THE FLY (1986)

He wants to murder you.

Shit. I just realised that I am the same age and LOOK EXACTLY LIKE Alan Rickman in Die Hard

THE FLY (1986)

And when you saw only one set of footprints on the beach? That was the invisible killer robot I invented to wreak revenge on my enemies.

I’m now so old I don’t recognise half the Knives Out cast

Going to like and retweet this

Why “water sommelier” when M’aitre d’H20tel was right there

*sits backward on his chair* Sabrina Carpenter? You know who else was a carpenter?

The plural is Carls Junior — like Attorneys General

*sits backward on his chair* Sabrina Carpenter? You know who else was a carpenter?

Happy Skynet becomes self-aware day, don’t forget to leave out your chatgpt prompts tonight or the machines might not come

She’s a 10 but she doesn’t outline

She’s a 10 but she doesn’t outline

I quite like “Ground Control to Major Tom”

Is he using THE SUBSTANCE?

Question asked in complete earnestness: is it the demons who are KPOP and they are being hunted? Or the demon hunters who are KPOP and the demons they’re hunting are just standard everyday demons?

Is he using THE SUBSTANCE?

If he’s male, then strictly speaking he’s a draculo

“Welcome to… JURASSIC PARK!”, I say, opening the door to the room my cat is in.

BTW all of Snoop Dog’s family have names that work on Smurf rules

“Welcome to… JURASSIC PARK!”, I say, opening the door to the room my cat is in.

If he’s male, then strictly speaking he’s a draculo

I think my favourite period of English history is the early nineteenth century, but that may just be Regency bias

I’m completely blown away: just saw someone taking a selfie at the fringe not featuring Phoebe Waller-Bridge

Looking for advice. I’m a small business owner and I’m absolutely livid that a recent business deal to buy a fun fair has fallen through because of a gang of teenagers and their talking dog. I’ve already tried pretending to be a ghost, so don’t bother replying with that…

Still thinking about how one day I learned that British gardening centres also sell cake and I still haven’t found a way to move there.

*to the tune of Mambo No. 5*

Looking for advice. I’m a small business owner and I’m absolutely livid that a recent business deal to buy a fun fair has fallen through because of a gang of teenagers and their talking dog. I’ve already tried pretending to be a ghost, so don’t bother replying with that…

I hate when I order too large a portion of ribs that it tips my car over and my modern stone age family has to get back home on foot.

A man is hole punching across from me on the train, and for some reason I’m finding it as offensive as if he was clipping his toenails

It didn’t do Piggy any favours

Kish Patel was just asked a question about what he’d do if he found a tortoise in the dessert

It didn’t do Piggy any favours

Bit of a secret: writers don’t really care what genre it’s in, it’s a comedic-horror-romance, it’s an elevated-dramedic-dystopian-period piece

Kash Patel has just been activated to assassinate the Prime Minister of Malaysia

Americans love the “cotswolds”. Going to England, you must visit the “cotswolds”! I’ve lived here my whole life, I couldn’t point to the cotswolds on a map.

I think my favourite period of English history is the early nineteenth century, but that may just be Regency bias

If a vendor wants to refuse Alan Dershowitz a pierogi that’s their pierogitive.

Americans love the “cotswolds”. Going to England, you must visit the “cotswolds”! I’ve lived here my whole life, I couldn’t point to the cotswolds on a map.

He’s giving Bertha Rochester up there

While we condemn the violence of the Wheelers from Return to Oz, we also must recognise their legitimate political grievance (their hands and feet have been replaced with wheels)

Dancing around the kitchen singing “cook the tagine” to the tune of N.W.A.’s Fuck the Police

Was an okay sequel but grapes instead of animals wasn’t much of an escalation

Be born in the 1940s?

“Unpopular opinion but…” says online person before stating the most iodine opinion imaginable.

The secret is that Liam Neeson has been acting like he’s in a spoof film for years