It's very funny that he can't even do the layup easy "being president" shit without sounding like a maniac.

KOKO THE GORILLA: Koko birkin bag. Practical Koko possession bag RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag. KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense. KOKO: jealousy professor

ahaha holy shit I was not up on this. Not surprised!

The Devils announce they're giving me the greatest Christmas gift of all: Smashing me in the nuts repeatedly with a big cartoon mallet. Thanks, guys!

Whe @theonion.com nails it boy do they nail it

I like how we've completely dispensed with any dignity attached to this office. Just let this addled moron tyrant slap his name on everything like they're his garbage real estate projects. Sure, who cares.

fucked up to think about but there was two grinches on noah's ark

4 extra seconds of daylight let's goooooo

The Devils should really think about not sucking ass

Good to have the entire Devils offense back on the ice

Garbage people, garbage values

Woman comes to US at age 6. Graduates nursing school. Work permit. No criminal record. Snatched and imprisoned by ICE for 6 months now. About to be forced back to Honduras. A life destroyed and one less nurse. Merry Christmas. www.nola.com/news/educati...

Sixers vs Knicks box at the half.

The Devils, propelled by the offensive firepower of Connor Brown and [file not found], are taking the league by storm.

Trump by Jacobs by Donald Trump by Marc Jacobs for Donald by Marc by Donald Trump by Marc Jacobs

I think the only way a lot of people are going to understand a why we developed a lot of these systems they are tearing down is through the hard lessons that resulted in their development in the first place.

This happened last week but I'm still not over ICE's choice to cut off her wedding ring. Needless, punitive cruelty. The feds can't successfully prosecute her for any crime. All they can do is punish her in the moment & they try as best they can. www.mprnews.org/story/2025/1...

ten fucking calls a day from the “loan underwriting department” please someone send these people to the hague

I'm sorry it's so funny that the entire economy is teetering on a mountain of capital expenditures for a thing that does not, and I suspect will not, ever do the things its purveyors claim it does.

‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens https://theonion.com/no-way-to-prevent-this-says-only-nation-where-this-regularly-happens-3/

there should be a lottery i can enter where the winners each get to pry down one chintzy piece of shit with a crowbar

Gonna be an absolute delight ripping this shit down. Needs to be a real spectacle. A PBS special

Players like Quinn Hughes do not get traded very often. Mostly because there are not a lot of them. For a player like that to get traded, at this age, a lot of things have to go terribly wrong. That is the Vancouver Canucks story.

Holy hell

Devils are executing the "crash and burn" flawlessly here

Good thing the Devils aren't playing tonight

Aww did somebody get addicted to being ruled by the malevolent whims of a dipshit narcissist????

Poopob Poopstrom

Devils poopy

I skipped the past two games to do actually fun things, but im locked in for tonight baby

Showing up to the hospital with a broken leg and the $800 dollar check Our Supergenius President Mr. Trump sent me and being shocked when the hospital bills me another $126,000 after discharging me.

Searching for a new litterbox and dying laughing at this cat who looks like a toilet astronaut.

Trump about to win the inaugural Netflix Peace Prize

Big time College Kickers moment

and i hate to beat this drum but what is it about "the west" that they allegedly like? seems like they hate it a lot. i mean maybe the version of the west where euros butchered each other for centuries i guess

Well they need all the help they can get, it seems

Competent Everton always takes me some time to process

Devils are gonna retroactively lose the 16 games they won this season and go 0-82-0

Akira Schmid got a shutout and is also only 2 goals behind Paul Cotter for the season

NO ONE KICKS LIKE GASTON SPLITS THE STICKS LIKE GASTON NO ONE'S LEGS AS INCREDIBLY THICK AS GASTON

Very important for the next Dem president to clean house on every one of these commissions and fill them with appointees who will strive to make billionaires' lives miserable in whatever jurisdiction they oversee. Make these people understand why they shouldn't want these commissions politicized.

When I got a 25/100 on an engineering project freshman year because my group put all our data in appendices and failed to refer to them directly in the body text, I didn't realize I had the option of pissing my pants so violently that I instead get the presidential medal of freedom.

Lol well guess I'm not gonna have to tune into this one after the Devils game

Jake Allen big time doo doo pants performance tonight

Not the best minute of goaltending from Allen there

Lol this one gonna hit triple digit PIMs at this rate

This would be one of those situations where it would be nice to have a Jack Hughes

This thing went tits up in a real hurry

This is a sub-ideal start to the period

Not sure this one's gonna hold up