I keep going to bed realizing that I haven't done any of the stretches or exercises that I'd planned. So now I have an alarm that goes off at 6:30pm that just says "it helps" because man, they sure do. Do a lil stretch, it helps.

girl... the thrall.....

Uhoh those the were load-bearing witches.

I never noticed this either.

riding the BART train that takes you to Hell

warning to my fellow photosensitives: the Charli XCX Super Bowl ad for Poppi is full of flashing lights and is unsafe for anyone with photosensitivity to view the beginning of the ad looks like this. If you see it, ABANDON SHIP COVER YOUR EYES very grateful to my friends who texted me about this 😭

Timeline cleanse. A baby giraffe was born Monday at Hogle Zoo (Salt Lake City, Utah). Photo by Kennedy Camarena of KSL News.

I met a celebrity today!!!

"Even worms do a little dance🕺🪱" #gladlands

gonna eat the haunted apple

just kinda yearning for a garden ya know

Literally obsessed with this pic I got of one Cedar Waxwing getting very mad at another for drinking in the same spot as him despite there being a whole stream

guys I had to use a ride share app this morning and a tesla pulled up and I honestly could not figure out how to open the door

Happy large boulder the size of a small boulder day for all who celebrate

This is available as a free printable download on my website - download at halseyberryman.com/download :)

I saw a raven yesterday. I know it was a raven and not a crow because I was like iS THAT A FUCKING CAT IN THE TREE. So that's my hot tip if you're having trouble distinguishing the two.

I can't run errands my weasel loves me!!! (volume up for purrs)

I felt like making some art last night/today and could have made something beautiful and/or meaningful but I made this instead. It's a Barbie Yaga Malibu Dream Hut. No regrets. Can't defeat fascism without joy.

David Lynch passed a year ago today. I hope we all can absorb just a little bit of the energy he put out in his lifetime.

we’re in the vet’s office waiting room and they just called for Agamemnon. we all looked at the Great Dane but it turns out Agamemnon is an orange kitten in a backpack that makes him look like an astronaut cheese puff

yeah

does greenland have eggs or something

This wheel is to the boy squirrel the way that the football is to Charlie Brown and it still makes me laugh every time he tries to use it only to be immediately spun.

Listening to the McElroys descend into unhinged chaos is definitely a highlight of the first Monday of every year.

GREAT news we have added a new column to the chessboard and a new piece that can move any direction within a 4-square area called The Drunk

frantically reading the item descriptions on canvas utility bags only to discover that they are for men husband boyfriend contractor dad brother 😔

bye 2025👋

I think there's a new flock of geese at the park or they recently had a bad experience with a person because they keep doing warning honks when I go by and yesterday one hissed at me 😭

I love that I have so many birds visiting the balcony bc 1) I like them 2) the scrub jays have been eating bugs 3) sometimes I'll look over and weasel will be LOCKED TF IN

If you’re doing any sleighing this winter, please be careful. Hearing about a lot of folks getting upsot.

I just watched all three seasons of White Lotus and I think my main takeaway is that rich people sure do have a lot of swimsuits

I had a lovely-ass walk

They say imitation crab is the sincerest form of crab

Happy holidays from your furiends at the zoo ✨ Thanks to Keeper Megan and Keeper Ali for the holiday pics!

silly guy! you can't eat that!!!

happy hogswatch

this is a little awkward but tiny tim actually did die this time

Bro, you doing alright, bro? I saw the autosave icon come on just as you entered the room

Donkey Kong XII: Contemplation of the Divine Self

my creature....

Me: I need you. I can’t go on without you. Why do you want to hurt me? My lower back: Because you turned very slightly to the left.

every day lately feels like this

oops all bangers mountain goats show

girl thinks she's drinks

The Thing (1982, John Carpenter)

The heart attack that took my dad was so sudden and intense that we had no chance of saving him, but plenty of people die from heart attacks that could have been survivable if someone knew the lesser known symptoms. It’s my greatest hope that by sharing this every year, I can spare someone’s life.

The only take you need--and yes, you need this one.

Reading old court transcripts and, I mean, whomst