Serious question. Have you literally ever considered what your *great-grandchildren* will think about you and your life? Your children sure, your grandchildren probably. But your great-grandchildren?

I see the super rich have a new fetish

Or a sitcommunism maybe

just had a cracking idea for a buddy movie 🎬

Grimsby Town now hold the right to have Blundell Park referred to as The Theatre of Breams from now on.

I mean it should be no surprise Grimsby are good at finding the net

Aww wonderful. #TheyFoundAWay (Scoring more goals than the other team.)

Half nine on a Saturday night. We used to be a proper country.

In France “Pierre has entered the chat” is a matter for their version of the RSPCA

I have a long history of sporting humiliations behind me but having to allow another family to play through us at crazy golf is a new low

Stop what you are doing right now and play Just Be Simple, possibly one of the best songs ever

Forgive me, I can’t remember who, but someone recommended this recently and one of the replies called it possibly the best album ever. I’d never heard of it (or Songs: Ohia at all, somehow) but holy sweet Jesus they were right. Doing my civic duty by passing the recommendation on.

I think this is my favourite throwaway gag ever, blink and you’ll miss it magic.

some people might think Sky Sports leading with Jake Paul’s next opponent being maybe Anthony Joshua but also maybe Joey Essex could mean boxing is becoming an absolute clown show but no not me let’s go for it sounds great

somebody told me dogs have no sense of time so does that mean my dog thinks I’ve been gone for months when I’ve popped to the shops or that he won’t notice while I’m away on holiday and please just say the latter to make me feel better

Just used a bot to make some holiday dinner reservations and somehow they’ve booked them all for October not August. Got to admire the sassiness here though.

The most underrated thing about holidays is that laundry gets exciting. Ooh I’ll wear that for dinner on the Tuesday night, can’t wait to wash and iron it.

A fun game you can play in the school holidays is working out exactly which international time zone your children have inexplicably moved into.

Wait… did they … find a way???

Series 3 of the 2-5-1 podcast begins on August 1st, please subscribe via your favourite pod provider links to all are in our bio or via @cyberdonkey bio

It’s no longer acceptable to simply say “well we scored more points than the other team, which is of course the sole objective.” You need the mystery and intrigue of “finding a way.”

me looking in the mirror and realising how old I am

Imagine seeing a few rainbows and thinking that’s it I’m joining the Russian military. Imagine telling your kids. “The good news is no more of that silly gay nonsense. The bad news… well you might want to sit down for the bad news.”

The main difference between the two Live Aid concerts is that the Wembley crew was all white men called Geoff whereas the Philadelphia crew was all white men called Jeff.

People wonder why the BBC only showed Live Aid on BBC2, but what nobody remembers now is that there was an all-day concert on BBC1 raising money to make the famine much worse, for balance.

There is something so fundamentally telling with people who think that “reading a book” and “knowing what the plot is” is the same experience.

My son has gone on a week-long trip to France with a school-approved budget of €120 and spent €94 on duty-free fragrance before he’s even left the country. Great stuff.

Last year, I started a regular 'Write-In' in a cafe in my hometown. It's brought me so much joy and connection (and cake). So I wrote about it. www.andreamann.com/blog/i-set-u...

the Star Tribune just called me and told me they would not be publishing the obituary I wrote for my father as it is “unfair to him” and “in poor taste” so here it is and fuck the strib ✌🏻

Just saw someone on here remarking about the funniest thing they’ve ever read, and I was wondering what that would be for me. I mean it was *probably* a sarcastic WhatsApp message I received, or something, but in terms of publically available documents, perhaps this? clickhole.com/amazing-chec...

@mooseallain.bsky.social happy birthday, Moose! 🎂 x

The annual outpouring of emotion from my daughter.

Live every day as if it’s your last. Crippled by fear and regret.

RIK MAYALL MINI THREAD! As it's been 11 years since pan-global phenomenon Dr. The Rik Mayall passed away, here's a mini thread of some of his absolutely incredible replies to letters and requests from fans.

“This is not my first radio.” - someone making an absolute mess of the not my first rodeo joke

I promise I take men’s mental health very seriously but there have been far too many blokes crying at football matches lately, pull yourselves together lads

poems never rhyme pathetic with bathetic because that would be feeble and anticlimactic

the secret to looking incredibly young and healthy in photographs is simply waiting five years and feeling absolute horror at how badly you’ve aged

Fed up with French puns about The Smiths? Moi aussi, j’en ai marre.

Early exit polls suggest the new pope did particularly well with male voters aged 45-79.

nothing worse than getting a group whatsapp message on a saturday night and oh wow just the “2 online” is it great happy to be one of those losers thanks for pointing it out

Not many people know that AA Milne had a much smaller brother called AAA Milne

In a better world, far more words would rhyme. Pronounce encourage like entourage, pinecone like minestrone. Think how much cooler radiators would be if they rhymed with gladiators.

What if my dog isn’t a good boy? What then???

The only data leak I’m interested in is exposing famous musicians who spend all day streaming their own music to up their Spotify royalties.

divided as the world may be surely we can all agree an app that makes an instant sound when opened belongs in the ground

I know there are all sorts of horrors out there right now but I just bought what I thought was a can of IPA but it turned out to be a stout so please pray for me too.

waiting for a manicure like

honestly lads if your episodes are normally 40-50 mins DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT just throw in a two hour finale, it’s nuts, stop it

I just feel ATMs should be more supportive and open to negotiation.