 bullets, and fears he'll lose his left arm. www.smh.com.au/national/nsw...

100 years old today.

SO MUCH AI SLOP ON PINTEREST. I already turned off all the genai suggestions and it’s still nonstop. Mostly AI recipes. So. Annoying.

A huge night for Democrats: —They flip Miami's mayorship. —They flip a state House district in Georgia that had voted Trump by 13%. —They keep Albuquerque's mayorship, while the liberal faction flips city council. —And they get big overperformances (+18 & +22) in 2 Florida specials.

Everything is getting stupider

GO PACK GOOOOOO the bears still suck

The USPS posting a NINE BILLION DOLLAR LOSS!!! sounds terrible. Certainly worse than if you said "USPS costs thirty dollars per person per year" even though that means the same thing and more accurately describes a government service

I’ve found it’s more visually appealing to just paste in his head at the inflection points

"oh, don't forget to highlight, in bright red, the two-letter word in the tagline! the two letter word that's kind of the whole point of this clever ad campaign! the two letter word that links this show to the horror movie of the same name!" "no problem boss. i'm on it"

The DC shooting story is really getting to me because we literally trained this man as a child soldier for a death squad in a forever war and Stephen Miller et al want to blame it on other cultures? It's our culture, American culture, that killed that woman.

NEW — Today, Cook County became the first county in the U.S. to establish permanent funding for guaranteed income at the county level. The Cook County Board of Commissioners approved $7.5 million for the program through its FY 2026 budget, which totals $10.12 billion. thetriibe.com/2025/11/cook...

some other familiar grocery store names that are brands for producer-owned agricultural co-ops: Blue Diamond Bob's Red Mill Land O'Lakes Tillamook Welch's

we need a department of kerning

Accidentally booped a bee’s butt and then placed my hand on top of another bee and have not gotten stung (yet). #blessed

I’m trying to fly to my sister’s next Tuesday to meet my (first!!) newborn nephew. 😭

dawg not the steakhouse wedding font

"The day NYC elects a Muslim Mayor will be the day I die." --Dick Cheney probably

Yassssss

Earlier this year, I met a Croatian journalist who was in the US doing a piece on America’s politics and I asked her what surprised her. And she said, “What you all call the far left is just being normal.”

FACTS about SNAP: -35% to white people (largest share) -90% to people born in 🇺🇸 -86% to households with kids -70% work full time but aren’t paid a living wage (aka corporate welfare)

sexy car seat 🥴

My narc mom who hates when anyone else is the center of attention put vinegar in my sister’s brand new bottle sanitizer instead of distilled water. My sister just had her baby six weeks early and is pumping and going back and forth to the hospital to visit him in the NICU.

hang this in the louvre (there's room now)

cackling

headline 🤌🏻

Currently on a flight to Japan watching a Pentagon Assistant Press Secretary (Riley Podleski) work on a document in the open on her laptop. She spent the last hour copy and pasting headlines from articles critical of the Administration’s hostility toward the 1st amendment.

I love this so much!

Men would rather collapse a government than go to therapy

I think we really should stop using antifa and just fully say anti-fascist and get them saying they are against anti fascism. Using antifa is giving them some distance and I genuinely think some of their base don’t even know that’s what it stands for.

Saw my first plantation IRL (I’m down in South Carolina for the weekend) and it made me so uncomfortable. White people, y’all are really ok with getting engaged and married there??

What an absolute treasure Diane Keaton was. Her wit never tired, nor did her style.

Diane Keaton, an Academy Award-winning actor who appeared in more than 60 films, including “The Godfather” trilogy, “The First Wives Club” and the 1977 romantic comedy “Annie Hall,” has died at 79.

Place I’m staying had Fox News on this morning. I haven’t watched it (maybe ever??) aside from clips and holy propaganda Batman 🤮🤮🤮

A great breakdown of the numbers here, making clear the return was across society, not directly into govt coffers: bsky.app/profile/clar...

Damn. This is amazing. £325 per week, paid monthly, for 3 years - and the result was a profit for the Irish economy: www.citizensinformation.ie/en/employmen...

Found out Kash Petal & Ken Paxton ate at our favorite restaurant recently and one of the managers came up to talk ALL about it to us and about how people stood up and applauded them when they left and…I am not the right audience for this, sir.

Scientist and global activist Jane Goodall, who turned her childhood love of primates into a lifelong quest for protecting the environment, died on Wednesday at the age of 91, the institute she founded said.

A bus of Bronx middle schoolers pulled up to the Capitol this morning for a long-planned field trip just a few hours after the government shut down. All Capitol tours were cancelled as the guides can’t work in shutdown. So I escorted them in myself and gave them a personal tour. They were great!

A mass walkout of the UN General Assembly as Netanyahu prepares to speak.

Flower Mound TX, who is she?

In the 2010s, this country's elites were thrown onto social platforms with everyone else and could finally read what we all think about them and it caused them so much psychic damage that they decided to destroy both the internet and democracy to make sure nothing like it ever happened again.

Far as I can tell, Robert Redford was: * successful at everything he tried * genuinely intelligent & insightful * desired by women * envied by men * an absolute mensch to everyone he dealt with * a tireless, lifelong philanthropist ... and he died peacefully in his sleep. 10/10 life. No notes.

Gonna write some brief troll mitigation tips for you all because like any successful, happy woman on the internet, i’ve had ‘em Tips break down into two main areas: 1. Defensive tactics: how not to make it easy for them 2. Offensive tactics: fuck ‘em up 🧵: