Too fuckin’ real, @mcsweeneys.net. Way to real.

Life in Minnesota is getting invited to the house of a lady who you met in a neighborhood signal chat because she said she needed a dozen whistles and then talking for an hour in her kitchen about how to develop an anti-ICE patrol for her kid’s fucking preschool.

Football is not my favorite sport (nothing against it, just haven’t followed much) but between @erinbiba.bsky.social and @coachfinstock.bsky.social, it’s growing on me.

this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier

What the fuck

@kenwhite.bsky.social You should be able to get a few good podcast episodes out of Drake’s latest tribulations, no? I can hear your wistful sigh already. bsky.app/profile/nbcn...

16th Century J-Kwon: Everybody in this bitch gettin’ besotted.

This has been made available, so for purposes of commenting on Bari Weiss's decision to spike the story, here's a live-post of that segment. It begins with a "you may recall" summary of the deportation to el Salvador. Describes the admin's claim that it could deport the men without due process

🏆😂 Chef’s kiss

It’s the “season of love and giving”…but this year, doesn’t it seem more like a “season of fear and taking”? Like many of you, I’ve been saddened by the human impact of draconian government budget cuts and how angry many housed Americans are at unhoused Americans. 🧵 1 of 9

Your own personal d-esus

Okay @kenwhite.bsky.social, don’t back down when Pontiff Chicago Dog (complementary) shows up to the party.

Once again.

A @jcsalterego.bsky.social x @moxiest.art t-shirt collab would fix me.

@annabower.bsky.social There’s one for a t-shirt in the Lawfare shop.

Caption this. Wrong answers only. 😂

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Who has made this 🤣

The honking is coming from inside the kube cluster…

@profanity.accountant how much do I swear?

Comedy, therapy, AND clean water? We should all be so lucky.

friend whose christmas card just arrived: how dare you.

There’s a reason this post is doing numbers. I laugh every time I read it.

🎯

First off, my suspension has ended. Got a little harsh with a post a few days ago but I didn’t have my feet on the ground and I’m sorry if I offended anyone. Will try to be more chipper. Knock on wood!

Don’t anybody make reference to the woodchipper scene in Fargo either. 🙄

If your paper or talk is going to make @lookitup.baby groan, it should be on its own merits, damnit. Write your own crappy jokes. Make your own bad jokes. Like what are you even doing otherwise?

oh no am i the repost man

Chuck Schumer Helps Pull Democrats Back From Brink Of Courage

Dillon Brooks getting a tech sitting on the sidelines in his sweatpants is so on brand. #nba

I’m always game for FMD™️: Faine Mayonnaise Discourse

Breakwater - Release The Beast youtu.be/eVVfZAZdIUs And you bet your ass there will be jazz hands.

If you didn’t know Mike Davis was a fuckin asshole, well now you do.

wait did ronald reagan just say go blue jays

This is insanely illegal and incredibly fucking dangerous.

just call it a lie for fucks sake

Im dead 😂😂😂

We've been keeping track of all of the atrocities Trump has committed since he took office in January. To be clear, this is not humor or satire, but maybe sometime in the future, our relatives will see this, shake their heads, and think, "What a hilarious shitshow of a timeline."

u should post however u like respond to whoever u want just remember some people come here desperate for the trolling engagement it is not your duty to provide them with it

Find a No Kings protest Saturday and go! Don't worry that you've never been to a protest before. Don't worry about being dressed wrong or looking out of place. Don't worry that you don't agree about everything -- or even about much -- with lots of people at the protest. /1

Why is the first person to hoist the #wnba champion’s trophy an old white man? I know he’s the team owner, but seriously. Also love Kathy getting booed every time she speaks.

The contributors are absolutely killing it this week.

"You have been warned, this day is coming. A day we stop asking if we can befoul your bathroom, and we forcibly start doing our business in there."

Louder for the people in the back

if jesse singal “hasn’t violated the terms of use,” but the goofy autistic space law nerd with the bad food opinions has, maybe your terms of service are bad.

Writing like this is why McSweeney’s is getting my NPR pledge money now. Their writers have been on a heater all season this year. 😂

On its birthday, share one image from your favourite #TNG episode. So bad it’s good…

You know the rules: Gas, Grass or Ass. No one raptures for free.