Thank you Chuck Schumer, for helping me to understand the emotional life of a Mets fan

Maybe some of us were right about the Democrats all along. Nah, that can't be the case.

My dream of living in a country where people can afford to eat, live, and go to the doctor in peace is likely dead. At least in my lifetime. That makes me very sad.

I hate this stupid fucking country and I hate the fucking democrats.

The marketing for this movie was awful and nonexistent. I saw one trailer and nothing else. And that was two days ago.

I can’t look at this and think about Seattle basketball without wanting to [redacted] Howard Schultz and Clay Bennett into oblivion.

War profiteering ghoul.

We just did some of my kid’s senior pictures in Jimmy John’s because if you know her, this is 100% something she would do. This is just a joke photo I took, not an actual senior picture.

Pelosi, like most Dems with power in this moment, wants us to believe she had our interests at hearts & stood against the right. Instead, she used her office for self-enrichment, sabotaged progressives to her left & helped hand the fascists the gun currently aimed at our heads. She truly hates us.

My dog loves snow so much that when we got home and I let her out she ran to the yard and just shoved her face in the snow like it’s was a bowl of cocaine.

One of my traditions is sending my niece who has lived her entire life in Florida a video of the first snow we get. She is always so jealous.

Yeah :D

We’ve got a good old fashioned pre-Dave Clawson Wale Forest versus random Virginia team field goal fest going on in Charlottesville right now. It’s not Frank Beamer celebrating a 6-3 OT win, but it’s close.

Ms. Rachel 2028

BRB going to write a bunch of obits just in case i keel over tomorrow

Just realized that I have to cheer directly against my wife during the Packers/Eagles game on Monday. #GoBirds

WAKE FOREST TOUCHDOWN!!

Me when he left Wake Forest.

Please take a moment to appreciate this very, very small water sausage!

This girl said this is her first time being invited to hang out at a friends house since she got to America and I feel so bad for her that it’s my house because goddamn we are boring.

My kid invited the exchange student to hang out and we got home from picking her up and two of her friends were in her room to surprise her and I need to start locking my doors.

As a recovering alcoholic the only issue I have with being lumped in with him is that his shitty views have nothing to do with his moronic alcohol use.

Me listening to Olivia Rodrigo: “GET THE FUCK OVER HIM!”

Y’all… If you do one thing for me your entire life? Buy my dad’s book when it comes out. It’s incredibly good and you’d be supporting the best person I know. Again, most importantly: it’s SO GOOD. I promise.

wish this dude would shut his stupid fucking mouth for once in his miserable useless life. he was a dogshit football coach. he's a dogshit senator. and once he's no longer in the public space we'll all be far better off for it.

lol a real man!

Christmas sweater season.

Thanks Silicon Valley. It's nice to be reminded that fundamentally this is all still the same bubble that started in 2015. It's just gotten too narrow a pile of shit to stay standing any longer.

Amazing lol. Best poster on here.

Blaming this for why I don’t have 1,000 followers yet lol.

My kid about Frankie: “stop doing that, she’s very sensitive and gets upset if you mock her.” Me: “you know she can’t see this right?” My kid: “it’s the principle of it.”

POV: “Don’t ever stop petting me or I will cry.”

He’s mad because there isn’t a single assault rifle in sight.

My kid knew all of them. The driver (17) is being charged with reckless homicide. He was driving too fast on a country road. My kid has been crying all day. She lost two friends. Social media is a cancer and I had to tell her to stay off of it because all it is is the worst of people. I hate this.

so where are the op-eds about republican overreach today? where’s the commentary about donald trumps war against american citizens or his terror campaign targeting brown people? where’s the pearl clutching over the conservative social media bubble reliant on nazi propagandists?

You guys I think Donald Trump might have dog shit political instincts

The actual Third Way is pooping out of your mouth.

I asked you all to send me the funniest election night posts and this morning for my newsletter, I compiled them all for you! www.burnsnotice.com/the-best-ele...

just want to remind everyone again that zohran is the one cis candidate i am aware of that had his platform on trans rights written by trans people. i think that matters

Who in the actually fuck votes against funding a goddamn library? Your brain has to be so broken to do that.

Woke up this morning to learn that five students from my school were in an accident and one was killed. Absolutely gutting news and literally made me go in and hug my kid while she was sleeping.

I think Matt Walsh is my favorite of the right wing grifters dorks because he tries so hard to act like a tough guy but everything about him screams “tiny dicked loser who will one day be hilariously played by Martin Starr in an Adam McKay comedy about right wing bloggers who all suck.”

Omg I’m dying 😂😂😂…so…So Emily Austin, a right wing 'influencer' who works for Bibi and the GOP, launched 'Hot Girls for Cuomo'. Guess who didn't bother to register the URL when she did that? What do you think Hot Girls for Cuomo dot com leads to now?... 😄 Enjoy. [ HotGirlsforCuomo.com ]

If any of them come to my city I am going to drive them out with a torch!

It’s funny when sex pests and MAGA (one and the same) get their dicks kicked in during an election. You can take joy in it. It doesn’t make you a shitlib or anything. Find the joy you can in life.

For people who still think CNN is some liberal news organization. Scott Walker is a regular guest and now they are hosting Ben Shapiro. Can people stop pretending that there is a left wing major news media organization in America besides The Onion?

I am watching The Walking Dead for the first time and this is the funniest shit ever. Sorry, it just takes itself way too serious for how stupid it is.

The first one I saw was Kamala Harris’ shit ass post, but I refuse to share it. I am so glad she will never be president.