The past 10 years have been the dumbest heist movie I’ve ever seen, Apple Dumpling Gang level stuff but not funny at all.

The different lifespans of Bluesky topical jokes: The Cortiner Window: 10.5 hours The Rapture Window: 32 hours The Couchfucker Window: 240 hours The Butthole Window: ∞

joining the war on escalators and windmills. on the side of escalators and windmills

The older I get the worse my sense of time is. Every day, I have to keep reminding myself what day of the week it is. Luckily, today is Friday.

I miss my 50-year streak of not knowing who the Secretary of Health is or anything about them.

Had a bit of engine trouble on the first ride of the season

I created the strategy below - what do you guys think ?

Sometimes I get overwhelmed at work and I have to hide in the bathroom. Yes, I do work from home.

We are so back

Fucking Meryl Streep.

Per CNN, Comey is surrendering tomorrow morning.

Smells like Versailles before the French revolution...

"The sheer number of American elites willing to acquiesce to the destruction of democratic institutions is demoralizing. But it’s worth noting that many ordinary people seem to be made of sterner stuff." www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archiv...

if four Canadians arrive at a 4-way stop at the same time they will all eventually die there

If only the country had an opposition political party

"Additionally, we will be charging a 30% Tariff on Upholstered Furniture"

thinking back to simpler and carefree times (when fantasy island came on right after love boat)

Sen. Lisa Murkowski was the deciding vote to not release the Epstein files. Now the survivors are striking back.

An idea struck me and I need to work out the details but it's nacho lasagna basically is this already a thing

Feed cleanser.

10/10 no notes

The Trump administration has said it intends to audit exhibitions and holdings at eight Smithsonian Institution museums to determine whether they align with the "President's directive to celebrate American exceptionalism, remove divisive [and] partisan narratives.” www.npr.org/2025/09/24/n...

Comey indicted and Hegseth calling an emergency meeting with all the generals doesn’t bode well for whatever’s left of the rule of law. They know they’re going to lose the midterms so they might as well go full Mussolini now. (See, I didn’t call them “nazis”, JD 😉)

UPDATE: The Comey criminal case, at least for now. has been assigned to Judge Michael NACHMANOFF, an appointee of Joe Biden. www.politico.com/news/2025/09...

People who should be charged for lying to Congress.

They’re being re-deployed around the country to defend escalators.

We're going to prevail, G'damnit. No...not just because failure is not an option. No, no, no. It's also...and...likely even predominantly because...F*CK that guy.

I need to carry a sign like this

NEW: The U.S. has long lagged behind other wealthy countries in reducing its stillbirth rate. Now a new five-year, $37 million NIH consortium will prioritize this public health issue. “There’s no question that the ProPublica reporting was intimately tied to this,” one expert said.

In his first public remarks since leaving the Justice Department, Smith said he's sad and angry about the dismissals of career public servants and the loss of credibility the DOJ has suffered.

President Donald Trump announced Thursday that the U.S. will impose a 100% tariff on “all any branded or patented Pharmaceutical Product” entering the country from Oct. 1. The measure will not apply to companies building drug manufacturing plants in the U.S., Trump added.

Maryland-based Sinclair is keeping Jimmy Kimmel Live off the air on over 40 ABC stations in the DMV, including local station WJLA-TV/ABC7. DC MD VA area residents have to find other ways to watch the show - see below for more info on how to watch.

#BOTD Early on: More recently:

growth has been flat on bsky ever since a certain someone died it’s like people don’t want to be targets for an increasingly unhinged administration and to that I say okay sure but you’re missing some excellent shitposting

This is Annie. She is a dental therapy dog. Her job is to help patients experiencing anxiety by providing emotional support. While dentists go through years of schooling to treat patients Annie is able to lower their blood pressure and reduce anxiety just by being there. 14/10 (TT: funny.bunny9215)

BREAKING Troy Edwards, James Comey’s son-in-law, has resigned from the Department of Justice. Edward’s as a prosecutor in the same office that just indicted his father-in-law.

It takes me 9 seconds to write a text and 17 minutes to find the right emoji to add to it

ILLINOIS!!! Show up and show out at the Broadview ICE facility tomorrow morning. Join us in peacefully protesting for our neighbors. The pressure is mounting — let’s get this inhumane facility shut down. 1930 Beach Street. 7-9 AM.

Patel is basically admitting on camera that the FBI no longer adheres to the Attorney General Guidelines, which prohibits investigating U.S. persons based solely on First Amendment activity (including membership in a group).

First date idea MM DD YYYY Second date idea DD MM YYYY

When international friends ask me how all of this shit is going down in the US:

Trump To Travel With Own Escalator Following U.N. Embarrassment

Looks like JD Vance will be paying more for his couches!

Sometimes I can’t tell if it is better for these folks to stay or do this. Either way, admirable.

I really thought I was gonna have to stop, drop and roll more in my life.