In the annals of unsolved crime cases, this is a VERY BIG DEAL

Even in his most fevered, drunken dreams, Richard Milhous Nixon couldn't possibly have even imagined doing a tenth of this shit.

Something touched me deep inside The day the escalator died 🎵

Of all the things I hate Trump for, making me side with James Fucking Comey may top the damn list.

How was the rapture you guys

@triviateamnames.bsky.social Is Anyone Missing a Baby?

@triviateamnames.bsky.social What's A Girl Gotta Do To Get Raptured Around Here

Happy Rapture Day to those who celebrate

People are making Rapture jokes like there's no tomorrow

I'm reporting all my neighbors to the FBI for not putting up any Kirkmas decorations yet

@triviateamnames.bsky.social In God We Hush

Silencing smart people so dumb people won’t be offended is like unplugging the smoke alarm so the fire won’t feel bad.

"If ████ ████ ████ ████ ████, and ████ ████ ████ ████ is ████ ████ ████ ████ ████." ~ George Orwell

ABC announces its new Head of Programming

The real crime is that Adam Carolla still walks around unscathed

We are in an assholocracy.

What you're all not getting is that Melania is simply promoting the Mortal Kombat movie coming out next month

@triviateamnames.bsky.social Dead Nazis Society

Therapist: you should write letters to your enemies, then set them on fire Me: OK, but then what do I do with the letters?

Saying nice things is now illegal. As is saying mean things. Everyone has to just shut the fuck up.

My friend David had his ID stolen. Now we just call him Dav

When's the last time you thought about Rush Limbaugh? When's the last time you thought about Andrew Breitbart? Exactly. That's truly the best way to memorialize Charlie Kirk: don't think about him, talk about him, or repeat his words. Just let his existence fade into the void.

great day to repost people saying the thing you wanna say rather than saying the thing yourself

"That one should not speak ill of the dead is arguably appropriate when a private person dies, but it is wildly inappropriate for the death of a controversial public figure, particularly one who wielded significant influence of political power."

"To the living we owe respect; to the dead we owe only the truth" ~ Voltaire

How long after my flu shot until I'm artistic?

@triviateamnames.bsky.social Department of GWAR

BREAKING NEWS: Trump has changed Melania’s name to Ivanka.

@triviateamnames.bsky.social Pube Doodlers

Man, this Epstein story just won't hang itself, will it

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it

I'm having a hard time accepting the fact that someone is actually named 'Brock Purdy'.

Think about this, by the end of the regime pictured here, there will be no more elections

He's still dead to me

@triviateamnames.bsky.social Mortuary-A-Lago

I hear Mexico is going to pay for the funeral

BREAKING: White House releases new photo of Donald Trump at the U.S. Open today

RFK Jr., driving away with Rudy Guliani tied to the roof of his car

28 years ago today.

"I still love America I just don't know how to get there anymore" ~ John Prine

Fun fact: The reason the car takes off into the clouds at the end of "Grease" is because Danny Zuko died when he saved Sandy from drowning in the beginning. The rest of the movie depicts Danny in the joyful Buddhist bardo state before he enters the afterlife for rebirth.

I say this with love: Meghan Markle is the patron saint of basic bitches. 🌻🌼🌸🌹🌷

Taylor Swift thinks she's an English teacher?

@triviateamnames.bsky.social The Life of a Showgirl's Tight End

Hello, I joined Nov ‘24 and I have incredibly shitty opinions

I'm going to name my next kid "Spam Risk," so nobody ever answers their call