Can I claim Canadian citizenship based on the one week a year I spent there from 1990-1997? Please?

Now playing on vinyl

The Empty Nest characters (and dog) showing up on Golden Girls episodes

A gay Latin dance night called Papi Surprise

personally i'd blame the adults who smirkingly look the other way when 15 year old boys violently haze one another and stick broomsticks up each others' assholes and stuff, but sure blame a tv show that works too

I’ll just squirt down to DC for the weekend

Clown event still possible. 70% chance of clown. Light clownshowers after midnight.

Anybody who hasn’t listened to this really should. It was a bad move for Tori to deny her own artistry to chase what seemed to be the style of the time. However, it is a good album on its own with the benefit of hindsight. Late 80s hair bimbo is just fun, period.

I replaced the blower motor in this thing despite the instructions not lining up whatsoever and it seemingly designed to be impossible to work on. Thanks for the warranty parts Mr Cool but also fuck you for making me hunt for videos that weren’t even accurate.

Opening: www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPCd...

Closing: www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3c5...

I said “Lady, step inside my Hyundai”

In every Republican presidency of my lifetime there's been a recession and a new war in the Middle East.

I got 8 staples in the top of my head because an iron table base fell on it from a great height when I worked at Pier1 Imports. For some reason I did not sue about it.

1. WWII vet who was an airplane then truck then Chrysler mechanic 2. Worked in an auto parts factory I am not rugged and I do not pretend to be.

fwiw I don't know what's really in Graham Platner's heart, that side of his chest hasn't come up as much

Health insurance company hold music is designed to make you kys so you don't need healthcare anymore

When I'm grumpy it really does help to watch the free shavacadoo Vine a few times on repeat

"The CIA conspired to make me less cool than I was when I was 25" is the most succinct Gen X manifesto I've ever heard

I see a mention in the article that they took a shit on POC and the queer community but nothing about how they intend to apologize for that.

PEENT

“The Nazi tattoo guy who retweets white supremacists and goes on antisemitic podcasts and says both parties are the same will be a reliable democratic vote, don’t worry” I mean LISTEN TO YOURSELVES

Chef Boyardee / Peeps crossover when

LOL why do people cower in fear at this limp dick

Aaahh!!! Real Housewives

It’s bean club delivery day! 🎉

No, because it is not and never has been about women's sports.

Did you know Precheck was canceled for like an hour today before TACO town kicked in

this is the stupidest thing and it absolutely undid me

Ooooooh somebody gonna be spiraling today

I've reached that age where somebody whose picture was on my locker door in 1995 has found touchdown jesus

Everywhere I go smells like shit, who can I sue about this?

me: [giggling uncontrollably] partner: what now me: google dingus panty sniffer partner: is this some insane online shit again me: incredibly, no partner: what a dingus me: sometimes reading the news feels like doing drugs partner: yeah, but, like, DMT shit

I wish we could mute people for 3 or 7 days like we can words. Like sometimes people are just *on one* and you want them to get it out of their system, but if I mute somebody I will inevitably forget to un-mute them.

This ANTM documentary is reminding me of stuff I forgot I forgot. That show was so deranged.

you do not have to believe the masturbatory rightwing fan fiction about the power they do not actually have

People pushing the theory that we're locked in a life or death struggle with Trumpism for the foreseeable future and it's hard to even conceive of what our victory would look like are in for a hilarious surprise the minute Trump shuffles off this mortal coil.

Drop an album that was important to you when you were 19.

I call this place Our Lady of the Improbable Elbows

They want you sick and poor I don’t know how that could be any clearer

Our legacy media endlessly perpetuates the assumption, for which there is no evidence, that Elon Musk is a comic book super genius inventor. So they never shift to the assumption, for which evidence abounds, that he's just a cheap charlatan sabotaging human progress for his own benefit.

Duck, duck, bussy

This is the best level-headed analysis of this issue I have yet seen.

When young people complain about not being able to afford a home: "Just cut out all your superfluous purchases!" When young people cut out all their superfluous purchases: "Why are you destroying the economy!"

It's Mandatory Monday and AI is clearly the future. mandatoryrollercoaster.com/post/8081046...

Nintendo Power Pad which got used like 5 times but made me feel like a rich fucking rockstar for a hot second

People don’t just accidentally drop the N bomb unless it’s practiced IMO. I can’t imagine just saying that. And that really fucking sucks because I have been a huge fan since day one and was anticipating new episodes.

A Puerto Vallarta drag queen named Masasha Migos

I’m not even a vegan but this is genuinely one of the best places in puerto Vallarta