Engagement farming is so last year. The new trend is engagement threatening. Like this post or I'll kill myself.

My Nan asked politely if I was gay (second time she's done this) and I responded "only on Sundays" then she got real quiet and I had to spend the next 5 minutes reassuring her it was a joke.

DAY 600!!!!!

Actually rules that Christmas perfectly syncs up with the summer solstice and some of the nicest days of the year in Australia.

My dad's only sexist when he's stacking the dishwasher.

Blueskys biggest problem is the ui is like 20 to 30% more dogshit than twitters and that's enough friction to turn people off using it.

Nobody likes posts on this app. You're all miserable. Why must you keep your hearts so close to your chest. Give them to me. I want them.

Hmm yeah. I get why people are quitting their main channels on YouTube now.

I told a person on stream today that half life didn't have gibs for some reason and now hours later I'm sitting here thinking what the fuck I was even on about. Sorry to that guy. I dunno what I was saying.

Describing my content as "high effort slop" to family and friends.

No matter how cynical and jaded I get it's nice to know I'll never be as completely devoid of happiness as your average streamers twitch chat during the game awards.

Went to bed and woke up with a headache. This is the end for me. I can't go on.

Went outside with @bavon.bsky.social earlier this year.

Bro I just flipped my pillow case inside out have I been sleeping on MOLD??

@jollywangcore.bsky.social can you see the vision

Deeply amusing that you can get copyright flagged for songs recorded by the USSR Ministry of Culture Symphony on youtube. Meanwhile the United States Army Band Makes all its recordings public domain. Feel like you've got it backwards here guys...

Was gonna give this app another shot as my full time Twitter replacement but the discovery feed is still giving me fat furry cock so I'ma try again next month.

Mr. Tchaikovsky Sir I'm sorry for what I do to your fantastic music in this next video but I had to do it so it would fit the segment.

Not sure I can compete in the market place of ideas against busty anime women.

Big believer in putting your foot on the toilet seat while you wipe for extra leverage and comfort.

Feel like I can see the active decline of the US education system via YouTube comments left on my videos.

Convinced the amount of sugar in a sugar sachet is completely random.

oh it’s so over for you buddy

Sometimes I wonder how people end up in internet drama. Like I don't even know how I'd go about doing that. How you do that.

Shattered my phones glass last month. Order a 100 dollar replacement, spent three hours carefully removing the glued down shards of glass and refitting the new back. Did a great job and was very proud of my work. In other news I dropped and shattered my phones glass today.

Everyone's 12 now. Which gives me, the man with the mental age of a 13 year old, a distinct advantage.

Can tell I've uploaded a "classic" jolly video when multiple comments are saying my gameplay is hard to watch. Haven't made one of these in a while. Feels good to know I've still got it.

Sorry babe the cool jacket stays on while shitting.

Opening up the YouTube homepage on mobile is depressing as hell dude. 3 layers of shorts before any long form content. What are we even doing. This might as well be an entirely different app.

Never encountered an app that gives out more desperate vibes than spotify after you unsubscribe.

So if I'm getting this right the new hot rougelike on twitch is CloverPit. A literal slot machine with rougelike elements. You might as well just do crack cocaine at this point it's probably more health for you.

So from what I understand YouTube no longer counts Adblock views and my core viewership all uses ad block. Meaning my stats have tanked into oblivion. I'm not the only one but I'm hit disproportionately hard due to a lack of children watching me.

That not good...

So why have we all stopped talking about the terrible AI upscaling filter YouTube is using on shorts now? It's hideous and the only reason I can think they're doing it is so it's harder to notice AI content.

Half life 2, a game with extreme environmental interactability, allowing for a whole new level of immersion and interactive puzzle solving. Its lasting legacy will be 20 years of seesaw puzzles.

Local Australian man attempts to deliver pizzas in a snow storm, drives 120kmh off a ramp instead ( @jollywangcore.bsky.social )

This is probably as close as I've seen an indie game get to nailing the PS2's graphics/aesthetic.

Spilt soup on me and tried to wipe it off with a napkin but the napkin was brown and very soft and didn't wipe good so now I have a big brown stain with a little red one in the middle of it

huh.

My car got hit a couple of months back and I immediately got out and said "sorry mate" despite the fact I was parked and they ran into me.

Half-Life footsteps on metal SFX at 26:30 in Peacemaker season 2 episode 3.

Whenever I try to do anything related to clothes I'm told I should be fighting for my life against horrors formed from my own damaged psyche. It's bullshit man.

Everyone likes to blame penny pinching executives on the ever degrading quality of products but I think part of the problem is the average dude will almost always buy the absolute cheapest thing they can at the time of purchase versus what’s cheap to own overall.

Really like that I've never been more successful on twitter than since the dipshit took it over. Real neat. Glad things worked out like that.

I think most people just needa jerk off more or jerk off less.

Ever since I started playing video games as a job I've had no free time to play videogames.

Broke my blender making pumpkin soup again :(

This 30 Year Old Youtuber Still Makes Their Lets Plays The Old Fashioned Way.

7:30am: egg white omelette with mushrooms 10am: apple 12pm: cut up fruit with yogurt 3pm: banana 6pm: grilled chicken with salad (light dressing) 8pm: frozen yogurt 830pm: 2 cookies 845pm: 4 cookies 850pm: 8 cookies 9pm: bag of Doritos 930pm: Big Mac and fries