I'm looking for volunteers to put away my clean laundry. I'm relentlessly finicky about how things are put away, too, so it should be super fun. Who's in?

ORBÁN CONCEDED

I want this love or none at all.

Lmao

So we’re in the greatest danger from Israel, who has nuclear bombs. Iran, famously, does not

And then one resting bitch face and we’re in the yellow wallpaper

“Your real name is probably Bradworth or Bennett” is devastating from Shock G youtu.be/p_5f6S4dpHo?...

Looking at all the Joined Nov '24 blue dot in a red state emoji-puke resist libs loudly defending Platner and Swalwell, it sure looks like they *need* an amoral monster like Trump to set their baseline of morality. As long as the pedophile king exists, they can justify *anything* in comparison.

I LIKE LONG BASEBALL GAMES

These Royals uniforms are the greatest city connects in history.

Calvin Duncan, a man imprisoned for 30 years before he was exonerated, won an election in New Orleans promising to fix a judicial system that failed him Now, Louisiana Gov. Jeff Landry and the GOP-controlled Legislature are racing to eliminate his job before he can be sworn in

the extent to which so many men are sex pests is just baffling and depressing you can just Not Do That there is shit that's hard for me! remembering to take in the trash cans is hard! checking the calendar is hard! starting a design doc is hard! not being a sex pest: not that hard

Did I summon him with my occasional New Edition posting? Is Rizz like Beetlejuice?

You, years later: Hope what I said didn’t come out wrong. Oh god what if they thought I mea United States Representative to employee: suck me off real quick?

One of the comments to this is like “of all the things to be mad about, not being able to get a credit card is low down the list” and y’all being able to leave shitty men is so important and cannot be done without money.

26 pitches, 23 strikes is just fucking crazy.

My life is dumb today and it’s not even 9am yet

Find something you used to love and love it again. It will make you very happy.

Max Muncy hit three home runs on a night the Dodgers giveaway was an Ohtani bobblehead celebrating a night when Ohtani hit three home runs.

So maybe the whole team should oversleep

Belated BOBBY!

Danny Duffy went down under youtu.be/d9nxxYXs3kw?...

Can I pay Royals TV extra to block the Eric Byrnes Car Shield commercial?

My new purple Nikes shipped. 🎉

The Seattle Mariners' statue reveal for Ichiro Suzuki had, well, one of the more inauspicious mishaps imaginable.

For fucks sake, Kamala, stay down.

No. Im glad we could settle this.

I'd rather not do stuff today.

I love how these drone shots of the K make it look so ridiculously gorgeous. Like y'all want a new stadium? Lol are you fucking kidding me? What's wrong with you? This shit is literally art. If you want me to go along with destroying something, don't remind me how perfect it is.

That double play just got me pregnant.

>Will Stancil had a network of honeypot informants who’d get ice to dump operational information to them >if cover blown, would forward the chats to the guys wives to ruin their marriages

Omg I love the beanie

These are the features we need.

I'm torn today. I love the new city connects, but I hate publicly funded stadiums.

Obviously, I ordered it anyway. If you see me wearing it, please don't look too closely for the inevitable stain.

Hi again, @royals.com Please add a satin baseball jacket, like below, but in purple to my list of requests. Thanks so much.

I think I need purple shoes now.

It is good for our elected officials to have held jobs and paid taxes and stuff! It's also good for them to retire, bitch.

Do the people creating the new clothes understand that they serve helmets full of bbq sauce at the park that will destroy this shirt I need?

Washington Square Park is the cure for concrete cancer. 😎

Nothing like sudden midday nausea.

She really is just the best girl.

Moose senses a disturbance* *Dirtbike

Hello @royals.com I would also like a hat with the heart on it. Thank you.

you do not have to hand it to tucker carlson or marjorie taylor greene or alex jones or megyn kelly. they're all rats who see trump as a sinking ship and they're getting ready to jump in preparation for their next act. you do not have to fall for it.

"i could probably pilot a ship through the straight of hormuz" -next big thing 80% of men secretly believe about themselves

Sometimes we all need a reminder that the 2 Legit 2 Quit video was 14 minutes long and featured James Brown, Eazy E, Ralph Tresvant, Danny Glover, Rob and Fab, Tony Danza, Queen Latifah, Rob & Fab, and Donnie & Marky Mark Wahlberg. youtu.be/HFCv86Olk8E?...

I’m so glad she never grew into her ears