I'm probably not allowed to have an email autoreply that says "leave me the fuck alone," am I

probably just because no one likes him

First workday song is for any Cheryls out there: youtu.be/W5mdMdUPMWk?...

He-Man was truly a trailblazer in the sharing of pronouns

why would a paper even comment on this. who gives a fuck. if I had to be in the meeting about whether to comment on this I would have thrown such a tantrum

A very rare work thing has happened: I said (nicely, professionally) "you can do that yourself" in response to a request of me and they said "cool, I will do it myself." AMAZING

the boulder in me recognizes the boulder in you (size to be determined)

First workday song (working early because I have to talk to London) (sternly) (they know what they did): youtu.be/BfF8qaliQbo?...

oh noooooooo the dumbfucks are having a bad time

First workday song = extremely chilly ambient for my nerves: youtu.be/lPPL7AnRcow?...

Hilarious excuse, I'm dying

the moderate position is abolish and prosecute

It's crazy how much better/more vibrant the Fox football broadcast is over CBS. Better directed, better sound production, just better in every way. I want Film Studies people to discuss this with

My sensations were strange. Let me try to explain them.

I can't stop saying "Zach Top? Zactop?" in all sorts of stupid accents

I didn't know there was a Man of the Year for every team! That really devalues the term "Man of the Year"

Okay, no more aerial shots of Denver, jeez that is one architecturally uninspiring city

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

Statistical distance term of the day: the Kullback–Leibler divergence

Reaching yet another THIS WILL NEVER BE DONE IF YOU DON'T STOP FUCKING WITH IT inflection point at work

A quick and inconsequential brag: I am extremely fast and skilled at grocery shopping. I know what I want, I know where it is, I'll bag it myself, I'm done and on my way, goodbye.

First workday song: youtu.be/p3pJyeCzVuM?...

I think they parade stupid Bovino around and hope someone shoots him, as an excuse to go even bigger with the fash. Everything is so gross

First workday song: youtu.be/-JsMs0urny4?...

My spicy hip-hop take is that while Public Enemy was important musically and historically, Chuck D is not a good rapper.

Dancing at Neo in 1995 would fix me www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bwE...

First workday song: youtu.be/9YzBTuBFqWM?...

It's dumb to complain about the cold considering where I choose to live but we are really in a special Miltonian hell this week

Me nodding along at the dermatologist's office while she says to limit very hot showers because they only dry you out more Me at home: steaming like a steamed clam

Rams kicker is 23 years old? Did they leave him out in the wind or something?

Fuck these refs. Even Hochuli the Lesser

Strange call, Ben.

Verbal assault or, as it's legally known, "not assault"

There's so much good shit growing that smells so good. Pine trees! Cinnamon! Rosemary! Lemons! It's a good planet y'all

I don't think (although pleased) I will be overjoyed when he dies (soon), because processes and safeguards have been rather thoroughly fucked and it's going to take a lot of political will (not in evidence) to change that.

I was supposed to pick up Aaron for our gym date at 10, but instead I took a morning nap, read the clock wrong on waking, and rushed out to get him at 9. What the fuck? Pre-gym donut it is, I guess.

I can't stand all the crime stories from the '70s and '80s where a teen goes missing and police shrug, "probably a runaway." What, we're just going to be like "he's 15, it's his life"!!?!? No!

The oldest known living land animal is a gay tortoise named Jonathan: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonatha...

First workday song: youtu.be/WW8VmSfYLAU?...

First workday song: youtu.be/6NJ5AGq4PnY?...

Hear me out: David Costabile to star in a Schubert biopic

Would you like another small one? mimismartypants.com/2026/01/14/e...

Dear Desk Candle, you were a pretty expensive candle to be burning so poorly. Do better.

First workday song: youtu.be/im6xw0sr2EU?...

I have one cat I have to pet Exactly Right or he'll be so offended and one cat who wants nothing more than for me to palm his entire face and smoosh his little cranium like a stress ball. Balance.

First workday song from a band that will be here (Chicago) in the spring and I will be there too youtu.be/vLldYqAcCm4?...

For my job, I am waiting on some data and when I get it I will have to spring into action and do hours and hours of work. So I am continually anticipating somethng horrible. Just like America!

I might be able to get something done if you buttmunches would stop making me GO TO MEETINGS

honestly: what the fuck?