Well, he’s now officially defected to my side 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

Analysis from my American boyfriend [accompanied by a big sigh]: “What a sad little game”.

We’ve entered the period of the evening when I can’t tell whether the “it’s all over now” vagueposts are about Platner, the USMNT or McConnell.

Very many things happening. Not as many as Mexico-England, but the night is young.

Did the FIFA disciplinary committee suspend the U.S. defense

I am begging publications to stop saying "professors" as though there is any homogeny across adjuncts teaching a 6–6 at multiple universities and an Ivy League old guy with a lab who steals his students' work and hasn't taught a class in years.

Am I an England fan? Yes. Do I enjoy every single one of these historical jokes at our expense? Also, yes.

I know that I’ve curated an excellent Bluesky feed because every other World Cup post is a funny history joke.

Goddammit I just realized I’m going to be at a wedding in the middle of the Montanan mountains for the quarter-final 😭

It's the Gulf of England now, I don't make the rules.

HIGH ALTI-JUDE! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

INGLATERRE!!!!!!! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

The World Cup for English tabloid headline writers starts now

11 MINUTES 😭😭

I don’t even want to contemplate how much stoppage time there is going to be.

First half hydration break was apparently nothing but mezcal.

WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!

HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES!!!!

it is impossible to post about this game because something else happens before your finish the last thought

WHAT THE FUCK.

Me trying to manage my emotions during the past 15 minutes.

Ok everyone… we can take a breath 😳

Oh this game is so ON now 😮‍💨

you can stick your altitude up your arse

WHATTTTTT!!!!! In the time I took to post my celebratory skeets, HE DID IT AGAIN!!!

BELLINGHAM!!!!!

Altitude: it’s just fake news! 🙃

So you are telling humans literate in history, culture, arts, and writing are better at conceiving ideas than people getting all their ideas from the same box that also drives them insane?

Ok but seriously, why *aren’t* we doing walk out songs at conferences?

Have begun my celebratory re-watch. This is truly Jeff Goldblum’s finest work.

Paraguay have radicalised me — an Englishman — into being a French supporter.

arrest this ref if he ever even thinks of buying a baguette or a little bit of pâté, he doesn't deserve anything good and French for as long as he lives

Don't forget to keep your laptop and cables on hand today in case aliens attack and you find yourself needing to defend earth by uploading a virus

On this day, I celebrate my favourite president 🫡

Hands down best game of the tournament so far. And my god they were so close 😭

Up until a couple of weeks ago, my only connection to Cape Verde was that my sister once went on vacation there. I am now willing to die for this nation.

Je suis Cabo Verde.

Writing an academic book is 30% research, 30% writing and revising, and 40% crafting veiled but unmistakable barbs against your nemeses in the acknowledgments

Amidst all the Odyssey discourse, I’m spending the evening seeing the best cinematic adaptation 🤌🏻

for those too young to remember: thirty years ago today, space aliens arrived on Earth and destroyed most of human civilization, before being defeated two days later by Jeff Goldblum uploading malware to their mothership’s hard drive using a Windows 95 laptop

The niche politics-sports-meme-commentary on this app is truly top tier.

Pretty fun that both my home and my two adopted nations are all through to the round of 16 (and luckily the draw means I don’t have to pick a side yet 😅) 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇺🇸🇨🇦

Genuinely EXCELLENT goal 🇺🇸

excited for Americans experiencing a terrible referee call for the first time.

Franz Joseph I, after his nephew was assassinated:

Weird that the Guardian doesn't mention that Kermode's wife is a Prof at Exeter... I'm glad people are Noticing Things now, but I wish it wasn't only after it affected them personally.

The World Cup should employ a team of commentator Historians who describe the historical relations and tensions between the two countries over the course of the match.

The outer Harry Kane is identical to every other bad-good lower-middle-elite awkward-diffident English player who ever skied a penalty under pressure; the inner Harry Kane is a zero-at-the-bone assassin without a fuck to give; this combination is perhaps the most confounding thing in all of sports

I take it all back. It’s Coming Home!!!