Modern work is having ten word docs open at the same time and never once correctly opening the one you’re trying to work on.

Hey so this is bad.

OMFG they finally ran the DNA and it was Robert Eugene Brashers - every single person who’s life was ruined by this deserves a HELL of an apology by Austin PD because what do you mean it was not only none of the people convicted or accused but was an actual serial killer.

So for my birthday next month I have: 10/3: Life of a Showgirl album release 10/3: Showgirl movie 10/4-6: Trip to DC 10/5: Lorde show on day of birthday 10/7: Stop at Bull Run battlefield on way home 10/6: Birthday of other friend It’s gonna be so much fun.

I am actually caught up on laundry this weekend and I don’t even know how I feel about this.

Sorry, folks. Sounds like the civil war has been postponed due to white shooter

I’ve lived in North Carolina since 2018 and just got my first jury summons. Very surprised it took this long.

Just lived my worst nightmare and had a tiny black widow climb on me and reenacted this scene and am considering burning these clothes and scrubbing off the top layer of epidermis. IT WAS ON MY SKIN. MY SKINNN.

not gonna spoil it. just go look lol

Out: wishing for fall because it is too fucking hot and humid and I’m dying. In: wishing for fall because I want to be able to go outside without being eaten alive by mosquitoes. #northcarolina

“I can’t believe people aren’t more concerned about [insert current catastrophic event]!” We are very concerned, thanks, we just can’t do anything about it but trust me we are all freaking out.

If the Chewy package is not delivered soon the cats may kill me.

them: ugh, could you be more annoying me: oh god, yes

So glad we got to Swiftie out together last night since today the detractors are in full force LET US BE HAPPY

I am actively crying.

Thank god I work from home tomorrow and don’t have to get up at 6am.

My bet for album name - Karma

I would literally pay HBO an extra dollar every month to stop trying to make me watch Bill Maher.

the intensity of my anger at those who would criminalize the homeless — a population literally created by the greed and callousness of the ruling class — is very hard to contain. it was you who dismantled the safety net. if you don’t like the results, put it back

Unpopular opinion but if I was living/working in a big, flat-roofed building, I would absolutely want to go up there. I sincerely thought “I want to go on the roof” was like a super normal human impulse but apparently it’s not. Because for real? Hell yeah I wanna go on the roof of the White House.

Dealing with law enforcement can be stressful, so it’s important to know your rights before you’re face-to-face with ICE agents. While there’s never any guarantee that law enforcement officers will follow the law, here’s what they can and can’t legally do to you and what you can legally demand. ⬇️

Watching the Storm Area 51 doc and I am honestly just shocked that people didn’t know what Area 51 is. Genuinely thought that was common knowledge. Also “it turns out that Nevada is just a desert. There’s nothing out here.” is both accurate and also I thought people knew that.

This is the conversation I have had with every medical professional I see for the last few months. I literally have just gestured like this and they just nod and say “yeah.”

I was so shocked to see this news while in a work meeting that my supervisor stopped the meeting to ask if I was ok. I apparently just assumed that he, like Kieth Richards, would live forever. RIP Ozzy.

I’ve said it before but I am eternally grateful to my dermatologist and her office for being patient and amazing and helping me through this skin nightmare all without once shaming me for my dermatillomania.

This is as good as everyone says it is.

Haven’t really been on social media today, might check and see what’s going on, she thought foolishly.

A lil tribute to the kelp forests along the California coast 🌊✨

It’s good that my traditional way of celebrating the 4th is to watch Jaws, because this year I can still do that and I’m instead celebrating the 50th anniversary of the movie. 🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈

Adding lol to the most depressing text ever so my friend knows I'm fine 😎

saw this while walking the dogs and same, neighbor, same

Mushroom Cloud Hopefully Nothing Major theonion.com/mushroo...

I know there are far worse things happening but the Restore I’ve been shopping at for the last eight years has rearranged and it is way worse now and I am surprisingly heartbroken over it.

Whenever family comes to stay I become very aware of how much time I spend talking to my cats and how insane I must sound.

Well, well, well. If it isn't our old nemesis deadly heatwave.

It’s a good thing Congress isn’t alive to see this

God you log off the internet for a few hours and we BOMBED IRAN

Every day of 2025 has felt like the longest day of the year, so no Becky, I’m not excited for the solstice.

"Was it really this dumb in 2003" guys they renamed french fries

The joy of being bipolar is that when I’m having a depressive spell I wish I was having a manic spell and when I’m having a manic spell I with I was just depressed because with this I get all the pleasure of depression but also need to crawl out of my skin.

Posted this on instagram and the people who have liked it are not Swifties and I badly want to know what they think it means because I kinda doubt they know the reference?

HERE IS A THING that EVERY American can do: 1. Call your Senator. 2. Say the following: "I am requesting that you place a hold on the nomination of Bill Essayli as U.S. Attorney for the Central District of CA for directing federal agents to assault a U.S. Senator." 3. Call other Senator, repeat

That’s my mom!! (She’s the best.)

I hate those tiny moments when he’s both funny and accidentally correct.

Currently experiencing my absolute least favorite cat owner problem - cat hair stuff in my nasal cavity that I cannot get out.

Sorry for being your most annoying mutual. It will continue

"Harriet Tubman, along with Black soldiers, took part in a daring Union raid of Combahee Ferry near Beaufort, South Carolina. She became the first American woman to lead a major military operation when she and at least 150 Black soldiers helped to rescue more than 700 Black Americans..."

My bff has a boyfriend now and has thus disappeared entirely yet I am such a bitchy person that I didn’t really talk to her while my mom was here bc I was busy and tbh my feelings are a little hurt and now I feel like I need to apologize for it.

Yessssss I was losing hope that season 2 would happen, I’m so happy 😭

Just accidentally set off my car alarm for the first time and let me just say, I did not like that one bit.