my cousin got raptured by sitting bare-assed on a bus seat once

I fixed it for him

check this out if how people talk about Power is your jam. also I coin the term *Splimer* for "splinter of a primer" and that's just fun

check this out if how people talk about Power is your jam. also I coin the term *Splimer* for "splinter of a primer" and that's just fun

🎶And I think to myself What a wonderful Woooooooooorld🎶

Dunston Chiggity-Checks In

I fixed it for him

do u think it would overload ur phone if u turned on notifications for all ur apps at once? just nonstop declarations of 20% of something you've never heard of until ur phone gives up the will to go on.

are there any ill effects from second-hand raptures?

my cousin got raptured by sitting bare-assed on a bus seat once

[getting tangled in power lines while being Raptured] oh jezzzzzzzus

My dog is so smart she knows her name AND the 30 nicknames we've given her

Men would rather go to theraptures instead of therapy

gm

it just kinda makes me giggle nbd

I can see your secret shame

if you let your banana bones ripen fully they become Banana Nic Cages

Becoming immortal one Faberge omelet at a time.

Subtly downgrade a band Bio-hey-be-careful-with-that

gm

"Babe, don't forget to pick up some horny tahini from the store, I feel like having some horny falafel tonight."

tfw people mistake me for a chimichanga

split personalities like the movie 'Split' with James McAvoy but instead of holding Anya Taylor Joy hostage it's just one me going through my own posts and saying "Damn you fell off" and another me saying "Ooh I needed that"

🖤

I'm red pilled but it's just a white tictac dipped in wine

tfw people mistake me for a chimichanga

"Babe, don't forget to pick up some horny tahini from the store, I feel like having some horny falafel tonight."

Canseco had a very funny Twitter account because 90% of the posts were either inviting you to meet him at his car wash for an autograph signing or about how much A-Rod sucked, but 10% of it was "I met bigfoot and am looking for bigfoot experts to share my evidence"

Under the moonlight, you see a sight that almost stops your heart

Elon did politics the right way and these left wing lunatics fucking killed him

Guess what guys aka everyone that wanted to buy a print! www.inprnt.com/gallery/pigs...

wtf is this

we need more Weird People Who Are Friends

don't throw away your old grocery bags you can use them for amazing arts and crafts projects like "bag full of other grocery bags", "lone grocery bag in the corner of the kitchen", and "what's that smell did you save the bag that had the meat in it"

my brain keeps doing flips trying to put this image into a normal human posture

smokin' on that shit that's meemaw

gm

Hey, you sold me a dead human! What the shit?

Science needs to create luck dragons before any billionaires do. This is the true Space Race of our age.

Nice fit of pique, bro, but you really need to learn to balance your humors better fr.

Future historians trying to piece together our age's Myth of Kokomo

loving the new liberal messaging

BREAKING: US Department of Health is officially changing the word *Woman* to *Meat Decanter*

me in the family group-text

#MinCup25 #R2M4 It's truly a battle of the UV dynamos. For this match we have two fluorescent beauties facing off in what promises to be a good match. We have #carpathite the very rare hydrocarbon versus #tugtupite the silicate relative of sodalite Battle of the glowing stones Pics below Vote!