Whether it's liberal musicians encouraging people to send aid to starving Africans at Christmas or conservative politicians bombing African hospitals on Christams, both sides have made some provocative Christmas African statements.

My next door neighbor doesn’t shovel her sidewalk, or her steps. She appears to be young and able bodied. Would it be tacky to suggest she hire my children to do it? We are expecting anywhere from 6-12” of snow by tomorrow morning.

Woke up dreaming I had to text somebody about something so here I am eating my Cheerios at 3:00 AM on a Sunday morning.

It is merely a lust of the blood and a permission of the will.

Little local history

50 B.C. Queen Cleopatra of Egypt credited the pickles in her diet with contributing to her health and legendary beauty. Meanwhile, Cleopatra's lover Julius Caesar and other Roman emperors gave pickles to their troops to eat in the belief that they would make them strong.

At the museum of poison

They say imitation crab is the sincerest form of crab

My Strange But True Feats of the Year just keep on coming Today it’s the weirdest injuries of 2025 You know what was hazardous to baseball players’ health? Home run trots, bathroom breaks and Target runs gone bad www.nytimes.com/athletic/692...

I seem to have dropped off a number of Xmas card lists this year.

I came out of cryo-freeze for this?

Still, they acknowledge that the outcome of any meeting with Trump is unpredictable. “There is no low-risk scenario with Trump,” said one NATO official.

Karma knows your address.

Received my Dick Stigman autograph back today. 37 days. #cardsky #TTM

now for the traditional eating of the christmas tree

Happy Lemmy Christmas! youtu.be/dsqC6HRS8Lc?...

hey, Santa died for your sins with three wise men and a box of frankincense in a manger with god’s dad or whatever so, be kind to others

Santa Tracker Shows Sleigh Stopped For 40 Minutes Outside Old Girlfriend’s House — theonion.com/santa-tracke...

Can’t wait for the new year. I bet 1986 is gonna be bitchin’ and awesome

Received a box of Chrome Update from my wife, and half of them are miscut. Will Topps do anything for me if I write? #cardsky

Commissioner Gordon doesn’t open the gift on-panel. Does the label read “Bat-tobacco,” or “To-Bat-co?”

Nobody start claiming that 2026 is gonna be "your year." We're gonna walk in and do what we gotta do. Don't touch nothing and don't ask for shit or you're getting jumped when we get in the parking lot.

Damn I didn’t win the powerball last night. Where’s my Christmas miracle?

tiny tim is dead guys

Hey Gang, I Will Get Him This Year! Merry Christmas To All Of Ya!

Uh-oh Santa brought us some bootleg Pokémon cards

a lot of people don't realize that Christmas carols and traditions are actually folk memories of suppressed pre-Christian events, namely the end of the Third Age and the Fall of Sauron.

Among the comments Trump made to children: When asked by a child from Oklahoma why Santa Claus is being tracked, he said: "We want to make sure that he's not infiltrated, that we are not infiltrating into our country a bad Santa." He also told the child, "Don’t ever leave Oklahoma."

i always forget, are people celebrating the birth of christ or his monster

Ozempic penis. I don’t like the sound of that.

a grinch is the offspring of a who and a sneetch. and like a mule, is genetically sterile

My order which was guaranteed to be here today is currently languishing in Tennessee. Doesn’t look good.

I called NORAD today.

“The longer I live, the more convinced I am that this planet is used by other planets as a lunatic asylum.” - George Bernard Shaw

You know those stories about how the magic of Christmas miraculously restores your faith in humanity? It isn't working.

Charles Shithouse United States, Census, 1850

Dick Enrico died.

Lee Zeldin’s Midtown Chrysler Jeep Eagle

12 hour day on tap. I’m here for a long time, not a good time.

“The US Navy will lead the design of these ships along with me because I’m a very aesthetic person,” Trump said.

Where’s my Santa Claus rally?

Good god I haven’t heard this much Wham since the ‘80’s.