When I say "according to my research" I mean any of the following: 1. I am making it up 2. My niece sent me a TikTok on the subject 3. I ran my theory by my dog, and he appeared to agree

Trump to make all cocktails illegal after man in LA throws Molotov cocktail at Federal build

If there's anything I care less about than a cat photo it's the 'guy at the gym' photos.

#RandomTelevisionGIF Star Trek

Suddenly everyone is an MRI expert.

My review of The Substance: This movie was unnecessary

(dry heaving) I feel like I'm gonna have an opinion

Remember when twitter brought down a Presidency? Good times.

Decency, is the reward..

Those Somalians must just love ice fishing

I've never heard the word 'honcho' used without 'head.' But what of the lesser honchos?

Ok, I’m being told Joe Biden is in fact still alive. Sorry, I saw a recent picture of him and jumped to a conclusion.

Looking at luxury cruise cuisine, “Where’s the fiber?”

The Jan 6 prosecutions required millions of man hours at a cost of $2.7 billion. All for nothing. Ok, back to those cat posts

Finally getting some theological clarity on the ethics of reclining in one’s plane seat

The rise of the cost of living erased the American dream.

Two people shot! In America!! Call out the National Guard!

Worried because I charged my battery to 100 instead of 80.

First date idea: 13,789,997,975 B.C.E.

Spell check telling me to use ‘a’ not ‘an’ before a vowel, what next single space after a period?

If I were a army private I’d sure feel empowered to not follow illegal orders. Politics is such a fucking joke and the whole system is running on fumes

Oops, forgot to post about yesterday’s Sunday brunch special. It was a good one.

I like the little pfft sound the bus makes

The fact that a business can TEXT you an ad shows how uncivilized we are a culture.

Obama turkey pardons were the best turkey pardons

☺️ What you all on with?

Do you ever wonder what karmic debt we are paying, good people, to be subject to this every day?

running into a burning building to start some more fires

You are all being Robin You need to be Batman

The swastika was a Buddhist symbol of peace and enlightenment for centuries until the Nazi's appropriated it for their own fascist purposes. Now class, can you think of any important words or symbols the current administration has appropriated?

The Dems DO have a plan for this! First off, they need to form a committee and commission a study to formulate how exactly to address the problem. Next, they've got to ask their corporate donors if it's okay to do so. Finally, they need to hold some big fundraising dinners in DC. Problem solved!

Oxnard is my favorite Southern California beach town that's named after cattle balls.

Me, telling my wife that I’m not fond of her couscous casserole

Copilot, when’s my first meeting today “You have no meetings or anything planned.” Copilot, summarize my last email “Certainly. Your Kohl’s Cash expires next Saturday.” No, summarize the email before that one “You earned $5 Kohl’s Cash.” Copilot, schedule my SmartToilet to flush in 20 seconds

drop this pic to reply to the most honky ass crackers on their bullshit

This is the face a man makes when he’s making money out the wazoo

“Consciousness, unprovable by scientific standards, is forever, then, the impossible phantom in the predictable biologic machine, and your every thought a genuine supernatural event. Your every thought is a ghost, dancing.” Happy 72nd birthday to the great mage Alan Moore.

[Ron Swanson voice] Bartender, all the alcohol, please.

"Why do you want to work here" .... uhhh because you are hiring and I am willing to be exploited for my labor so that I don't go hungry or homeless ... please don't make me tell you I've always aspired to be a janitor...

Her Windsong stays on my mind

Please, anyone with an extra pig frog contact mossworm

Every 20 years we find out somebody gave Clinton head like a comet coming back into our orbit.

Setting up new laptop and seeing all the latest dark patterns, consent theaters, nudging's, bloatware, and overall surveillance capitalism mechanisms. Fun.

Nice. I once got a $500 bonus and I thought I was rich.

Anyway the most remarkable thing about all of this is that it will come to nothing.