Breaking: Key figure in the Epstein Files, known for his friendship with Epstein, launches a war in a bid to distract from Epstein Files.

If you liked his healthcare plan, you’re gonna LOVE his Iran war plan.

I promise you that the government that murdered Alex Pretti and Renee Good does not give a flying fuck about the protests in Iran.

He’s wagging the dogs. He’s wagging the cats…

This aged well. Note the author.

Damn. He’s going way past “wagging the dog”

I’m substituting USA for Iran every time I hear: Iran needs regime change. Iran needs freedom from its despotic leader. Etc Etc

I’m. With. Her. 💪

All y'all going to jail

At the Winter Olympics, American female athletes won 61% of the total medals (20 out of 33) and 67% of the gold medals (8 out of 12) awarded to the US - the third time IN A ROW American women outperformed American men at the Winter Games. And they’ve never embarrassed the nation while doing it.

For all those who didn't watch tonight, allow me to summarize: The liar lied again.

Kash thinks the Olympic hockey team members are his real friends and his girlfriend really loves him.

Who run the world?

Soooo, it we r arresting Epstein buddies on their bdays—the orange guy on the left has one on 6/14. But we r totally cool with celebrating sooner.

Happy birthday to youuuuuuu!

Trump virus infects all who surround him. Crazy can be caught.

My advice? Skip the SOTU and watch Colbert’s interview with Talarico interview on YouTube instead.

Oh and how it has backfired. I guess networks didn’t learn their lesson after the Kimmel fiasco. 🤷‍♀️ And how many younger people even tune into broadcast tv? Another miscalculation.

Hockey is better when it's girls.

Olympic athletes retiring at 28 while a slippery shower is a direct threat to 1/3 of the U.S. legislative body.

I can’t love this enough! 😆

So, what I’m getting from Pam Bondi is that pedophilia is ok as long as the stock market is up??!! Ffs.

U.K. might lose a prime minister because a guy who worked for him knew another guy who hung out with Epstein. Meanwhile the U.S. opposition party is telling our President, who was Epstein's best friend, that his secret police should get better training so their public street murders look less messy.

I love the singer from Puerto Rico. It’s the president of Puerto Rico I loathe.

The man who told reporters it’s time to move on from the Epstein files won’t shut up about the 2020 election.

Parade of athletes vs parade of douchebags

It's obvious but still striking to consider that we have a United States government driven solely by one man's emotional dysregulation and dysfunction.

Perhaps she can verbalize this same statement to her boss.

Yes, FBI? I’m calling to report a murder.

Jesus Christ. Waking up everyday with this man in charge of the country is like feeding your mental health into a woodchipper.

Happy to see so many young artists speak out against ICE and this admin during the Grammys. Gives me hope. 👊

ICE OUT!! ~~Bad Bunny. Making MAGA heads explode everywhere. 😚

Heroes come in many forms and this is one of them

At this rate, he'll have to release the Epstein files to get people to stop talking about Minnesota.

Bovino is just the patsy - a noxious and odious fall guy. Stephen Miller is the architect and prime mover of the whole thing. Everything they do is at his direction - often after his threats. As long as he runs policy in the WH, nothing will change no matter how many Bovinos come and go.

I’d almost forgotten how much I hate Gym Jordan.

If all this shit keeps up, I’m gonna need more books & cats…

Special Counsel Jack Smith in his Opening Remarks:

Well thank god we are detaining 5yr olds bc we all know they are the worst criminals. Wasting juice boxes and drawing on walls are a but a few of the violent crimes FFS Congress. Wake up and stop this madness.

Ffs he can’t even remember the name of the country he wants to fucking invade. WHEN WILL IT BE ENOUGH, CONGRESS????

So the GOP is scared of him and his demented followers WTF do they think all of America is feeling?? Grow a spine and protect the millions of people who have the most to lose once he fully destroys this country

This is on you, Congress. Every single member of Congress who does not support impeachment, removal, and prosecution right now is complicit.

More of this, please.

Another case of “bleeding ear” syndrome. 🙄

Legend

A felon who married an immigrant is telling a lot of y’all that the problems in this country all stem from felons and immigrants. But keep buying that stupid red hat that’s made in China.

If "never leave your drink unattended" were a person.