I'd love to wander into the forest and become a tree for 18-36 months

Someone give me a job please What I bring to the table: -Often awake before noon -Strong, healthy thumbs -Adept at talking about the weather and how quickly it's come about -Spreadsheets with such tabs as Sheet1 and Sheet1 (2)

ICE attempted and failed to disappear a food delivery guy. It needed to be scored.

If I speak...

Beth Ditto saying "nope, do not tell me, I don't want to know, I don't do social media" in response to being told how excited people are online that she's on radio 6 is maybe the healthiest thing I've ever heard

imagine getting qt dunked by ed davey. unrecoverable. you’re furious and he is serenely going down a log flume in bognor regis.

A 'drop everything to see' band announcing a local date when I'm already seeing a 'drop everything to see' band 😔

the sense of relief opening tiktok and seeing that my favourite geezer on there spent Saturday polishing his wife's car

creams of the scone age

Full marks on the eye test and I didn't even revise

fuck that fucking doctor "go out tonight and see a great clown" fuck you that man needed antidepressants

AI shaming | patreon.com/lubchansky

Exclusive: Labour sources report that the government is looking into age verification for soggy porn mags in bushes and woodlands. Conflicting rumours on whether the ban will include discarded dvds.

I fear it may be revealing too much about my childhood to share that coke lime tastes like bubble liquid

still kinda mad about the guy at a charity Pay What You Want raffle who bought multiple tickets and then won multiple times because he was the only person who did

Some cultures believe that when a photographer takes your photo, they steal a piece of your soul. Obviously that's not true, they do it when they talk you into buying a vintage SLR

The government's dork ass age gate thing now means that if you choose to send your own partner nudes over like discord or whatever, you have to submit ID or else they'll be censored

My local venue switching to a £1 cup deposit system has essentially added a loyalty scheme where after going to enough gigs I get a free trip to the cash only chippy

TOMORROW NIGHT, possibly my most chaotic stream yet... The Bog Boys have been tasked with bomb defusing duties. God help us all. 7:15pm, Tuesday 22nd July, with @slothehhh.bsky.social @newkuu.bsky.social @macaroniprince.bsky.social and introducing... @austincrabbe.bsky.social

I'm feeling grumpy, so in an attempt to change that I am posting these old fake Antiques Roadshow pictures that make me laugh

WeTransfer just changed their TOS giving themselves permission to train AI on any content you transfer and produce derivative works based on content you transfer that they are allowed to monetize and you are not allowed payment for. Stop using WeTransfer.

sure, you probably enjoy watching wildlife. but do you like it THIS much?

Shoegaze? I don't shoo gays, I invite them closer.

Just putting this out there, if anyone ever feeds my face, voice, or anything else to AI in any form, but especially for what you think is a funny silly little joke, I will [actionable threat] your [redacted] and [omitted from the record] until [advised to remove]. No quarter for that shit.

you have been visited by "Le Boulanger Quebecois" repost to receive his blessing

Today's the day I quit Sister Act Hypno Nasty habit

In case you can't tell what just happened, JK Rowling instructed her followers to take photos of anyone in a women's restroom who doesn't match their idea of Western feminine beauty standards. Short hair? Thick cheekbones/jaw? Too tall or broad-shouldered? You're now "a man" and will be harassed.

Any time you have to take a look and share would be massively appreciated. Thank you all so much as always for your time and support ❤️ gofund.me/64635af6

I'm counting down the days until the Kite Festival is in town. This is what it's come to.

I gotta start being annoying about showing off my photos because like have you seen this shit?

Liberal response to leftist agitation

And our Gendered Intelligence Fundraiser continues!!! Div is passing the baton my way so that we can have some community games after a chat about the importance of making art as a trans and nonbinary people! Come hang out and support! twitch.tv/erikamightbe...

In Final Destination 2, Clear's hair is dyed blonde, so the whole time she had herself locked up in the padded cell she was still like "well gotta look good, better buy some bleach"

Guy who downloads episodes of Michael McIntyre's Big Show to watch on the train

god I hope it's Alesha Dixon and Azuka Ononye

alright done, can I clean my screen now

I'm sure I've posted Godspeed You! Black Emperor's amp before, but it bears repeating.

Remember: switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading

this is probably all going to be great for the midwest emo scene at least

My first day working at the stock exchange: "yeah boss, I loosened up all those window frames real nice, no idea why they were sealed shut"

Fisherman Joe after I electrocute his 4th magikarp in a row: "I know, I'll send out another magikarp, they'll never see it coming"

modern retelling of romeo and juliet but instead of families they're feuding polycules

less than a month until I turn 30 and I'm actually taking it really well you guys

Stone Cold Steve Brookstein

look I'm not saying it'd fix everything, but life would be a lot easier if we all had entrance themes when we walked into a room

They/Theme Hospital

Sharing with alt text