I don't know what an em dash is and I refuse to learn

Burgers should never be tall, serve me a tall burger and go straight to jail

time to post my absolutely favorite meme

Based on some real life stories about things left on lawns, WOULD YOU RATHER: Deal with a Cheeto bag full of human poop and rainwater OR Have to clean up a very used broken Fleshlight on Christmas Eve

Would you like to be my Life Manager? It pays nothing and also I'm mean

It's heading into JULY 📺 It's the 6/25-7/2 weekly THU-THU #Bluesky 🦋 #WatchPartyCalendar screencap 📆Live updates & details at: livetweety.wordpress.com All times US Eastern Hiatus: #IndieWatch & #VanGhoulAtTheMovies ⏰ Follow @tattooedgranny.bsky.social for daily #WatchParty reminders #FilmSky 🍿

Memory help? Back in the olden days when Twitter was Twitter, in a forgotten year possibly around 2018, there was a lovely account called something like the shop that wasn't there. Do you have any recollection of it? They stopped posting, and I often wonder if they died. A sort of microfiction.

Just how many trumpets are we supposed to hear during the end times? Because if it's more than two I'm out

I didn't know how I feel about a yassified Hercule Poirot

You can't gaslight the willing

JULIET: I will kiss thy lips; haply some poison yet doth hang on them! *kiss* ROMEO: (throwing his voice) Maybe there's poison on his dong?

Hahaha I'd love to see you surveil THIS *spends several hours googling weather maps from 2019 in states I have never lived in*

Has ,,,, become the new ... ? Why am I seeing typing like this now?

There are only two men I want to teach me history, Werner Herzog and Wishbone

Big props to the Central Minnesota Juggalo Family for adopting a section of State Highway 371 outside of Baxter. That kicks ass.

Thanks everyone, that was truly awful #Riffotronic

Well, thanks @theasabin.bsky.social and #riffotronic pals. If you're looking for something in a few hours #SpaceApeCinema at 10 P PT has what looks like a good one from the early 60's.....Have a great weekend. Take care. See ya soon.

I may be hallucinating because of the terrible hypnosis of this movie, but it sounded like the chord progression on that march was the same as Here Comes Santa Claus #Riffotronic

They done pissed off Poseidon #Riffotronic

Do you think the kids are like McNuggets #Riffotronic

#Riffotronic You have five of the finest divers in New York... Four of the finest divers.... Three of the finest divers...

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING WAS COMMITMENT AND NO REGRETS? What are you TALKING about? Commitment to WHAT? #Riffotronic

See, this is why I like to add an educational short to my #Riffotronic playlist from time to time.

I say let the octopus eat its fill of humans and it will go take a nap for another 100 years to digest. Problem solved #Riffotronic

This Octopus believes in stand your ground laws and the castle doctrine #Riffotronic

One thing all these man vs. nature movies have in common is the hubris #Riffotronic

The octopus defense team is going to point to the fringed flag and insist this be tried under maritime law #Riffotronic

Now it's sort of like octopus Moby-Dick. #Riffotronic

I know this is the least of the problems with this movie but at this point wouldn't you call in a marine biologist? What's a cop going to do about this, plant cocaine on the octopus and break its nose? #Riffotronic

I'm having a hard time seeing the octopus as the bad guy in this movie #Riffotronic

He had one week to go. #Riffotronic

I wish they'd cast a parody of Eric Adams in this movie. He'd try to bribe the octopus with a chip bag filled with cash #riffotronic

If this was a different kind of movie these tentacles would be used for love, not hate #Riffotronic

If an octopus can make it in New York, it can make it anywhere. #Riffotronic

Busting a sitting judge for a crime is an average weeknight in Cleveland #Riffotronic

I wasn't narcotics trafficking, I was narcotics traveling #Riffotronic

You know, I'm no creationist but it's shit like this that makes me think this is why the biblical god separated the land from the waters and why Aaron Copeland wrote that song about it #Riffotronic

Confession: I genuinely love all the different covers of Saturday Night at the Movies #Riffotronic

Important Cleveland update

This Joyspun pajama display is all bottoms and no tops. What kind of Pride month is this

How do I get to be the DJ of Walmart radio?

Mother fuck- kitten fosters there’s a potential recall in process for all Breeders Edge/Shelter Choice puppy and kitten formulas. For non foster folks- these are the gold standard formulas. This is a big deal For Team Potat- this is a freaking nightmare.

Name a TV show you're positive no one remembers but you...

My next D&D character will be named Gale Warning

Perhaps the most prophetic sci-fi film of all time, 12 Monkeys is about a millennial who wishes it was the mid-90s again.

Is boofing only for liquids or could I boof a sandwich

I can cancel the meetings I make 💪😤

THEY USED TO MAKE US WRAP OUR SCHOOL BOOKS IN BROWN PAPER SHOPPING BAGS

Hot Ones isn’t extreme enough. Cover a wing in bees.