I'm losing it at this delivery robot getting absolutely smoked by the Brightline train in Florida 🤖🚅

My large son, who is a buffoon and the shame of my life, tried to order milk at the water store

"Okay, boss, what're we puttin' on these signs?" Me, with the world's worst cold and a head full of gunk:

daily no. 215 - Matthew

Sign of the times

Jacob Schittenhardt www.findagrave.com/memorial/900...

lars!

When you're absolutely high off your tits, making a portmanteau of "Tiramisu" and "Umamusume" into "Tiramusume" becomes the absolute funniest shit apparently.

Gift for a friend~

Another old drawing

Of course I have a good retirement program (filling out customer surveys for a chance to win a $500 gift card)

What a hideous monster Simpsons Ricky Gervais is

I made a different version for all the sick and twisted people to use.. PLEASE only use this if you are evil

the last eleven years have been just absolute fucking torture for people that are fundamentally good and honest. i like to think of myself as one of those people, but even if i’m not, it’s been absolute fucking torture for those people.

mirror selfies

🦊👓👔🟥✨ 🪡🧵: @kukalakuku.bsky.social 📸: @shujjawuff.bsky.social

lemon squash my beloved

not sure what i've done to make the youtube algo push me a video of a jazz ensemble composed entirely of extremely talented high school students from across the country performing a piece one of them wrote called "dracula flow 6" but hot damn look at these kids go www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ugnu...

CM for @s-haikkila.bsky.social

Its been a minute since ive drawn Dirtgrub

I've eaten four toasted ciabatta rolls, I don't think I've ever eaten so much bread

freaking out at my Swedish friend about this

*stares directly into the camera*

While this would be an unusual outcome for a civil fraud trial, I believe he should be given the death penalty

I see why unemployed people become alcoholics, I want to work so badly but I can't right now and I'm SO bored and there is literally nothing else to do, I am going insane

What is the point of trying anymore

Not a toy..

Tangential but I'm driven to say it. Services don't lose money. They use money. Money we allocate to them. Businesses lose money, because their primary goal is earning money. Service is secondary. The primary goal of USPS is providing services & its health is measured by offering or losing services.

lmao the eurovision mascot is so ugly I literally screamed at this reveal

English is so fucking stupid, what do you mean "sanction" means both to authorise and to penalise and is used in very similar contexts

This is what my gaming chair looks like when I wake up at 3am

Second HyperNormalisation rewatch this year lfg

Hmmm. I think I'm feeling too positive today. Might watch an Adam Curtis documentary to make myself feel bad again.

portakabin on the nuclear submarine deck. love you britain

Big iced tea matchup on Friday

20 mins study - #art #digitalart #sketch #animalart

wow

thanks to AI our slow and humiliating national suicide will be punctuated by visual media that is so good even a dog could jack off to it

Lil guy #alloart

Have you considered BIRD?

self portrait sketch thingy

It's really hard to replace a good sword

hypnotized #furry #furryart

goat gloat

wearing their get along jersey