X has changed their policy and now you can see where the accounts are based. Here’s an “influencer from Texas”

Wow. Blackmailing a victim. It is so american nowadays. #UAView

any historian able to tell me what stage of democracy it is in when the leader is saying “off with their heads”

RIP Mani Damn. That bass line to I am the Resurrection is my favourite of all time Such a shame for his kids 😞

Its very very bad that the President publicly posts a statement that, were I to post the same thing about him, would have the FBI knocking on my door.

The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.’ George Orwell, Animal Farm

squirrel: *points gun* me: what do you want me to do? squirrel: *gestures at sign* me: alright, i get it *opens book drop* squirrel: *makes hurry-up motion* me: NOT A SQUIRREL! squirrel: *disappears into book drop* me: *whispers* forgive me, keith

How about this headline, eh? More of this, please.

😬

mr president sir theres a story coming about how you intervened to help a sex criminal. no sir, not that sex criminal you helped….no not that one either…sir, please stop guessing sex criminals that you helped. ill give you a hint sir, hes a trafficker. no sir, not that trafficker a different one

Arsenal defender Gabriel is set for further tests after sustaining a muscle injury in his right thigh, with concerns that he faces between one and two months out. More from @gunnerblog.bsky.social, Mario Cortegana and @david-ornstein.bsky.social ⤵️ 🔗 www.nytimes.com/athletic/681...

Bad news for Man City as the government announces plastic wet wipes are to be banned

How’s everybody’s team looking for the weekend? I have a few issues with mine…

I accidentally drank an invisibility potion I went to A&E last night but I am still waiting to be seen

What perfect album came out the year you turned 16?

Malcolm Nance said these sound like the titles of porn movies.

Donald J. Trump will go down in American history as one of our Fondling Fathers.

Get to know your followers 10 random things you like Radiohead Ween The Microphones Black Country New Road Neutral Milk Hotel The Beatles Sun Kil Moon Sweet Trip Quadeca Brentford I'm a simple man.

Get to know people, name 10 random things you like. Vinyl Lego Star Wars Astronomy 3D Printing Christmas Rum and Coke Chocolate RC Cars Half-Life

New trainers Fresh coffee Jack Daniel’s Badminton Penguins Disneyworld Fossils Freshly cut grass Fantasy novels Live music

Last night I was hit over the head by a violin, then a French horn and finally a tuba. Police say it was an orchestrated attack…

Breaking. People prefer being younger.

🪦

Maybe Keir should demand the heads of major US news networks any time they imply Britain is on the brink of civil war or that we live under sharia law. Or does it not work both ways?

Rooney was right

Captaining Haaland is so boring But not captaining him is like a painful kick in the bollocks

Anyone else tempted to go Semenyo to Mbuemo? Nice fixtures coming up for Semenyo but Bournemouth massively off the boil

Meanwhile, CEOs make 280 times the typical worker today. The system is rigged.

Gabriel last week - 12 points The week before - 9 points Week before that 12 points. Then 9, then 13 The week I captain him This week One fucking point. One.

So glad I captained Gabriel. I broke him

Hey Saka

My mood right now

Just found out that sloths can hold their breath underwater longer than dolphins.

Raise a glass to freedom! 🍻

Saka when he sees the chance to get points

I love it when a plan comes together

In my FPL team I like to reserve a role for “disappointing striker” Last week I relived Joao Pedro of his duties as I felt he couldn’t continue to disappoint so spectacularly. My replacement disappointing striker is Woltemade. I trust he won’t fail to disappoint.

Need a team leak so I can work out whether to stick with Saliba or get him gone for a -4

👇 never gets old

I have a very bad feeling about this...

bloody hell- worst bench point haul Ive ever had 😭

Well that was an abomination Less said the better. Back stronger…

Don't forget — they're not just buying a ballroom. They're buying Trump's favor. [Cartoon by Mike Luckovich]

"Defending." #fpl

Updating my LEGO White House

Every time…