Seeing a lot of unsolicited Facebook posts for something called the we do not care club but it seems to be an awful lot of people who care enough to make videos of themselves ranting about things they claim not to care about

Sending my strongest mental soldiers to my pettiest battles

Turns out if you want your off-brand fitness watch to register signs of life you have to wear it snugly on your wrist. You can't have it jingling around like an 80s bangle bracelet

Hump Day energy on Bluesky

@themmcpodcast.com guess which one we are!

Not us reporting for duty on the shitposting squadron

You can't believe in the laws of thermodynamics without believing in ghosts and that's why it's not my fault for breaking the desk chair

Sending @terselyverbose.bsky.social voice memos about the "Kermit did 9/11" fan theory while walking the dogs because I want to alienate my neighbors as well as my friends

Sen. Markwayne Mullin has died of taking a standardized third grade reading level test. He is expected to be replaced at the Department of Homeland Security by two stray dogs humping.

Damn, I wish I had a sandwich I'd eat it till the daylight comes I would eat it cold or warm

Two week warning! We'll be doing a watch party for #ColumboTV on April 4 at 5 pm EST/10 UK, we'll be watching Suitable for Framing over on Mastodon. Bring along a mutual and wear your favorite leisure suit

One thing about me is I'm going to fret

Enjoyed breaking down the Afroman trial for my parents and explaining NWA's Fuck da Police as an example of the social commentary referenced on record in the court

Today at church it's straight up necromancy Sunday, hell yeah

World building is an inside thought

Saxon Musk sounds like a rejected perfume name

Another entry in Facebook group admins who didn’t consider how their group name would look in the feed.

[someone posts a picture of Peter Falk] Me, mouth directly on the microphone: WOULD

Me as fuck

Eid Mubarak, friends. May the world be unrecognisable by the next one

I'm a bitch / I'm a lover / Beowulf killed Grendel's mother

Never fail to amaze myself when I go from failing to count in 2 to failing to count in 4

Sometimes I think about someone describing my best quality as "portability" and what that means they weren't saying about my personality

Yes I want open Borders. I want open Barnes & Noble, too.

Girl Boss

Me doing Reverse Lent this year

Oh you want to fight? I'll dominate you on any battlefield of your choosing as long as it's after 7am and before 9pm and also not during lunch

I choose this bear specifically

Absolute King shit right here

Name a band and I'll respond with "Huh? Who?" because I have a very narrow knowledge of music, popular or otherwise, and am especially bad at connecting artists and songs.

The human beehive does not concern herself with deliverables

How many times can one woman hurt herself with dental floss

I like to think Jesus pulled the loaves and fishes from behind someone's ear

Taste the devil's apple with #FrightClub tonight when we watch #Mandrake here ⬇️ at 10ET/9C/8M/7P/2GMT! Shudder: watch.shudder.com/video/876438 Hoopla: www.hoopladigital.com/title/16327840

Finished the first draft of a story I dreamed back in December at the height of a sinus infection that drove me to antibiotics the very next day. There has to be a better way to come up with story ideas.

15-year-old Elyria teen reported missing #NortheastOhio #News

Glad to see the dumbest people alive are being very normal on Facebook

Space is angry because we keep sending Ohioans up there.

i don't think i should have to complete my workday after it's been interrupted by a meteor exploding

What if we kissed underneath the Cleveland Meteor

National weather service and my local sheriff are saying it was a meteor x.com/i/status/203...

DID ANYONE IN THE CLEVELAND OHIO AREA HEAR AND FEEL THAT LOUD ASS BOOM? We felt it from Avon Lake to West Park

this weather really be weathering

Please play along with me! We Got The Oscars At Home

We should celebrate Sean Penn's win by yeeting him directly into the sun

Yeah I’ve seen the groundbreaking movie where a leading man plays two different brothers