I hope you have a safe and happy new year. I’ll be back sometime in the new year. 😘

And I am not meaning this to shame them because this place is addictive too, all corporate social media is addictive on purpose to keep folks from leaving. So ppl will put up with outrageous amounts of bullshit so they don't lose that sweet sweet dopamine release.

Ppl are so reluctant to leave Twitter because they are addicted to it. They try other places like here and always go back because the high never quite hits the same. They don't want to start over because they don't want to have to wait for the next fix while they get their follows set up. 🧵

I had to leave for work before my leg of lamb was finished 🫠

Caviar is 20% off for the rest of the year at Whole Foods and I def plan on getting some

Yall heard the man.

As soon as I answer the phone and hear that *boop*, I immediately get pissed off.

INSANE 🔥

The Twerking Dead

🖤

Screaming 💀💀💀

Was gonna do a ham for Christmas but saw a reasonably priced duck and leg of lamb.

I get to see Clipse on Friday ☺️

They surprised Grandmama at church for her birthday. 😩😩😩🥰🥰🥰

Big country

THERES SPAGHETTI IN THERE!

Miguel really flew through the air, kicked that girl in the face, looked back then kept singing.

Oh I’m cool being fluffy.

I don’t care how much money I make, what I drive, or what I’m wearing, you better take this coupon or add that discount.

Nope cuz as soon as I see I got matched with an Edmund, imma turn the show into Baddies.

Just found out Leon Thomas did the vocals for the Bobby Brown story and now I can’t unhear him.

Hands pushing the gas, dat ass is steering

I wonder if Quan Millz be writing these stories fresh off a fever dream.

I’m in Walgreens, looking at vitamins and this Mexican woman asked me where something was because I work there. I have this on.

Bernice Talbot?! My husband done did it to that child in the Shop Well parking lot??? LORD TAKE ME NOW!

She was talking big shit on the track.

Don’t nobody want THAT man but you girl.

Audacity.

Graduated cum laude

I’m a real girl, send me 60k. 😉

I wouldn’t know about either so idc.

Deadasspool

I love seeing old men in doctors offices. They don’t want to do nothing but marvel at babies and talk to strangers.

THE ALT TEXT GOT ME WHEEZING

Carl Carlton, the singer-songwriter best known for hits "Everlasting Love" and "She's a Bad Mama Jama," has died, his son announced

It feels so good to be done with school. No more Sunday assignments.

🙃

Cum Laude Shawty

I would fill them up with water and highlighter fluid then turn on a black light. It was cool till I had a party and discovered one of the bottles half full cuz a guy thought it was liquor.

Just being difficult cuz they difficult.

Lmfaooo omg

Now that NYC’s temps are dropping below freezing, please join me in supporting the Coalition for the Homeless & help our unhoused neighbors. We provide hot meals, blankets, shelter… small actions that save lives. It’s a cold world; let’s make it warmer together.✨ Volunteer with me or donate below✨

I work at a bar. The top 5 drink ordered off the holiday menu?? An old fashioned.