I was born today a long time ago

Pov: you got a dm from an account you don’t follow

The fact he was wearing a shirt marked “freedom” when his neck got turned into a convertible

Seeing the Philly Phanatic show up to the My Chemical Romance show and throw cheesesteaks into the crowd is the closest I’ve ever come to being in a Paul Verhoeven movie

me walking into Saturday

Millenials/Gen Z are the weirdest parents, the obsession over childhood autonomy right up until it means working. Handing teachers 'gentle parenting guides' and then refusing to read. Half the purpose of reading the same boring story 200 times in a row is to associate reading with enjoyment lol

hey just a periodic reminder that it’s so fucking easy to not be a sex pest that anyone being a sex pest has no excuse

[the writer's barely-disguised fetish voice] i'm like the bene gesserit of creating muscle girls

Vince McMahon: who’s there? show yourself! Hulk Hogan’s ghost: *carrying many chains* IN LIFE I WAS YOUR PARTNER DUDE, THESE ARE THE 24 INCH PYTHONS I FORGED IN LIFE BROTHER

Rest in Piss Hulk Hogan

black sabbath is important to me for a lot of reasons, but like imagine it's 1970 and every other band is doing songs about flowers and shit, and then you have these four gnarly hairy dudes from Birmingham doing songs about nuclear fallout and drug addiction and war, lmao. and it sounds like THAT

BREAKING: Zohran Mamdani speaks from the Forbidden Palace after the retreat of all Cuomindang forces “The People of New York Have Stood Up”

Live feed from the Andrew Cuomo Victory Party where an interruption is taking place

holy shit, nobody showed up

hey guys did something big happen today

Elon molested the servers and the servers went bad

Biden’s prostate: sooooo i did a thiiiiiiing

All the lefties fled to Bluesky following Elon Musk’s Twitter takeover. But CEO Jay Graber says the app is for everyone—and could revolutionize how people beg for sex online

pov: you are inside your duodenum

I want to temper everyone gleefully attributing this Liberal victory to Trump, or his endorsement of the Conservatives. Let’s not forget that Poilievre just absolutely sucks out loud, and did most of the damage to himself. Let’s not take that from him. He’s awful and he lost because of it.

I still remember @idiotwitchamelia.bsky.social introducing this to me when we went to summer camp together, can’t believe it’s been 25 dang years!

So this is an annoyingly common thing. Someone picks a fight with a longtime mutual (@pyrameadhead.wifeguy.online in this case), embarrasses themselves, and then adds me (unrelated party) to a list called "Fascists."

Idk if it can get any clearer than this that he’s not finishing the books, how are people still anticipating it?

Every person with a spectrum disorder has a more valuable life than RFK Jr, and every trans/nb person has a more valuable life than JK Rowling. You are a human with dignity and they are sunken demons

Happy Matt Yglesias Is a Racist Day to those who celebrate

The British Supreme Court can eat the shit out of my toilet

If they actually get rid of DMs on Twitter I might migrate full time lol

hey everyone i met weird al so that was pretty cool

Idk why everyone’s having a meltdown after learning the UHC guy wasn’t some kind of epic based Marxist or something Most people have completely incoherent politics with like one or two good beliefs in there, this doesn’t shock me at all

*some guy whacks a healthcare ceo *french government collapses *South Korean coup attempt

been meditating with Japanese electronica recently and it’s been pretty nice

About to watch some footed ball

this was a good ass bird

me on any given day

Dug these guys out of storage

We are at the point where people act like I’m supposed to care about post quality or put effort into an online presence I’m not being paid for when in reality I treat this as my brains garbage disposal . You’re getting the scraps and you will eat it

mario why are you asking me this

if Tom Waits has an article like the McCarthy one come out after he dies I actually will become the Joker

me and all my mutuals laughing at Matt Gaetz

lol get fucked Matt Gaetz

sitting by the fire, eyes closed with an empty jug of mcrib sauce at my feet have yourself a merry little christmas by frank sinatra plays in the background this is how they find my body

it’s about to get very, very hard to be transgender in the united states. likely harder than it’s been in american history. do not let them scare you into backing down. do not give into transphobes framing. stand up to them however you can. it shouldn’t be this way but we have to fight

I would appreciate it if legendary artists, writers, and musicians stop being pedophiles please

BREAKING: Trump nominates Bob the Builder for Housing and Urban Development

growing up means finding out that there literally are people who would jump off a bridge because some guy told them to