now why would i accomplish a four minute task now when i can agonize over it for the next six months

The size of this ketchup bottle is not helping the warped self-image of me being a giant.

Happy Halloween!

Students: Trick or Treat! Me: Life is completely fair and a perfect meritocracy. Students: AHHH!! Treat instead! Me: Here are some raisins.

A kid just made this face when he saw we had king size candy bars

You're not gonna believe who I just found.

I'm trying to convince my grad students to put this into a lab presentation for undergraduate students.

We wanted to know what it was like to own a Cybertruck. So @zoeschiffer.bsky.social went to the desert got this absolutely amazing quotes (and Michelle Groskopf took the pictures!) www.wired.com/story/owning...

Congratulations to the Relationship Researchers Interest Group award 🏆winners: Bonnie Le for the Caryl E. Rusbult Early Career Award, and Mirna Đurić for the Graduate Student Paper Award! We can’t wait to hear more at the SPSP Close Relationships Preconference! 🎉

the life of a double agent ain't easy.. you're basically working two jobs

can't believe the IRB approved this part — hope the children are ok!

eh, It wasn't that high up... and 4-year-olds can take it. 😜 But if you're looking for other good moments in the paper... I also recommend reading the acknowledgments closely.

How could you do this to me?

Before criticizing a city, it's important to give it a chance: immerse yourself in its culture, meet its people, try its food, take part in its long-storied traditions. Anyway, that's why I'm at this Taco Bell underneath an overpass in Lansing, MI

Ooh, thank goodness I drink way more than one can of diet soda per day

Picture of me trying to network.

Finally. A TV show that TRULY represents us.

ME ON A TRAIN: Oh no, I accidentally clicked a video with sound! Oh god, people heard a second of loud sound from my phone. I have torn the social contract. EVERYBODY ELSE ON TRAIN: Shit yeah, train time, time to watch the loudest TikToks

Yeah....totally.... Who would do that? Losers and sickos of you ask me

Yeah....totally.... Who would do that? Losers and sickos of you ask me

I know antifa isn't a real organization because I don't get 40 texts a week from them asking for donations.

this is, hands down, the best video I've seen on men's influencer content and it's not close either

Thanks for the thesaurus, I similar it so much.

My friend asked me, "What are your plans for the weekend?" I said, "I'm going to buy glasses." She said, "And then what?" I replied, "Then I'll see."

I was having a perfectly fine morning before I saw this. xkcd.com/2048

Wait, sorry, what was the question again?

Wait, sorry, what was the question again?

Depending on how ugly, it might've been an easy case.

I've started the habit of drinking out of this glass beaker during meetings with students. Every couple of minutes, I make my eye twitch and cough VERY violently.

Hey everyone, I'm excited to show you my FIRST Op-Ed! Hope this doesn't upset anyone.

Narcissus

Tired: "You have an old soul." --Suggests wisdom/maturity beyond their years --Compliment? Wired: "You have a baby boomer soul." --Arguably the same thing --Suggests something awful. --Derogatory, but you're not allowed to say why out loud or else they'll take your house and healthcare away.

Finally got around to reading Great Expectations. Honestly, it was a bit of a let down.

This meeting could've been an email. But, also, not even an email.

Did I finish all my summer research? No. But did I get a jump on new projects? Also, no. BUT: am I ready for the semester to begin next week? Extremely no

This describes almost everything I like. Music, food, tv/movies, people, experiences.