HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!

Neck stiff hhhhALP

Happy 58th birthday to the iconic Kylie Minogue.

mother has always mothered

Can someone ask my boss if she hates me

Cf post and it’s just you being slightly silly I’m going to shit my pant

Conscripted to move heavy things at work again 😔

Marshmallow dilemma….

So anyway

They bit my finger :(

Sorry hole post cancelled because @bostongayboy.bsky.social pointed out that i forgot to crop the screenshot and now its bothering me

Damn ok

I wish working out made me endorphin-y instead of just tired-y

Also they both have mustaches and jaw lines that look like this

Flanked by both of my gym crushes

I’m exhausted lol

Why is everyone i know in Japan right now 何 the fuck

Happy 5/7 to all the 5’7” compact cuties today!

God i fucking LOVE rubbing my eyes like ??? It just really hits every god damn time

Shockingly posting my hog did not dispel the darkness within me

Butthole

Waiting for the thrift store to open

Three of my coworkers came into the office crying and i get to be the emotional buffer

I wish you guys knew how funny i am at work but boner-killer HIPAA cockblocks my online storytelling

Coming into the office for your UTI taking antibiotics from home don’t pmo

They’re doing too much pick a lane

Lmao nobody gaf about these attempts on his life

Also no one commented on my new glasses only on my piss the internet is SICK

I have to pee so bad

Gentleman at the gym has arms bigger than my thigh and I’m afraid it’s working on me

Whatever. Caramelizing onions

Ohuhhhg i had an idea for a skeet but i losted it

Trying to tell my coworker that the goat she sent me on IG is AI and she’s not taking it well

God, it’s hard being hot and autistic

which could mean nothing

Last class of the semester

Eternally grateful I’ve never even had to so much as look at linkedin

Took an Ambien just to feel something

Watched princess Mononoke again for the first time in 15 years and it still slaps

Coworkers did not appreciate my throatmeal (oatmeal) joke

Boss gesticulated wildly and knocked 1/3 of my coffee over onto the desk and me

How seeing the sun and 77 degree weather has me feeling

Patient passed out on me :(

i heard it's #portfolioday

Freeballing at wegmans AMA

I want EVERYONE on this god forsaken app to know i COULD have eaten this entire digiorno pizza myself but chose not to and THAT is true strength