introducing myself at a sex party by saying "long time sex-haver, first time orgy-doer" and immediately getting asked to leave.

Wow things suck right now huh

Every problem we have as a country can be traced back to the fact that we didn’t hang every Confederate leader and politician after the civil war

this press conference is fucking wild, he’s brandonizing right in front of our eyes

trump getting his feelings hurt by european leaders is the culmination of this new type of guy that emerged in the last decade or so: guy who goes out of his way to be a huge asshole who then gets really offended when the people he's being an asshole to don't like him

The Board of Peace™️

he ain’t sick; but no, he isn’t well either

boy howdy nothing like canceled plans and a rainy day to really make you feel lonely as shit

i don’t know how you can be in the FBI, say you’re going to arrest all of the deep state, quit before you do anything right before the epstein files drop, and think like this lol

Stephen Miller looks like he’s banned from local parks for sniffing the bicycle seats

Thinking about this once again

This masked piece of garbage murdered someone in broad daylight

Abolish ICE New Nuremberg Trials for former ICE officials and officers

jean jacket goofin today

Hopping on real quick to say fuck the American empire, and long live the international proletariat

trans day of visibility whatever I AM UNEMPLOYED AND I MADE A WEIRD LITTLE HORNY ALBUM

Guys we might be doing Vietnam 2 because the president sucked another president’s dick

Cuomo found dead in Queens

Happy Dick Cheney is Dead Day everyone

Ten movies to get to know me

“Hello yes I’m the Evil President, I do evil and whatnot”

Saw this mural of Guy Fieri recently, reminded that there are cathedrals everywhere for those with eyes to see

I was born today a long time ago

Pov: you got a dm from an account you don’t follow

The fact he was wearing a shirt marked “freedom” when his neck got turned into a convertible

Seeing the Philly Phanatic show up to the My Chemical Romance show and throw cheesesteaks into the crowd is the closest I’ve ever come to being in a Paul Verhoeven movie

me walking into Saturday

Millenials/Gen Z are the weirdest parents, the obsession over childhood autonomy right up until it means working. Handing teachers 'gentle parenting guides' and then refusing to read. Half the purpose of reading the same boring story 200 times in a row is to associate reading with enjoyment lol

hey just a periodic reminder that it’s so fucking easy to not be a sex pest that anyone being a sex pest has no excuse

[the writer's barely-disguised fetish voice] i'm like the bene gesserit of creating muscle girls

Vince McMahon: who’s there? show yourself! Hulk Hogan’s ghost: *carrying many chains* IN LIFE I WAS YOUR PARTNER DUDE, THESE ARE THE 24 INCH PYTHONS I FORGED IN LIFE BROTHER

Rest in Piss Hulk Hogan

black sabbath is important to me for a lot of reasons, but like imagine it's 1970 and every other band is doing songs about flowers and shit, and then you have these four gnarly hairy dudes from Birmingham doing songs about nuclear fallout and drug addiction and war, lmao. and it sounds like THAT

BREAKING: Zohran Mamdani speaks from the Forbidden Palace after the retreat of all Cuomindang forces “The People of New York Have Stood Up”

Live feed from the Andrew Cuomo Victory Party where an interruption is taking place

holy shit, nobody showed up

hey guys did something big happen today

Elon molested the servers and the servers went bad

Biden’s prostate: sooooo i did a thiiiiiiing

All the lefties fled to Bluesky following Elon Musk’s Twitter takeover. But CEO Jay Graber says the app is for everyone—and could revolutionize how people beg for sex online

pov: you are inside your duodenum

I want to temper everyone gleefully attributing this Liberal victory to Trump, or his endorsement of the Conservatives. Let’s not forget that Poilievre just absolutely sucks out loud, and did most of the damage to himself. Let’s not take that from him. He’s awful and he lost because of it.

I still remember @idiotwitchamelia.bsky.social introducing this to me when we went to summer camp together, can’t believe it’s been 25 dang years!

So this is an annoyingly common thing. Someone picks a fight with a longtime mutual (@pyrameadhead.wifeguy.online in this case), embarrasses themselves, and then adds me (unrelated party) to a list called "Fascists."

Idk if it can get any clearer than this that he’s not finishing the books, how are people still anticipating it?

Every person with a spectrum disorder has a more valuable life than RFK Jr, and every trans/nb person has a more valuable life than JK Rowling. You are a human with dignity and they are sunken demons

Happy Matt Yglesias Is a Racist Day to those who celebrate

The British Supreme Court can eat the shit out of my toilet

If they actually get rid of DMs on Twitter I might migrate full time lol