Smokin a beer

Caffeine might actually be the most goated drug

:)

Republicans Soon to Legalize Demon Porn in 17 States Find Out When

does anybody want to go to hot topic and browse clearance t shirts

Dreamed(?) the mantis doctor did an operation in my butthole last night

yesterday somebody wacced out my mutual

You don't see as many boobs these days

smokin on the ol' barack obama

There's a massive, gargantuan turd in the center of the room - the mother of all turds - and we're all watching as it floats up towards the ceiling fan. America

Cortizone-10 actually sounds sick as hell

I propose we launch the state of *hio out to sea. Hawai-o

All the people in my dream last night were cracking tf up about Charlie Kirk

- Exploring the system of tunnels beneath my house. If anyone needs me, ask the ghosts

I'm my best self when I'm high as balls, and simply put, I don't like to deprive others of being around the best version of my self

Get outside today You're low on vitamin N You know that stands for nature, homie

The technician at the blood draw lab took 6 vials of my blood.. Also, she kept licking her lips as she switched the vials out! Also her name tag said "Mrs Dracula"

Stop sending me these

If you read the Addams family manga, it's strongly implied that Uncle Fester did not abide by the Bushido code. What's more, Fester HATED the samurai, believing them merely to be tools of the oppressor. "There is no honor in aligning yourself against the common man," - Uncle Fester

I smell weed outside and I'm almost positive it's not me!! Hell yeah

I found out what your deal is

the devious tall Mantises roam the universe stuffing syrian rue into everyone's joints. you must watch out for them. you hear a clicking sound as you enter your weed room and you better check your joints. Mantises were in there rueing them up

I ate the rainbow pretzel; see you on the other side

what do you mean you cant find me in the parking lot i called you on your mario

going to hang out with this dude this weekend not sure about his whole situation but everyone else is acting like its no big deal so im just going to try to stay cool

I keep thinking about this scene in Sleepaway Camp 2 where Angela is pushing a girl into an outhouse hole with a log and saying “Get in the toilet” Sometimes I feel like Angela and sometimes I feel like the girl in the toilet and sometimes it’s both at the same time.

Fuck around and find out eh

I'm eating "breakfast belvita CRUNCHY" and kicking ass

by adding frankincense and myrrh to my Vicks, I've concocted a holy vaporub

Sometimes I wonder what I'd be like if I hadn't accidentally dabbed a Parmesan cheese crumb .. What % of my full power am I missing

You know the hand soap in public restrooms isn't real because you can wash your hands 2-3 times and your fingers will still smell like bbq sauce. As opposed to One wash at home with bar soap and I'm smelling dandy

Cleaned out the garage with a scrub brush today! Feels good

Ozzy was right about the sweet leaf

New beavis and butthead is truly incredible

Cracking tf up reading about "cock and ball torture"

it’s patriotic to let your country’s rich guys enslave you

I'm smoking on the Mac-1 this morning before I detail my car. It is still morning to me, nobody can tell me what time it is. And no, I would never smoke the Mac-2, ... I wouldn't even dream of it

Sneaking out to the garage to go sniff my tires...

The wipers on my Subaru actually do smell like vanilla! Da shiiii

Soaps have been tasting sweeter these days

Bad news for my haters: I'm steadily approaching full power. Choo choo, mf

my falconer brought me this bullshit today and said it's a new kind of falcon. told him its clearly some other bird and he kept saying "it's a new falcon. it's a round falcon" and stuff like that. i dont want a round falcon man

nothing is more depressing than music or porno generated by a computer and i used to live in ohio so i have a firm grip on what is depressing

What kind of weed rig do you reckon Ben Franklin was rocking with?

never forget that a kind word can uplift someone you've never met, leaving the world better off than if you hadn't written it

share apple with cow

what will he get himself into next?! -MRNT