This? This right here?! Pretty much all exceptional stuff. It’s “The Player” for 2025 (with wonderful and appropriate homages) But with less murder of people and more murder of dignity. My favourite show of the year so far, easily.

As the Israelification of America blunders on like a fat, masked, armed racist buffoon so the Americanification of Britain hurries to catch up like a wheezy minimum wage arsehole yearning to take it out on someone, ideally a foreign teenager. Fuck this shit, we're better than this.

The 3 seconds that follow this.

I think given when he’s died, we should give it three days and then check again, just to be on the safe side.

JD Vance —

I feel at this stage it’s time for a female pope or a pope of colour. They should get Russell T Davies to reboot the papacy.

😂😂😂😂

All dignity, all credibility gone, destroyed in just a few months. "The White House" - incredible. It's like watching someone losing their fucking mind, every day another mad hateful cry for help. Is it time to section America?

The real question is, why WOULDN’T you tie the knot in a country that so beautifully blurs the lines between a poo and a fart?

As a person aged 31, I’ve been dreaming about watching a remake of Another Round ever since I was a person aged just 28.

"This is for not holding a bring and buy sale, and for mocking the advent crown"

Being alerted to WWE Wrestler Cody Rhodes doing THIS to John Cena whilst wearing a fucking Blue Peter badge is genuinely nothing short of SPECTACULAR.

I could tell Singapore was living light years ahead of us, but having Severance here took me by surprise.

Infinitely more impressed by Tuchel's pre and post match interviews than I was by either his appointment or his first match in charge.

Fun fact. I was once asked "FOR CHARITY" to take a video of myself gunging myself "FOR CHARITY" and erm....so I did. "FOR CHARITY" I received a package and mixed the gunge before (fully clothed) pouring it over my own head. On video. Years later I don't think it was for charity. Also not a fun fact.

I’ll be honest. For me it’s gotta be DMX “Keep your shit the hardest.” Mostly because:...pardon?

I’m doing some lovely improv tonight. All welcome x

Of course

Jason Tindall is gonna fight his way to lift the trophy first isn’t he?

me in 2005: Jurassic Park is unrealistic because it's a movie about a dinosaur theme park me in 2025: Jurassic Park is unrealistic because the rich CEO of the dinosaur park is not immediately handed complete control of the US National Park Service

Zirkzee trotting around like a fucking show pony in the lead up to that equaliser is playing on my mind.

That accidentally brilliant Trossard touch reminds me of a certain other Arsenal players accidentally brilliant first touch before score. ….I’m talking about Dennis Bergkamp vs Newcastle of course.

Absolutely incredible the people who log on to let everyone know they don't understand jokes. Ma'am you don't have to reply to every post you see. It's fine.

With some of the news I’m seeing, these times I’d love nothing more than to punch my TV and pretend it helps fix it.

How long until Andrew Tate and his gaggle of cunts get either their own reality tv show or a paycheck to appear on a reality TV show? And where/what will it be d’ya think?

Hojlund’s not totally without blame for his lack of goals but Dalot not even attempting to find him first time here is a reminder of why else he’s finding it tough

First Trump gets reelected and now a nutrigrain bar with no jam?!? What’s the fucking point in life anymore?

Hi gang. My films ‘In The Loop’ and ‘The Death of Stalin’ are on #BBCFour this evening, at 9pm and 10.40pm. Do enjoy if you’re a fan of repeated threat.

I can’t tell whether I feel seen or attacked. Probably ‘seen’ then ‘attacked.’

your not wrong, also explains the Kardashians....beauty industry, social media influencers and the rise in far right grift.

Ok look, it’s not often I’ll pick up my phone while watching something. But I’m finally getting around to “Spirited Away” which I’ve been told is ‘beautiful’ and even ‘life altering’. I’m at the bit where the young girl has just pulled a bicycle out of a giant walking turd and I’m beyond baffled.

Very funny that the email about not leaking things has been leaked

I was gonna say “Following a Nazi salute with “amen” is peak ‘The Onion’” But not even those geniuses could think of anything this fucking farcical.

The older I get the more pissed off I get at the most mundane shit. Is that a genuine symptom of getting older or just a stereotype? Is the connection as simple as “I don’t have as much time for your shit as I did 10 years ago.”?

I curse so I don’t have an aneurysm. Thank you for understanding.

It should never have been allowed to happen in the first place without some kind of intervention. What’s equally wrong is that there’s been so little in the way of pressure on the Glazers since - especially when PL clubs have unanimously agreed and voted against leveraged buyouts.

The only thing worse about watching that Spurs vs Man United match was this Volvo advert afterwards. Join me in suffering through it. Remember, it’s an advert for a fucking car. youtu.be/cQX-QXxwGvA?...

Everyone signing up for a social media account should be forced to tick a box that says: "I accept that not every post is aimed at, or about me." Facebook absolutely broke so many people's brains.

As this is social media let me put a disclaimer at the top of this: I don’t have a problem at all with the dynamics or the storyline at all (aka I truly do not care)

It is the darkest of all possible humor that Disney is publicly rolling back their DEI initiatives and removing content warnings from older, racially-insensitive work on the same week that they are releasing a new MCU movie with a Black man as Captain America.

Everton(?!?!?!) making me THIS happy?!…. …. …. EVERTON?!? 😂😂😂😂

Getting out of bed in London on any given day.

Megachurch Conducts Successful Nuclear Missile Test | Onion News Network While Supreme Pastor Joel Osteen has fired ballistic missiles off the Gulf Coast before, today marks the first time Lakewood Church has tested nuclear weapons.

Nothing better than seeing the original “thing” that inspired some of your favourite things: Obvious example: “This is Spinal Tap” - “The Office” Or, as I realised recently: “They Live” inspiring…Duke Nukem 3D?!

Can't wait for the NYT headline: Could Gaza's 'Humanitarian Colonialization' Actually Work?

New Jurassic Park trailer then. Someone PLEASE answer me this. Just how the fuck have children managed to get shoehorned into so many of those films? Especially this one?! Is it a requirement? Seeing one pop up in the trailer of this was jarring! The first film is the only one where it made sense.

So, is that a sort of...'ethnic' clean-out or...