Going to create one of those accounts where 90% of my posts are complaining about how people reply to my posts and the other 10% is me setting clever post traps for my haters

Watching Mr Robot for the first time and thinking how many of the problems could have been solved if people just occasionally switched out their routers

Jasen "are you sure you want to go in CVS dressed like that?" Me "what do you mean? I look better than I usually do at a CVS" Moments later remembering I'm wearing a cat bell collar that jingles when I walk

tis the season

If you’re a real poster you never stop being a reply guy you merely evolve like a Pokémon into a Replymander

I suppose I need to go up into the attic and try to dig something festive out of the bins last year me shoved up there with no thought or organization

In Pluribus Carol says at the end of one of her tapes ‘is anybody listening? And how the fuck would I know?’ So that’s like being a hobby podcaster…..

If you see this, repost with your model of positive masculinity.

Just one more thing... #ColumboTV

We're in our gossip era spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/x6jM6IdrRYb

No gods no masters

Me living an unexamined life: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!! Me living an examined life: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck

Starting Frosty the Snowman discourse in the family group chat

OK, gonna date myself some, but Google search is getting to be so bad that I'm thinking about alta vista with fond nostalgia.

sometimes you just gotta make it so

I have one goal for Krampusfest this year and it's not to break another tooth

Looks like it's time for a frosty afternoon can of Baja Blast

I can tell my dog is feeling better after his vestibular episode because not only is he back to doing crimes but now he's trying to cover up those crimes

MAM IT'S COLD

I don't know what other women wear to bed but I'm at my most seductive when wearing my Star Trek captains pajamas

WELCOME TO THE DRACULA PAPRIKA DISCOURSE!! (meme from tumblr, not my own, original link seems to be dead now)

COP: do you know why I stopped you ME: is it related to my crimes

also, this Saturday, 12/6 at 5pm ET (2p PT / 10p UK / 11p CET) is the monthly episode of #ColumboTV featuring s1e1: MURDER BY THE BOOK, directed by Steven Spielberg! I'm guest hosting this month as we seek a new permanent host (or group of hosts) 🙏🏻 🙏🏼 🙏🏽 All welcome! #PeterFalk #Columbo #Mystery

I don’t understand why Hemingway got to drink himself to death while writing a manifesto in a house full of cats but when I do it it’s “a maladaptive coping mechanism” and I “need to talk to someone”

Some men think being married to them solves everything. #FrightClub

What I'm doing when I say I'm on my way

Fell asleep right after reading Katabasis and spent an agonizing hour on the couch in an uncomfortable position only to wake up and realize I was in bed, comfortable, the whole time, so who says a perfect contradiction doesn't exist outside of the underworld? Take that, King Yama!

Tonight I learned that there was a years long search by several YouTubers to seek out the pilot to a show, only for them to be met consistently with a grim conspiracy of people in power who wanted them to fail. These folks faced misinformation, betrayal, and numerous dead ends.

#TVMysteries (Tuesdays 8p ET on Mastodon) is revisiting Joan Hickson's MISS MARPLE in Dec. Free🔗📌on my 🐘profile @molliekatie.bsky.social @gdhenry.bsky.social @heavydishongry.bsky.social @aliencg.com @mylifeasliz64.bsky.social @frommsb.bsky.social @janhamcam.bsky.social @lilymarswrites.bsky.social

who decided to call it Secret Santa when Nondisclosure Claus was right there

We review the 1979 movie The Warriors and learn about the horrors of the United Skates of America mascot Skateasaurus Rex

extremely scientific diagram for reference

Thankful for the elder who makes the coffee every Sunday. Some weeks I need it more than others, but he's always here making it before everyone else arrives

Roasted a pork loin today and god help me before it went into the oven all I could think was "Alf hog?"

I’ll give you a personalized book recommendation if you promise you won’t procure the book from a billionaire…

I'm sure you'll get thoroughly cleaned, but the spin cycle is going to be a bitch. www.japantimes.co.jp/business/202...

“I’ve just never heard anyone in a pencil skirt call someone ‘bruv’” well sorry for living my most authentic life while also remaining shackled to a professional role against my better judgement

Balls out for Christ, is that anything?

-Turns on Midsomer Murders -It's the one where Sykes dies -Goddamnit

Well I fell asleep around the hundredth ad break and woke up to the ending sequence of the soft piano minor key nursery rhymes so it sounds like I didn't miss much #FrightClub

Forget Diego's peen, they should wrap this entire building in a condom. It's filthy #FrightClub

I hope nerd guy turns out to also be a ghost #FrightClub

It's giving public domain music is free #FrightClub

His rendition of The Itsy Bitsy Spider brings all the girls to his back yard, so I've heard. #Seance #FrightClub

I wish the ads were at least tailored to the movie. I'd like an ad block for pizza, bourbon, bras, and colleges in Memphis #FrightClub

Oh no does this ghost WHISTLE? I can handle a haunting but whistling will turn me into the joker #FrightClub

"Is that her?" No it's some other ghost 6 year old haunting this dorm #FrightClub