🎯

First off, my suspension has ended. Got a little harsh with a post a few days ago but I didn’t have my feet on the ground and I’m sorry if I offended anyone. Will try to be more chipper. Knock on wood!

Don’t anybody make reference to the woodchipper scene in Fargo either. 🙄

If your paper or talk is going to make @lookitup.baby groan, it should be on its own merits, damnit. Write your own crappy jokes. Make your own bad jokes. Like what are you even doing otherwise?

oh no am i the repost man

Chuck Schumer Helps Pull Democrats Back From Brink Of Courage

Dillon Brooks getting a tech sitting on the sidelines in his sweatpants is so on brand. #nba

I’m always game for FMD™️: Faine Mayonnaise Discourse

Breakwater - Release The Beast youtu.be/eVVfZAZdIUs And you bet your ass there will be jazz hands.

If you didn’t know Mike Davis was a fuckin asshole, well now you do.

wait did ronald reagan just say go blue jays

This is insanely illegal and incredibly fucking dangerous.

just call it a lie for fucks sake

Im dead 😂😂😂

We've been keeping track of all of the atrocities Trump has committed since he took office in January. To be clear, this is not humor or satire, but maybe sometime in the future, our relatives will see this, shake their heads, and think, "What a hilarious shitshow of a timeline."

u should post however u like respond to whoever u want just remember some people come here desperate for the trolling engagement it is not your duty to provide them with it

Find a No Kings protest Saturday and go! Don't worry that you've never been to a protest before. Don't worry about being dressed wrong or looking out of place. Don't worry that you don't agree about everything -- or even about much -- with lots of people at the protest. /1

Why is the first person to hoist the #wnba champion’s trophy an old white man? I know he’s the team owner, but seriously. Also love Kathy getting booed every time she speaks.

The contributors are absolutely killing it this week.

"You have been warned, this day is coming. A day we stop asking if we can befoul your bathroom, and we forcibly start doing our business in there."

Louder for the people in the back

Free Link

if jesse singal “hasn’t violated the terms of use,” but the goofy autistic space law nerd with the bad food opinions has, maybe your terms of service are bad.

Writing like this is why McSweeney’s is getting my NPR pledge money now. Their writers have been on a heater all season this year. 😂

On its birthday, share one image from your favourite #TNG episode. So bad it’s good…

You know the rules: Gas, Grass or Ass. No one raptures for free.

Look, everything in the past was both phallic and cultic, I don't make the rules, time is a circle

We need to get ChatPerson like five rounds of VC funding pronto. The “you know… other stuff” is a billion dollar idea on its own.

One of those small Japanese or Italian tailor shops @dieworkwear.bsky.social posts about.

Make every month Decorative Gourd Season, motherfuckers.

That's the face of a man who just walked out of @riversidecasino.bsky.social after losing their last $100.

In honor of Sean Charles DUNN, I'm having a sub for dinner tonight, but will be chucking it into my mouth instead of the chest of a brownshirt asshole. Cheers sandwich guy!

A teenage 4channer was beat up by two 15 year olds in DC, which was spotted and quickly stopped by nearby police. He told his friends, the richest man in the world and the Vice President of the United States, that he was pummeled by a dozen adult Romanians. A week later, Trump federalized DC police.

Hi, I’m Larry. This is my brother California. And this is my other brother California.

@jamellebouie.net firing on all cylinders today. Nailed it with “White Idi Amin.”

Tried to cancel my Paramount+ subscription due to the merger/fascism bullshit and got this note. I'm guessing lots of other people had the same idea?

We should all be so lucky as to have been living in that yurt for the last nine years… www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/don...

Can they have @gork.bluesky.bot instead? www.wired.com/story/elon-m...

Hypothetically speaking, if there was a bug in the subscription system and I got a nickel every time there was a “jerry no”, how long should I go before reporting it? Hypothetically.

I too wish I could reignite my passion for refrigerator door repair. 😞

Biting the head off minifigures at Legoland to assert dominance. Run in fear you little shits.

Waiterworld

Speedo

don’t worry guys, bluesky can be perfect so long as we all get along. first things first, we just need to agree if @jcsalterego.bsky.social’s posts are good or not.

Steph Curry doing that footprints on the beach thing tonight. My child that is when I carried you. #nba #DubNation

What @darthbluesky.bsky.social was really doing while he was away.