Well someone put it back on for fucks sake. This isn’t right.

Therapist: it's ok, clean shaven Bruno doesn't exist, he can't hurt you.

Sound the alarm, Bruno has shaved his goatee off…

The premier skill of Eddie Howe is player development. Turning a borderline problem child into a Barca winger, an England regular, and a big profit was not a pre-ordained outcome. #nufc

Good fee, and excellent early business for someone who delivered in key moments, but always felt like he was here on holiday. Keep the business moving United

An excellent player that I think will get much better and make this fee look a steal. He’s also delivered some great moments here, and yet this won’t hurt one jot*. A winger that’s been part of this era but somehow still detached from it. It’s time. A nice person by all accounts, delighted for him.

Not a great look…

Or just double down. Whatever. Put the season in the bin. Ignore what will stress you out and move on.

Total reverse of results in the second half please

⚫ £20m-£25m outlay 💸 ⚪ But UEFA benefit? 🔍 ⚫ NOT a sign club are staying/expanding St James' Park 🏟️ ⚪ 'Optionality' for SJP rebuild AND new stadium 🔮 ⚫ PIF commitment? 🇸🇦 👀 Revealed: The undisclosed details behind #NUFC's purchase of Leazes Terrace: www.nytimes.com/athletic/728...

May 19! Happy Steely Dan Day to all who celebrate!

🎙️🍿👀 Live show ready at the @gosforthcivictheatre.co.uk - featuring @georgecaulkin.bsky.social in full flow. ⚫⚪ The sold-out #NUFC podcast all-stars - not my idea for a title... - takes place from 7.30pm... @tfnufc.bsky.social

🎙️🌑 POTT: Extra Tyne ⚪️🎙️ A special extended interview with Big Dan Burn, talking mental health, a challenging season with #NUFC, Eddie Howe, being a cup winner, not giving up his shirt without a fight, the World Cup and tons more. podonthetyne.supportingcast.fm

Farewell, Kieran Trippier, one of #NUFC’s greatest signings. With contributions from Amanda Staveley, Eddie Howe, Dan Burn, Wor Flags and many more. This is free to read. www.nytimes.com/athletic/728...

Dan Burn interview: I rang mam and said ‘I don’t want to feel like this any more. When does it stop?’ The #NUFC & England defender talks mental health, speaking up, navigating a tough season, Eddie Howe, the World Cup and much more. This is FREE to read. www.nytimes.com/athletic/727...

Fresh from landing back on home soil from the Australian leg of Maxïmo Park's triumphant 20th Anniversary tour, Paul Smith has a message for you about why you should come to see him and Peter Brewis spin tunes at Midnight Callers this Friday! £8 (£10 on the door) https://bit.ly/MidnightCallers26

Couple about to sign divorce papers… WOMAN: I wish I'd never joined that Star Wars dating app MAN: You were looking for love in Alderaan places WOMAN: And I wish I'd never married a guy addicted to Star Wars puns MAN: It was a wookie mistake WOMAN: Just sign it MAN, SIGNING: May divorce be with you

🏃 A bit self-indulgent, sorry, but I ran my 30th 5k of April this morning to raise money for @tinylivestrust.bsky.social - a charity which is very close to my heart. 💷❤️ I know times are tough, but if you are able to spare a pound or 2, then thank you so much. www.justgiving.com/page/chriswa...

🚨 Gig announcement 🚨 We're excited that the incredible Ibibio Sound Machine will play GCT on the 22nd October this year. Tickets go on general sale Friday 1 May at 10am via gosforthcivictheatre.co.uk, Seetickets and DICE. #GCT10

Prevailing mood seems to be more John Martin in the Laing.

In Manchester Art Gallery and JC is showing the correct level of enthusiasm for United’s trip to Arsenal this evening

Krusty the Klown shouting “look at my range!” but it’s Steve Pemberton.

It's 10 years since a group of people with learning disabilities saw their vision of a cultural space for everyone become reality as we took on Gosforth Civic Hall and got to work creating a place we can all enjoy. We can’t wait to celebrate 10 years with you, and to shape the next 10 together 💛🧡❤️💙

Maybe a summer with an actual DoF worthy of the name will let the poor bloke take a holiday. #nufc

A very fair point. Newcastle were flying when the poor feller was ill but it’s been a steady decline since. Dreadful management by the suits.

Very well put. The reason it doesn't sit well with me is this club has run Howe in to the ground with it's mismanagement at times. I also feel our loss will be someone else's gain. #nufc

We're not getting a manager of that level. They understand that you need the biggest wage/transfer budget to compete. #NUFC

People who follow my tweets will know I’ve been on the patience side of the Howe In/Out argument. He took on a lot while the boardroom level was a mess at the club and somehow we managed a trophy in period where we hadn’t invested. It does look like he has lost the groups faith in his ideas #nufc

A new manager will get a tune out of some of these players. Howe did it when he came but at a certain point players stop listening and responding. They don’t look like they are motivated at all now

I’d love to see Howe get to manage after a competent transfer window. I’m generally not a grass is greener type of person, but it’s hard to defend the current run of performances.

The reason we’re here is two seasons of terrible squad management off the field. IMO it would be foolish to jettison Howe, but when swathes of people start to want the manager gone (unbelievable a year after winning a trophy for us), then he might as well go. #NUFC

By the way, that’s on the players. Awful decision making and technical delivery in key moments at both ends of the pitch #NUFC

I’d quite liked the last three weeks….

We’re watching the same movie again, aren’t we? #NUFC

This Reform leaflet from three Gateshead candidates looks like a timelapse of the same person

When others didn't, we believed 😤🤍 #WorClub ⚪️⚫️

Rob Elliot, saviour. Huge achievement from the Heed.

WE ARE STAYING UP!!! 🤩⬆️ #WorClub ⚫️🟡

If I’m not mistaken, that’s 17 year old Mason Miley, younger brother of Lewis, dinking a killer ball through for Sean Neave (with a great finish, mind, he’s got a chance). Another Miley covering at right back, he’s playing several levels up from his regular age group.

Park Seung-soo’s reaction to Neave’s accomplished lob is lovely. Ferreira loves a goal, mind. And from the little bits I saw, Pivas looked so comfortable on the ball at centre back. And this is the weakest age group coming through by all accounts. #NUFC

Awesome image from Artemis. Big!

Absolute cinema watching that jar of Nutella escape contain behind the backs of the astronauts after packing other things away

Hell of a player. Dictating and orchestrating from right back was new to me and I’m wonder why more players can’t be like that. However, they can’t, Tripps is a real one off. Not sure many in England appreciates what an outstanding footballer he’s been. As good as there’s been in black and white.

Thank you Tripps. For everything 🥹🖤🤍 #NUFC

“Handle duels and secure space” - did #NUFC sign Darth Vader?

6 players Eddie Howe coached into the England squad. #nufc.

Hopkinson is smart. A proper world-class operator, his comments are appropriate given the sentiment among some fans, even if the plan is 99% that Howe stays. If he'd just said "Eddie is staying no matter what," he opens himself up to criticism among the fans, whom he also needs to manage. #NUFC

Just remembering how good Bowie was at losing his marker.